My Sorority Pledge? I Swore Off Sisterhood

[BigRedBeta]

This is way more about how women treat each other than any thing the sorority did. It's "Mean Girls" in the framework of someone's real, actual life, and that just happened to involve a sorority.

As I've always said, most women hate their best friend. And I've always lent more credence (not much more) to girls who say "I could never stand to live with that many girls", compared to guys who say that, simply because girls do treat each other like this. Of course the guys she mentioned "owned up" and guys will confront other guys, there may be a fight, but then the air gets cleared and everyone can enjoy a beer when it's over.

[kathykd2005]

I hate saying this, but it sounds like this woman simply needs to go to some therapy and move on. I empathize with her being raped, but at what point do you allow yourself to heal, and say "screw them for making me feel that way"? She said herself she tried to use other things to make herself feel better. She has low self-esteem, and I hope it doesn't get projected onto her daughters.

I doubt highly that the rape factored into their decision to ask her to leave their sorority; she admits from the beginning that she was "out of control." Truly, I think many of us ladies can relate to going a bit nuts our first year of college. Hell, I'll be the first to admit I had some issues with my sorority's ethical standards when I first entered, but they made me a better person in the long run. This just sounds too much like "Pledged" garbage to me.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

.... Women, as a whole, are not evil...I think we can all agree on that....

I don't agree with that. I think women are evil. They will always be selfish, no matter how nice and giving they are. They are doing it for their own good or agenda.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I don't agree with that. I think women are evil. They will always be selfish, no matter how nice and giving they are. They are doing it for their own good or agenda.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I don't agree with that. I think women are evil. They will always be selfish, no matter how nice and giving they are. They are doing it for their own good or agenda.

That's a rather pesssimistic view, isn't it? I mean, I know that human beings are all flawed, but by saying that ALL women have an alternate agenda, don't you think you're insulting your sisterhood?

[Xidelt]

It sounds like this author had trust issues or difficulties getting close with women from the beginning. Her experience with the date rape and the fallout with the sorority were merely the "straw that broke the camel's back." She said she joined the sorority to finally get some female friends. That obviously backfired and she writes about her problems trusting groups of women to this day. To me, it sounds like her issues with close female relationships come from earlier in her life and joining the sorority was a bad idea to begin with. I'm surprised she doesn't have more trust issues in general because of the date-rape.

[SWTXBelle]

There are good people.
There are bad people.
Even good people can do bad things.
It's called being human, and it is not confined to women. Any time you are dealing with people there is the potential for being hurt. But there is also the potential for wonderful, generous people to show their best selves, and to be supportive. I'm just sorry that the writer had sisters who didn't, for whatever reason, rise to the challenge.
I'm also sorry some of you seem to have also had really negative experiences with women. Yikes. I've known a couple of awful women, but the vast majority, thank God, have been great. I'd hate to see women all tarred with the same brush.

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

That's a rather pesssimistic view, isn't it? I mean, I know that human beings are all flawed, but by saying that ALL women have an alternate agenda, don't you think you're insulting your sisterhood?

More than that, she is insulting herself. She is saying that she herself is evil, unless somehow she is exempt from being a woman.

Yes, all people are inherently selfish, to a degree. Not just women. That is a trait of being human. But to have some measure of selfishness does not make one evil, and to say that women as a whole are evil is a level of cynicism that even I, a rather cynical person, have not embraced.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

So far this is the only post that states she wasn't raped... why is everyone else posting that she was?



So the guys made it look like they were doing the deed, but they in fact were not, right?

That doesn't make it any better but everyone is saying she was raped, so that's kind of confusing.

This is what she said before that. It seems he took it farther, because she was unconscious.

"I indulged, partied hard and, a scant two months into the semester, lost my virginity.

But not in the traditional way.

It happened after a fraternity barn dance. All I knew about my date was that he was festively inclined and physically stunning. My sisters considered him a catch. I felt lucky.

After the usual alcoholic overindulgence, I followed him upstairs, where I soon passed out on his sofa. There, I assumed the starring role in a garden-variety “ledge party,” my deflowering on display for anyone desiring a peek."

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

So far this is the only post that states she wasn't raped... why is everyone else posting that she was?



So the guys made it look like they were doing the deed, but they in fact were not, right?

That doesn't make it any better but everyone is saying she was raped, so that's kind of confusing.

In the article she mentions losing her virginity then proceeds to explain her blackout and the ledge incident.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I don't agree with that. I think women are evil. They will always be selfish, no matter how nice and giving they are. They are doing it for their own good or agenda.

Wow! I'm sorry you feel this way. I know that women can be harsh, critical and selfish at times, but the vast majority that I have met over the past 32 years are caring, sweet, good-hearted people who would do for others before doing for themselves. They are our mothers, sisters and friends. I am proud to be a woman!

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by BigRedBeta

Of course the guys she mentioned "owned up" and guys will confront other guys, there may be a fight, but then the air gets cleared and everyone can enjoy a beer when it's over.

"Of course"???? I think you give guys too much credit. I was pretty surprised that the guys owned up in her story. I think that's a rarity.

The pissant frat boys who gang-raped my Kappa Delta sister suffered no consequences at all. They just went on their merry way and actually had the audacity to ask us to do Homecoming with them.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

"Of course"???? I think you give guys too much credit. I was pretty surprised that the guys owned up in her story. I think that's a rarity.

The pissant frat boys who gang-raped my Kappa Delta sister suffered no consequences at all. They just went on their merry way and actually had the audacity to ask us to do Homecoming with them.

I couldn't agree more! Not to mention, is "I'm sorry" good enough?

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

That's a rather pesssimistic view, isn't it? I mean, I know that human beings are all flawed, but by saying that ALL women have an alternate agenda, don't you think you're insulting your sisterhood?

No. It's being truthful without shoving sunshine up anyone's asses.

Originally Posted by pbear19

More than that, she is insulting herself. She is saying that she herself is evil, unless somehow she is exempt from being a woman.

Yes, all people are inherently selfish, to a degree. Not just women. That is a trait of being human. But to have some measure of selfishness does not make one evil, and to say that women as a whole are evil is a level of cynicism that even I, a rather cynical person, have not embraced.

I'm not insulting myself, or my sisterhood. I've been evil at times, I admit. And men are the same way... they just aren't catty like women. Like someone said, men will have fights or whatever, but in the end they'll all laugh and have a beer. Girls get vicious.

[pbear19]

I'm sorry PM_Mama, but I personally will never be convinced that the idea that some women have the capacity to be vicious means that all women are evil. That is a HUGE leap.

The capacity to be mean in certain circumstances (which is a human trait) does not equate to evilness.