Need advice... she's making my life hell!

[paulam]

Dear Isobel,

I hope you will not let this manipulative sister ruin your sorority experience. People like this are often self-destructive. You will find that you are not the only one singled out for "special" treatment by this disturbed woman. Behavior such as you described is usually pervasive, meaning that she behaves this way in all situations, not just in your sorority. It gives her some semblance of control in her world in which nothing is actually in her control. She would need years of therapy to overcome this disturbing behavior. She exhibits some symptoms of a sociopath.

If anything, you should approach her with sympathy...tell her you understand how deeply miserable her life must be when she sees you happily married (maybe with kids?), successful and in control of your life. This would take the wind out of her sails particularly when said sincerely and possibly in hearing range of others. You are not trying to be mean to an emotionally distubed person; you are merely taking control of the situation. I am sure if you checked with some other sisters (not everyone hates you...we all grow up except for the poor unfortunate you have described), you will find she went after others as well and there will be sisters who will support you.

Best of luck and enjoy your meeting.

Sincerely,

Paula M.
Sigma Delta Tau
ΣΔTPatriae Multi Spes Una One Hope of Many People