How is deactivating viewed on your campus?

[KSUViolet06]

At my school, I'm not sure about the fraternities. As far as sororities go, it's not a huge deal. Most girls in the sorority just won't talk to the girl anymore (except maybe her former big or someone she was particularly close to). Honestly I think that's fine, because girls sometimes think that they can terminate and still reap the benefits of being in the sorority without wearing letters or having to pay.

[33girl]

When I was in school, it was a fairly big deal - unless the self-termination/deactivation was for something really benign and enforced by a national rather than chapter policy. One of the sororities had a really anal payment system, the girls couldn't have payment plans or something (plus their national dues were the highest on campus) and because of this some of them had to deactivate. A lot of them stayed close with the sisters even after they left.

Now if you quit because you just weren't feeling it, or if the sorority/fraternity terminated you for behavior or just being a general jagoff reasons, that was a huge thing. Sometimes you were almost afraid to terminate someone who came across as a nice person even if she was a shitty sister because it would make the sorority look bad.

Oh, and the entire time I was in college, we had a 100% initiation rate of women who pledged. I never knew this was so rare until I heard of sororities giving awards for it. We had a couple girls who signed open bids and then didn't pledge, but that was a different matter. I think most of the other sororities were similar. I attribute this to the fact that we had deferred rush and by the time girls started pledging they knew what being in a sorority was all about and that they were where they wanted to be.

[honeychile]

I don't know how it is now, but it was a HUGE deal when I was in school - especially if the chapter terminates the New Membership or a Sister.

I once heard a Exec. Officer say that anyone can sign a bid - but can the chapter retain the sister? That's the true test of a chapter! (Yours must have been awesome, 33!)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I once heard a Exec. Officer say that anyone can sign a bid - but can the chapter retain the sister? That's the true test of a chapter! (Yours must have been awesome, 33!)

I'm not saying we never had anyone terminate (we did) or that there weren't people that we didn't say a year or so later "what in the world were we thinking?" but we got them through pledging. Again, though, I think most of the campus was like that.

[ForeverRoses]

It wasn't that big of a deal when I was in school. I remember taking an arobics class when I was a pledge and one of the other girls in class started telling me how she had just deactivated that year. Turns out she was my grand-big! She had financial reasons for deactivating and she still lived with three active members of our chapter.

We had a few other people go inactive for other reasons, and they stayed friends with whomever they were closest to-- since I never knew the whole story I continued to say hello to them and didn't shun them when I saw them.

I think the only time we were upset over someone going inactive is when they continued to wear letters or represent themselves as part of our sorority after they were inactive.

** for some reason I don't think inactive or deactive are the correct terms when a collegiate AOII stops being active, however I can't remember the proper term since we always called it "deactivating"

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

As far as sororities go, it's not a huge deal. Most girls in the sorority just won't talk to the girl anymore (except maybe her former big or someone she was particularly close to). Honestly I think that's fine, because girls sometimes think that they can terminate and still reap the benefits of being in the sorority without wearing letters or having to pay.

This annoys me to no end. When I advised, some girls would claim they couldn't "afford" to be in the house anymore. Yet, they still did just fine living in their own apartment, going out to the bars every night and sometimes even trying to come to social events by just "happening" to be at the same bar as a date dash or crush party. Um, no.

Depending on the reason, resigning membership wasn't a big huge deal at either my undergraduate campus or the campus where I advised. For the most part, we were friendly with girls who resigned, too.

[Benzgirl]

As far as I can remember, we never stopped talking to anyone. Most of the reasons for deactivating were financial, and those were few and far between. How could you snub someone for this?

The few that depledged usually were asked to leave, and our campus was so big that you may never run into them after that.

We never had a problem with those who deactivated showing up for social events.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

How could you snub someone for this?

Let me clarify, we wouldn't go out of our way to hang out with them. Like if someone who terminated their membership wanted to do lunch or something, I wouldn't say no. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to hang out with that person if they weren't someone I was particularly close to to begin with.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

As far as I can remember, we never stopped talking to anyone. Most of the reasons for deactivating were financial, and those were few and far between. How could you snub someone for this?

The few that depledged usually were asked to leave, and our campus was so big that you may never run into them after that.

We never had a problem with those who deactivated showing up for social events.

Like ISUKappa said, there's a difference between the girl who deactivated for $$ reasons who you know is working 3 jobs and barely keeping her head above water, and the girl who says she deactivated for $$ reasons who's walking around with super expensive clothes/purses and partying every weekend.

I mean, if the sorority isn't important enough to you that you don't WANT to pay the dues anymore, just SAY that. Don't make it seem as if you CAN'T. But don't expect everyone to be cool with that decision and still treat you like a sister when you're basically saying that the sorority and its members aren't important enough to you for you to go without a new LV bag.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Don't make it seem as if you CAN'T. But don't expect everyone to be cool with that decision and still treat you like a sister when you're basically saying that the sorority and its members aren't important enough to you for you to go without a new LV bag.

Exactly. Those are the girls I was refering to. I honestly feel badly for girls that have to terminate or depledge because they genuinely can't afford to be Sigmas. Then there are girls who use finances as an excuse to quit, and then try to still hang out with everyone and want to be invited over to the house to hang out as if nothing ever happened. That is where the cutting people off comes in.

[honeychile]

What about the member who was recently initiated, but then realizes (thanks in part to the shortened new member periods) that she made a huge mistake - especially when the members realize it, too? I would be less apt to shun her, than someone who's made off with chapter funds or such.

[LaneSig]

One of my friends in another fraternity told me that they had a huge problem with this. Members of their chapter would activate and de-activate monthly, depending on their finances. Literally, they would say: "I can't afford dues this month, I'm going inactive. I'll go active again next month."

Our chapter made a rule: If you are going inactive, it's for the whole semester. But, unless you drop out of school, you still owe us the dues for the entire semester. Do you need a payment plan?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

On our campus some chapters retain better than others, but in general there's little stigma attached to a girl who de-pledged or quit because of financial reasons, extreme personal circumstances, or some sort of emergency. I don't ignore anyone who voluntarily dropped out of any chapter here, but personally I'm in general a little less close to the ones that quit because they didn't give it a chance. To me that makes me wary of them and their dependability. The only people I can think of that have a stigma from many Greeks in general are a small group of girls who were either kicked out or asked to leave. That, though, was extenuating circumstances. And of course, it's a bigger deal when an initiated sister quits than a new member. 9 times out of 10, though, they have a good reason. New members sometimes drop because of financial...and sometimes because they think they made a mistake. Personally, that doesn't bother me much, seeing as how they have four days of recruitment plus limited contact for two weeks before that to make a lifetime commitment. It's understandable if they decide sororities aren't for them during their new member period. Most of our chapters still have good retention rates, though, on new members.

The ones that irritate me the most are the ones that CHOOSE to leave and then continue to wear letters, keep letters on their cars, and refer to themselves as a member of XYZ.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

One of my friends in another fraternity told me that they had a huge problem with this. Members of their chapter would activate and de-activate monthly, depending on their finances. Literally, they would say: "I can't afford dues this month, I'm going inactive. I'll go active again next month."

Our chapter made a rule: If you are going inactive, it's for the whole semester. But, unless you drop out of school, you still owe us the dues for the entire semester. Do you need a payment plan?

Wow, that's not right...membership shouldn't be a semester-to-semester thing. Gamma Phi Beta doesn't have an "inactive" status - all members must be active members. Some girls in my chapter would try to "go inactive" every once in a while and then have to be told, "Sorry, there is no 'inactive,' only active or resigned membership." When forced with that scenario, most chose to stay active rather than completely resign membership, especially seniors who seemed to think they could disappear their last year and get away with it.