Dating/effing within your circle of friends

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Do you prefer to find dates and/or sex within your circle of friends? Friends of your friends? Or do you prefer to meet people who are strangers?

I read this about five times before I decided to respond, because I just didn't know what to say. I had never seen the term "effing" written out before, and it made me giggle and gasp at the same time.

Now, I haven't dated in 13 years (been married for 10!), so things are a little more carefree than they were when I was single, but I have some experience dating both within and out of my circle of friends. In HS, we dated each other's exes, but we didn't have very physical relationships. We were the youth group kids in Catholic school, honor students, with very strict parents.

In college, it became too complicated to date within your circle, because relationships were much more complicated. So you met through class, organizations, etc.

I can't answer for anything outside of that. I married a few years after college, to someone i had met in college (though we were older when we graduated).

I think it's a personal decision, a very different decision with each person/potential partner. I don't think there is a hard and fast rule. Consideration and respect bode well no matter what you do, and you are old enough to be aware of consequences.

So....long answer is that it's up to you, based on each individual situation.

[Infamous12]

I cannot date a stranger*, stranger meaning someone without a link/friend or 'endorsement' (Thanks Alethiasi ) I have to either know this person through personal connection i.e. we go/used to go to school, work, church together. OR a good friend must know them and be able to serve as a reference for them.

I've dated a person in my circle before - unless you're absolutely sure it's going to work - DO NOT DO IT. The headache is not worth the strain on the friendships, it affects not just the two involved but the rest of the circle as well.

<---- Idiot girl who attempted to date a best friend but didn't really feel it and now fears the friendship may be totally gone... Though he 'claims' he doesn't hate me.

[AlethiaSi]

Originally Posted by Infamous12

I cannot date a stranger*, stranger meaning someone without a link/friend or 'endorsement' (Thanks Alethiasi ) I have to either know this person through personal connection i.e. we go/used to go to school, work, church together. OR a good friend must know them and be able to serve as a reference for them.

I've dated a person in my circle before - unless you're absolutely sure it's going to work - DO NOT DO IT. The headache is not worth the strain on the friendships, it affects not just the two involved but the rest of the circle as well.

<---- Idiot girl who attempted to date a best friend but didn't really feel it and now fears the friendship may be totally gone... Though he 'claims' he doesn't hate me.

lol we can also call it a "recommendation" but i like endorsement better
awww that sucks, i went through something like that, and it broke up the whole group.... i'm so sorry, i hope it works out, meaning you guys can be friends

[Infamous12]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

lol we can also call it a "recommendation" but i like endorsement better
awww that sucks, i went through something like that, and it broke up the whole group.... i'm so sorry, i hope it works out, meaning you guys can be friends

Yeah...'endorsement'. I think I'll tell my boyfriend that now - "Honey, you were a part of an endorsement deal. " LOL.

The whole group (about 5 of us) knows our entire background story and everything. The other girl in the group, my personal bestest girl friend, was never too keen on the idea of me and him anyway - she knew I didn't feel it and was only trying to force myself to feel it because he was my friend. Which in turn was me sacrificing what I felt for the sake of his feelings. Not good at all. It'll be fine though. The boys and her are trying to hook him up with somebody to get his mind off of me, lol. Bad thing is, his crush has been accumulating speed since we were in junior high...so yeah.

Thankfully the rest of the group kinda' ignores it, lol, and loves me and him just the same. We just can't have any 'family dinners' until he's comfortable with me....which sounds like it'll be around November...of 08.