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Originally Posted by Redraidergirl
OK. i really want to pledge for a sorority [something i've wanted to do for a long time], but my parents are dead set against it. They have negative images from the media and stuff and nothing i can do can change that. I've recently had the brilliant idea of getting a job, and trying to pay for it myself...
I was just wondering if there are sororities against taking sophmores [maybe a junior by the time i get my $$ saved up], if they aren't getting support from their families... or if their families don't know about them pledging.
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I paid my own way and still managed to make the Dean's List and be an officer in the sorority, as well as belonging to a few other campus organizations. If you are over 18, how you manage your time and money is your business. UNLESS mom and dad are paying for college and living expenses, and will cut you off if you disobey them on this... then, I think you need to weigh your priorities. What is more important? Debt and independence OR all expenses paid and family support, knowing you will eventually have the freedom once you graduate in a few short years?
You can get student loans and a job and still go to school full time and be a member of a sorority. I had no choice but to get student loans b/c my family could not pay for my college. If my parents had the money and said to me, "We will pay for all of your schooling and expenses on the condition you don't join a sorority," I can tell you that I would have readily agreed. The sorority has been a wonderful and positive influence in my life, but student debt is an expense I would rather do without!
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Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest
When people are having this problem, I always wonder about how exactly they present sorority or fraternity life to their parents. I think in some cases people are either not providing enough information or they are providing the wrong information.
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The problem with this is that many students don't know anything about Greek Life-- they learn about it at recruitment. They know coming in that it is a chance to meet and interview with the sororities, which are women-only campus organizations with exclusive membership. I haven't met a great number PNMs with successful recruitments who knew all about Greek Life and sororities who weren't already legacies or from a hometown that was pro-Greek.
I used to advise at a campus with a lot of first generation Americans. There were a good number of sororities, but there were some retention issues right after recruitment because of the cultural barrier between the first generation American new members and their foreign born parents. It's just the nature of the beast, and if the parents have financial control, that means a lot. And respect for one's elders and abiding by the family's wishes is a very big part of those cultures. If the student can get through to her parents or pay for it on her own, half the battle is won. The other half comes if you can coax them into coming up for Family Weekend or bringing your sisters home to meet the family so they can see what you've gotten yourself into and come around once they see what a positive influence it can be. But if a girl goes through recruitment, she is expected to plunk down $25-250 on Bid Day or soon thereafter. Many who go through without telling mom and dad and don't have the $$$ will have to drop.
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