Bridal authority, how far should it go?

[sageofages]

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

Hey Sorors/Sistergreeks. I had an interesting conversation with a bride to be and I thought I'd post it here and see what you think. If you are a bridesmaid, maid of honor, etc., and the bride told you that she wants "her girls" to wear their hair in a bun with spiral curls but your hair is in a funky short cut so you can't really wear that unless you pay for a weave, do you wear your hair in the style the bride picked or do you risk upsetting the bride by wearing your own style? The same question applies for the dresses. Say its your BF that's getting married and she picks out a dress for you that is less than flattering to your figure. Do you go with her decision and wear the dress that's less than flattering for you or do you try to change her mind by looking at other dress options?

Wellllllllll.

Dress first. Attendants wear what the bridezi...er Bride picks. If it is hideous or unflattering the attendant has one of three options....try and change the bride's mind, suck it up and wear it out of "love/friendship" for the bride (and laugh her @ss off about it years down the road) or don't be an attendant.

Hair...now that is another story. I have waist length STRAIGHT boring hair. It does not curl, and I don't do short. (yes yes...boring boring boring). Don't touch my hair. Asking a friend to "do" something unnatural to them with their hair is just over the edge, IMHO.

So dress negotiable...hair NOT.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by sageofages

Wellllllllll.

Dress first. Attendants wear what the bridezi...er Bride picks. If it is hideous or unflattering the attendant has one of three options....try and change the bride's mind, suck it up and wear it out of "love/friendship" for the bride (and laugh her @ss off about it years down the road) or don't be an attendant.

Hair...now that is another story. I have waist length STRAIGHT boring hair. It does not curl, and I don't do short. (yes yes...boring boring boring). Don't touch my hair. Asking a friend to "do" something unnatural to them with their hair is just over the edge, IMHO.

So dress negotiable...hair NOT.

I think it all should be negotiable because the bridesmaids are doing the bride a favor by paying for their dresses. If the bride is paying for the bridesmaids dresses, then I guess the bridesmaids would simply have to agree with her choice of dress regardless to if its flattering to their figure of not. Some brides don't want the bridesmaids to outshine them so they will choose a dress that looks ridiculous. I would opt to tell her the dresses look ridiculous and try to negotiate first before I abandon her wedding party.

As for the hair, I have witnessed brides requesting ridiculous hairstyles for their wedding party. I don't agree that a Bride should have any say whatsoever on how the wedding party wears their hair, especially if the bridesmaid would have to get a weave to achieve the style the bride wants. It doesn't matter if the bride is paying for the weave or not, she should not have the right to dictate your hairstyle. I think her authority should only go as far as requesting her wedding party to wear hairstyles that are appropriate for a wedding. JMHO.

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by sageofages

Wellllllllll.

If it is hideous or unflattering the attendant has one of three options....try and change the bride's mind, suck it up and wear it out of "love/friendship" for the bride (and laugh her @ss off about it years down the road) or don't be an attendant.

100% agree. I'll be in my best friend's wedding next spring, and several of the bridesmaids were able to convince the bride to allow us to choose similar dresses that were flattering to each of us, just in the same color. As long as she agreed. But if she doesn't agree, you just wear it for the day, and maybe donate it as a prom dress.

But the hair??? It's the bride's day, but it's still my hair. She can advise that the hair not be over-the-top ghettoness, but she shouldn't dream of dictating that weave will be worn on her wedding day. I think I can make good choices on how to wear a tasteful natural style for a formal occasion.