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In the end, I think the successfulness of a sorority experience does not depend at all on what "tier" of a sorority you are in. You are right in recognizing that what counts more is whether you fit with that particular group. Unfortunately, "fit" on this site is used sometimes as just a PC term for whether or not the sorority is of the "tier" that you see yourself being in.
To answer the question of how the lower-tiered girls feel being in their respective sororities... I can honestly tell you that the only time I ever thought about any kind of tier concept was during recruitment week. It seems to matter a lot then, but it isn't important after that at all. So, I can't say that being in a sorority that others on my campus may have described as less-desirable made my sorority experience different at all. In fact, it probably kept me grounded.
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