Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[DaemonSeid]

please put your wig back on....

[tnxbutterfly]

You know you lied to me. You know it and I know it. You're just mad because I won't finish the training. You know good and well that's not the amount we settled on when I took this job. I don't know what you were smoking when you did my check. And you thought a cute little face would keep me from going off. Keep messing with me. I left you once. Don't think I won't do it again

[nikki1920]

I'mma need you to grow some ovaries and start being a manager in here. Your entire staff thinks you are a JOKE.

[OneTimeSBX]

keep it up. i will go home and take my ring of keys with me. and you KNOW i have the only copies of the ones that go to half the building. dont make me take a drive down to the river and chuck them in...

[skylark]

"Stop looking at my computer screen every other minute. Yes, I'm on that "stupid" forum website again... Don't you think it takes more effort for you to constantly be trying to figure out if I'm working than it takes for me to take a 5 minute break from my work every hour or two?"

[aephi alum]

You have some balls, rolling in to the office at lunchtime on a daily basis. Our boss has called you on it. HIS boss has called you on it. Did you maybe forget it's employee review season???

[AOIIBrandi]

You're a temp, you don't get paid if you don't work. I'm sorry (maybe not) you didn't get paid for a day this week - you were scheduled to work (for double time I might add). You were the one who called me and asked to go home, then you lied to me when I asked what the customer contract said about coverage for the day. Well we both know you lied to me, and so does upper management, so that e-mail you sent trying to throw me under the bus isn't going to work out so well for you in the end.

[nikki1920]

Unlike some of you, I have a job. A demanding one. If you walk in here unannounced and without an appointment, do not get an attitude because you have to wait over an hour to be seen. That is what appointments are for. I have 500 people to deal with so sitcho arse down and STFU and quit complaining.......



Is 30 too young to be burned out?

[sageofages]

Right, after I have MENTALLY quit, NOW you start giving me interesting sorts of things to do...........

I am still leaving...just have to plot the right time. Damn it, I know I will back next week...but maybe then...you will push me over the edge.

[SWTXBelle]

You are a sneaky, ego-obsessed bastard - I don't care how much money you have. I am just waiting for the opportunity to put you in your place, and don't think I won't. I'm just glad I no longer have to pretend you are my intellectual equal.

[AGDLynn]

You don't know that I already know that. I just haven't decided to let you know that I know.

[IHPiPrez]

To my co-worker who spends 90% of his time sending lengthy emails to our boss explaining how his latest assignment is outside the scope of his job description:

Someday the boss is going to do the math and realize you are only spending 10% of your time working and decide he can do without you 100% of the time.

Think about it.

[chitownxo]

Yes, Ms. Customer, we do realize it's only September, and, yes we do know Christmas isn't until December. We put our Christmas displays up now because our corporate office tells us to. You are under no obligation to buy anything, so feel free to purchase the 10 ornaments in your hand, and walk past the displays without purchasing anything. I really could care less. Oh, and could you do me another favor? Could you tell your child to stop climbing the Christmas tree? If he falls, I will laugh very hard, and try to get a copy of the security tape to post on you tube.

[Scandia]

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

Fix the bathrooms already.

Fix the computers already.

Kick out those vagrants already.

Do NOT change the Sunday hours.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

[IHPiPrez]

10 things I Hate about Managing “Generation ME” (Employees in their 20s and 30s)

10. Could you like ever like utter a like complete sentence without like the word like in it? I sincerely doubt it.

9. Please stop treating your job as something you do in your spare time at work when you’re not on your cell phone, YouTube or some other internet site. These are PERSONAL time activities. And NO, since you are not an hourly employee, you do not get a break every hour to catch up on what your friends have posted on your Facebook Wall.

8. I really don’t care that you have an MBA from one if the top 10 programs in the country. So do I and in addition I have a brain and know how to use it. And NO, you are not actually intellectually or morally superior because you were born and raised above the Mason-Dixon Line. But, if it makes you feel special, you go ahead and believe it, bless your heart.

7. Your cat is not a child. It is an animal. Just because he/she was hacking up yet another hairball doesn’t mean you can claim the day you took off was a “Sick Day” to care for a family member. Get over it.

6. I don’t care how much money and pain were involved in getting that tattoo. I don’t care that it’s a tribute to your BFF who died due to an overdose at a really “wicked” party. Company policy states that they must be covered at work. I don’t write em, but unfortunately I do have to enforce them. If it is that insulting to you and “violates” your right to “express yourself”, I would suggest you explore careers and companies that are more tattoo friendly.

5. Please do something about your child care arrangements. Kids get sick, daycares have days they are closed, and your best friends sisters next door neighbors step mom will want a vacation now and again. Work on a little something I like to call Plan B. And NO, Plan B does not EVER consist of bringing your kid to work. It’s not fair to your kid much less your co-workers.

4. No, I will not cosign for anything EVER.

3. Yes, I agree that men can be pigs and it is never polite to talk to women’s breasts instead of to her. However, I would suggest that your choice of a Victoria’s Secret Push-Up bra and the skimpiest top in North America MAY be contributing to your issue. I know. It’s that pesky cause and effect thing again.

2. If you are looking for tea and sympathy about your recent fight/breakup with your BFF, boyfriend, girlfriend or life partner, please call your Mom. I am NOT her.

1. No, the Earth actually revolves around the Sun not around you.