Disaffiliating?

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by katie4480

Most girls knew several other girls in the PC, and I've found it very hard to make friends.......

It's gotten to the point where it's so uncomfortable to be there that I just want to disaffiliate. ...I just feel so sad knowing I have all these events (chapter, socials, recruitment meetings) to go to and have no one to go with and just have to sit by myself until all the chairs fill up and someone has to sit with me. ... I just can't seem to break into any of the circles or get more than a "hey."

First of all, Katie4480, I am so sorry you feel physically unwell, and as a result, distant and/or excluded from your chapter. College academics plus physical issues, plus adjustment to a large sorority equals a lot on your plate right now.

Only you can decide if you should sever your ties with the group, but I would encourage you to stick it out for a while longer. Your membership is for life, and many of us have found alumni membership very fulfilling--you would be giving that option up as well if you disaffiliate.

With such large pledge classes, the make up, atmosphere and corporate personality of a sorority changes with each year and each new member class. You may find that recruitment brings so many new opportunities for you in the coming year. Look upon recruitment as an opportunity to seek out sisters you will enjoy working with and sharing your life with. It is not uncommon for women to find their closest sisters, not in the classes above them, or even in their own pledge class (sorry the new terminology is hard for me to incorporate!) but in the groups yet to come.

Think of it this way--your experience will make you extremely sensitive to the new members coming in who may feel a bit overwhelmed, lonely, or "on the outside" after recruitment is over.

Your experience may make you the best big sis in the house next year, and you may find that your whole experience of the chapter changes. In my house, it was a funny thing.... it seemed that freshmen and juniors were always particularly close.... There was something about that two year age gap that just clicked with many of us, both up and down the ranks and I have so many great memories, not only of my friendships with the women older than I was, but most especially with the women I helped rush, educate and assimilate into the group.

Good luck! I'll be pulling for you.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

It is not uncommon for women to find their closest sisters, not in the classes above them, or even in their own pledge class ... but in the groups yet to come.

So true! I was actually closest with my family and the younger pledge classes instead of my own pledge class. New members will definitely be responsive to someone who reaches out to them. Like others have said, you're going to feel isolated until you put out the effort, and it will be like that if it is a club, intramural team, religious group, whatever. There is still so much more potential for you to really be happy in your chapter, but remember you have to keep trying. Also, I like the idea of saying something at chapter meeting so that your sisters understand your situation.