psprincess' rush!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by psprincess

I forgot....I got my invites for the next set of parties. I will be going back to Marsaili, Roger, Jemmy, and Rollo. I am so annoyed that I keep getting asked back to Rollo and Jemmy. If it comes down to the two of them on pref night, I know I will drop. I just can't see myself being happy in either place. I'll let you ponder this until I post the next round of parties.

Go to prefs and see, even if those are your only two options.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Go to prefs and see, even if those are your only two options.

But more importantly, be excited and focus on this round!

[AOII Angel]

Don't count Rollo out just because you don't get along with 2 of the members. Each chapter is filled with so many women that no matter where you end up, there will be sisters that you don't particularly like. There is no way to like every single person, personalities are just too varied. Those 2 may be completely different then the rest of the chapter, not to mention those 2 may not feel the same about you as you do about them!

[BetteDavisEyes]

To play devils advocate here, if she really does not feel like she would belong in either Rollo or Jemmy, then she should drop and save that spot for a girl who really does want to be a sister of Rollo or Jemmy. If she's just not feeling like it's the place for her, why force it?

[gphiangel624]

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

To play devils advocate here, if she really does not feel like she would belong in either Rollo or Jemmy, then she should drop and save that spot for a girl who really does want to be a sister of Rollo or Jemmy. If she's just not feeling like it's the place for her, why force it?

I'm mostly with this argument. Why not attend all the parties to which you're invited and then, after preference, if you aren't thrilled with any chapter, neglect to sign a preference card? Then you'll at least have given each chapter a shot and ridden out the process to see if it was right for you.

[AOII Angel]

I'll play devil's advocate for the other side. Why not give it a chance? I think the view of sororities during recruitment is very artificial and false. Seeing a group of girls in what is often an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved does not give you an idea of whether or not you will be comfortable there. Unless you are turned off by the size of the chapter or the reputation of the chapter, which let's face it, cannot sometimes be overlooked, you would most probably be comfortable anywhere if you gave it a chance. You can't possibly know you wouldn't fit it by meeting a handful of members in a chapter with 50 or more members. Not every girl in a group is the same so chances are you'd bond after bid day when you got to know girls you didn't meet in recruitment. That's what the new member period is for anyway! That is why there are women all over GC who say they pledged a group they had no interest in during rush but quickly decided they loved it after bid day.

[BetteDavisEyes]

But for every girl who pledged a group that wasn't her #1 choice and ended up loving it, there's also a girl who pledged a group she didn't care for just so she could be in a sorority. That same girl is unhappy and ends up withdrawing thus, taking up a spot that could have been given to a girl who would have given her time and effort to the sorority instead of someone who attends events just because they were mandatory.

[psprincess]

I've actually thought a lot about it since yesterday. I will go all the way through preference night, no matter what, (because that is what my lovely GCers have taught me), but based on what I have seen and felt until this point, if it were to come down to Jemmy or Rollo, I don't know if I would sign a pref card. I want to be somewhere I really feel like I belong, not somewhere just because I really wanted to be in a sorority. I know that I would be ecstatic to be in Roger or Marsaili, though, so I am hoping for the best. I do have an open mind about the whole thing now more, though.

[lauralaylin]

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

But for every girl who pledged a group that wasn't her #1 choice and ended up loving it, there's also a girl who pledged a group she didn't care for just so she could be in a sorority. That same girl is unhappy and ends up withdrawing thus, taking up a spot that could have been given to a girl who would have given her time and effort to the sorority instead of someone who attends events just because they were mandatory.

But I don't believe anyone is telling her to join no matter what or even to sign her pref card. If she goes to pref at whatever parties she is invited to and then doesn't sign a pref card, she isn't taking the spot from anyone.

I hope you get the invites you want psprincess!

[SWTXBelle]

I think a pnm should give a chapter which is interested in her every chance to convince her that she would be happy there. If she still - after pref - isn't feeling at home, then no, she should not put them on her bid card.

[andrea981]

I agree with some of the posters -- don't put a group on your bid card if you're going to be that disappointed about it. I don't think we're talking here about a girl who just wants her #1 sorority and won't settle for anything else. It seems as if Jemmy and Rollo have made negative impressions on princess from the beginning. Speaking from someone in a consistently lower-ranked sorority, while we certainly tried to do everything we could to make women feel chosen and welcome on bid day, one year we had a girl sobbing at bid day and she left early and never came to another meeting. Most of us members kind of had the reaction of like, why did you put us down if you thought we were something you had to cry about? Why show up once you saw that we were matched with you? She honestly nearly ruined bid day for the other girls that were there -- many of whom ranked our chapter #1 and started to have doubts as to their decision to do so if our chapter seemed that bad to the crying girl. Needless to say -- while I am all for maximizing options and giving every group the chance to show you who they are -- if you feel like the "crying girl" then just don't put them on a bid card. You're not doing them a favor -- trust me.

[Cane94G8r97]

Thanks for sharing your story, psprincess.

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders! I can't wait to read what happens next.

Good luck!