Here's the scenario

[AKA_Monet]

PB-

I think the 1st scenario is quite far-fetched if one has been committed to another for a long time. They should know something about each other by the time the ask has been given. Moreover, the friend who becomes best man/maid of honor should be a "friend" enough to tell the lowdown if they say they are the friend. I know truth can be stranger than fiction, so your account may be really happening, and I also think that there are other issues in the relationship that this particular couple needs to resolve besides past failed relationships.

The 2nd scenario--my husband invited his X (whatever) to our formal ceremony. But homegirl did not know where our location was and decided to not attend, although it stated that information on the invitation. I found out when homegirl called my mother who started asking questions because she acted extremely ghetto...

I don't have any suggestions regarding this scenario.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

PB-

I think the 1st scenario is quite far-fetched if one has been committed to another for a long time. They should know something about each other by the time the ask has been given. Moreover, the friend who becomes best man/maid of honor should be a "friend" enough to tell the lowdown if they say they are the friend. I know truth can be stranger than fiction, so your account may be really happening, and I also think that there are other issues in the relationship that this particular couple needs to resolve besides past failed relationships.

The 2nd scenario--my husband invited his X (whatever) to our formal ceremony. But homegirl did not know where our location was and decided to not attend, although it stated that information on the invitation. I found out when homegirl called my mother who started asking questions because she acted extremely ghetto...

I don't have any suggestions regarding this scenario.

See this is why I think it's just better to leave x lovers out of the picture period. It just causes problems.

[Sugar08]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

PB-

I think the 1st scenario is quite far-fetched if one has been committed to another for a long time. They should know something about each other by the time the ask has been given.

I have to agree with Soror AKA_Monet on this. At the point that a wedding is occurring, former relationships should be completely irrelevant. The problem in scenario 1 isn't that something happened between your intended and your best man, the problem is that you never knew about it. Now, the fault can fall on either party: you if you never thought to ask, or your intended if s/he never fully disclosed all previous entanglements after you asked. If it's the latter, marriage probably isn't the best idea.

In scenario two, I have to repeat that former romantic relationships are irrelevant if you're marrying the person. You're both committed, and you should have no doubt about that. If the ex and your intended are still friends (i.e. they speak frequently and have mutual friends), then an invitation is only polite, if not expected. If this ex is a person they haven't spoken to in ages... uh, no. I can't imagine not inviting an ex to a wedding... if they are happy for my intended, then by all means, welcome. If they plan on being trifling... well, they'll get shut down.