2007 Thread for Moms of PNMs!

carnation · #1 08-12-2007, 09:47 PM

Okay, as the first mom to report in: my 6th daughter rushed this past week, got a great bid, and is very tired and happy today. As usual, rush was a mixed bag;some good things and some not so good.

Her recruitment counselor told them that they had to go to 2 prefs if invited. I don't believe that can be enforced because they would then be penalized if they suicided. So then their RC told them they couldn't suicide at all. Definitely wrong! Although it didn't hurt my daughter, I have to wonder how many women it could have affected.

shadden · #2 08-12-2007, 10:02 PM

A friend's daughter just rushed at GSU, and was told that she couldn't suicide a particular group. She had friends who suicided and got the sorority they wanted, but she got her second choice. She is going through with pledging, but was very disappointed - she felt that if she had suicided and did not get in she could have rushed later in the year.
My daughter is going through rush at UGA, so I am anxious to hear her round 2 invites tomorrow morning.

UGAMOM01 · #3 08-13-2007, 03:08 PM

I have a daughter at UGA going through Rush this week. Despite the incredible heat in Athens, seems like everything has been going well for her.

Did you send gifts to your daughters after commitment day? If so, what are some ideas? Any particular web site that delivers gift baskets with sorority para?

houstonchica · #4 08-13-2007, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAMOM01

Did you send gifts to your daughters after commitment day? If so, what are some ideas? Any particular web site that delivers gift baskets with sorority para?

www.bulldogbaskets.com

This company is based in Athens and they have been in business for several years.

UW Husky mom · #5 09-16-2007, 02:01 AM

Bid day is tomorrow for my daughter at UW. I am planning on sending her flowers at her new house...is that a good idea or shoud it be something else? Does anyone know of a good source in Seattle?

deadbear80 · #6 09-16-2007, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UW Husky mom

Bid day is tomorrow for my daughter at UW. I am planning on sending her flowers at her new house...is that a good idea or shoud it be something else? Does anyone know of a good source in Seattle?

When I pledged Delta Gamma, my Mom sent me cream colored roses (and had the florist put bronze, pink, and blue ribbons on the vase!) and did the same for my Kappa Kappa Gamma roommate. We both thought it was awesome (and a lot of girls on our freshman floor from various chapters were jealous!) and it's a great way to show your daughter that you're proud of her.

I think it touched me a lot also because I did not join the chapter I was a legacy at and it showed me how happy my Mom was for me anyway.

FSUZeta · #7 08-13-2007, 03:40 PM

last year when my daughter pledged, we sent her flowers-not white violets, because they are nigh impossible to find-but white flowers with grey and turquiose ribbon.flowers delivered to the house always seem to make an impression on the new member and the initiated sisters!

when we attended parents weekend a week after bid day, we brought a zta frame for her. i also gave her several gifts for her initation. even though i attended her initiation, i shipped the gifts. enjoy shopping for your daughter!

FSUZeta · #8 08-13-2007, 03:46 PM

dear clueless-8 to 10 invitations on 12 party day is good. for any pnm , not receiving any invitations is always a possibility, on any day-we can't give you odds. the best advice i know to share, is for your daughter to maximize her options and accept all invitations that she can.

sororities are not allowed to extend bids prior to formal fall recruitment. if a pnm believes that she has been extended a bid during the summer, she may be very disappointed when the actual bids come out on bid day in the fall.

fraternities operate under totally different rules and at some schools it is okay to extend bids to men in the summer.

Mama Dawg · #9 08-13-2007, 08:55 PM

COB is the continuous open bidding....that was my question, too. Suiciding is attending the Preferentials round and then putting only one top choice....again, not in the PNMs best interest. Rank as many as you are invited to attend.

I'm still getting clarification on numbers of call backs, too. However, a good way to look at this is that if you didn't attend 12 events today, you didn't get as hot, tired and sweaty (and perhaps overwhelmed) and maybe were able to put your better, cooler, fresher foot forward. Also, perhaps you were able to better narrow down the sorority that fits you.

NUBlue&Blue · #10 08-13-2007, 09:57 PM

All of her friends will be done by the time my daughter starts recruitment at "an undisclosed location" on Saturday. There will be four girls from their high school going through together. Three of them ended up on the same dorm floor (this happened to my older daughter--the only 4 girls from our high school all ended up on the same floor!) My daughter lives in a different dorm and her roommate is also going through recruitment.

She is excited, we have everything ready to go after getting the stamp of approval from her older sister.

AChiOhSnap · #11 08-13-2007, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Dawg

I'm still getting clarification on numbers of call backs, too. However, a good way to look at this is that if you didn't attend 12 events today, you didn't get as hot, tired and sweaty (and perhaps overwhelmed) and maybe were able to put your better, cooler, fresher foot forward. Also, perhaps you were able to better narrow down the sorority that fits you.

Good perspective. It's always tough to receive heavy cuts in the first few rounds, but in some ways, I think it can really help a PNM sort out how she feels about the remaining sororities. It's been a mantra on here, but we all know "it only takes one." If you've found the sorority that you love and that loves you right back, it won't matter if you had the pick of the pack or been cut by nearly everyone.

UGAalum94 · #12 08-12-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

Her recruitment counselor told them that they had to go to 2 prefs if invited. I don't believe that can be enforced because they would then be penalized if they suicided. So then their RC told them they couldn't suicide at all. Definitely wrong! Although it didn't hurt my daughter, I have to wonder how many women it could have affected.

I understood that not going to the max number of prefs or not listing all the parties that you preffed would be treated the same way: not maximizing options. So you couldn't be a quota addition, but that you could be snap bid or COBed. Is that not how you understood it?

carnation · #13 08-12-2007, 10:12 PM

Well, if they'd suicided but not gotten a bid, they still could have COBed, just not received a snap bid, I believe.

UGAalum94 · #14 08-12-2007, 10:17 PM

It wouldn't make much sense to have different outcomes for a girl who didn't attend the max pref or didn't list all the groups, to me anyway. Either way, they declined the interest of one group. I don't think either one should be penalized, unless not being eligible for QA is a penalty.

jwright25 · #15 08-12-2007, 10:55 PM

The rule about being forced to ATTEND Preference parties is a campus-to-campus thing. For instance, one campus that I work with has the rule that if you do not attend all parties to which you are invited, you will be released from recruitment by Panhellenic. ** I should note that the NPC MOI does state that the quota additions process should not include those women who failed to attend events for which there was room on their schedules. Not a unanimous agreement, but still a strong recommendation. So some campuses can choose to boot PNMs altogether for skipping parties unexcused, but others would just exclude them from QA.

However, no campus can force a potential member to RANK all chapters that they preffed. The only "penalty" or consequence of suiciding (intentional single preference) is the risk of not getting matched through regular matching or quota additions.

As an example: Many many campuses are now using ICS for recruitment (fabulous). ICS keeps track of all parties that PNMs are invited to and that appear on their schedules. If a PNM is invited to two preference parties, but only physically attends one and then ranks only one, ICS still shows her as a non-maximizing PNM. It shows that she received two invitations and therefore should rank two chapters. If a PNM receives only one preference invitation and then attends and ranks only one, she shows as a PNM who maximized.

So when we are assigning quota additions, we look only at those who maximized their options but remained unmatched. The non-maximizing are immediately set aside. While a woman who ISP'ed and didn't match is ineligible for QA, she is eligible for snap bidding - though chances are good that she will not accept the snap bid since she already indicated that she would accept a membership invitation from only chapter.