Legacy Situation

Sailboat Sis · #1 07-31-2007, 03:38 PM

Do you have a unique last name? If for instance your last name is something generic like 'Smith' or 'Brown,' other sororities may not realize you are so-and-so's sister in ABC. You also included that you are at a large school so that may go unnoticed.

This past year we had a few girls come through recruitment who were big time legacies (i.e. third generation from the school's chapter) and a few girls who had siblings in other houses. Several of these girls told us that they wanted to be given a fair chance and that they were not committed to joining the house(s) they were legacies at. I'd say it was 50/50 with these girls in terms of joining their legacy house.

I don't think it would hurt to be open about your concerns. Express how excited you are about seeing what each house is like and really wanting to find your perfect fit.

WVU alpha phi · #2 07-31-2007, 04:03 PM

My chapter dealt with this situation several times. I think it's best if a PNM brings it up first in early rounds like, "My sister is a member of ABC, but she isn't pressuring me to join there and wants me to find the chapter that's best for me." You're right about some sororities wanting to "steal" legacies, and you're right that some may write you off because your sister is an active member of ABC. When I came across this situation as a sister, I'd often make a note that you were a legacy of ABC but not "sold" on their chapter. Good luck!

adpiucf · #3 07-31-2007, 04:10 PM

The year I was a PX, my friend Carrie went through rush when her sister Amy was already a member of our chapter. Ours is a very friendly Greek Community, and three of Amy's best friends were members of Tri-Delta and KD. They knew Carrie really well and were respected members of their sororities. And Carrie was adamant about not joining her "sister's sorority."

Despite this, and despite the friends pulling for her at their respective sororities, Carrie still got dropped by nearly every chapter after the first round. I probably heard a lot of MS details I wasn't supposed to know following Bid Day, but the girls were upset about how it all went down.

The story has a happy ending. Carrie fell in love with ADPi during recruitment week... and right before prefs she was sobbing hysterically on my shoulder because she was afraid she wouldn't receive a bid from ADPi!

And of course, she did end up becoming an ADPi and a very active sister, at that! So all's well that ends well.

My point is: Keep an open mind to your sister's sorority, along with all of the chapters at your school. You may want to do your own thing. But circumstances may bring you closer and you'll realize it would have been the right choice for you all along, regardless of your sister's involvement.

ETA: We all talk about the varying competitiveness and prestige of trying to "steal" someone else's legacy. But the rules of engagement start to change when the legacy sister is a curerent, active collegiate member at the same school during recruitment! Then it becomes very dismissive because it is implied that the PNM will go to her sister's house. I can't recall a single time when a legacy didn't pledge where her sister was a current chapter member. The only times two siblings wouldn't necessarily pledge the same chapter would be if they were twins rushing the same year, or if the legacy sister was no longer active at the chapter (alum).

jaade124 · #4 07-31-2007, 05:10 PM

This happened to my chapter this past Spring. We had a girl going through recruitment whos sister was currently an active sister in sorority XYZ...we were a little leary of her but she seemed to really like us. She kept coming back, telling Rho Chis how much she loved us, she even put us first in her rank list! Again we weren't sure about her but we extended her a bid because we really did love her and she ended up accepting it!

I think you just have to be open and say "yes my sister is a member of this but I would like to experience this for myself and find a place where I fit in and feel comfortable" and if you really like one group, really express your interest! They'll at least see you're interested and take that into account.

violetpretty · #5 07-31-2007, 06:03 PM

My school is large somewhat competitive (but not SEC competitive). Legacies occassionally get cut, depending on how competitive a particular chapter is, but there are never so many legacies that there are more than quota (usually no more than 6-8 per chapter). I was a Rho Gamma this past spring and I had three PNMs in my group who were "in house" legacies, just like you.

One of them, we'll call her Alissa, wanted her sister's chapter, and she got a bid there. Alissa had a pretty good choice of chapters come skit round and got her top 3 for preference. I should mention that although she got her top three, they are not the most competitive chapters on campus. They were chapters that compete the most with her legacy chapter, so it is safe to say that Alissa did not get cut because other chapters assumed that she was going elsewhere.

The second, we'll call her Ariel, did not want her sister's chapter. She wanted Alissa's legacy chapter and they both pledged that chapter. She did end up preffing her own legacy chapter, the one the pledged, and one other (she got 2 of her top 3). Ariel did get cut by one of the chapters that frequently competes with her legacy chapter, but I can't say for sure whether it was because they thought she was going elsewhere or just because they didn't think she would fit.

The third one, we'll call her Julie, wanted her sister's chapter, which is one of the most competitive on campus. She did end up pledging there, but the other two chapters that she preffed were waaaayyy random. Julie was cut by some of the other competitive chapters, but I can't say for sure the reasoning because obviously I don't know about their MS, but I can speculate that her legacy status did have something to do with her being cut by some chapters.

You might have some trouble getting cut more than you would if you were not a legacy. Members of other chapters might assume that you want your sister's chapter because you said it is one of the more competitive ones. People tend to assume that PNMs will pick the most competitive chapter that they can get into, which is not necessarily the case. The most competitive chapters will have to make their biggest cuts in the beginning of recruitment, and when a chapter has to cut so many women, they are looking for a reason, any reason, to cut a girl, even though they only have had 20 minutes-ish to get to know each PNM.

You won't be able to hide the fact that you are a legacy, so you might as well bring it up and make it crystal clear that you are not sure if you fit in to your sister's chapter, and show genuine interest at all parties. Even then, you still might get cut by many chapters. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!

PGD-GRAD · #6 07-31-2007, 04:06 PM

Another take on whether or not to put down legacies is the way a PNM is dealt with during rush. When you know that someone comes from a Greek family, your discussion takes a different tone. You know that they already come from a family who knows and understands the Greek system; you don't need to spend time explaining all that. Knowing they already have a point of reference on that opens up new avenues of discussion.

Also, if there is nothing down on the rush sheet, the question may come up: do you have any relatives who are in fraternities or sororities? Then do you lie, name only a few, or what? I see both sides of the issue. Some groups may cut the person, figuring he/she might just be a waste of time. But, some groups like PNMs who already have "Greek heritage" in their blood, whatever national.

You have to figure, also, at least with the chapter I advise, they like the "challenge" of rushing someone who is a leg. to another chapter on campus. That makes them work harder to try to impress the person and maybe win him away from his legacy group. Guys just often look at it as a competition which, in most regards, it is! Perhaps sororities are the same; I guess it just depends on the group.

The PNM should know not the DWELL on his or her legacy; that could be the kiss of death. Simply acknowledge it and maybe say, "Yes, my mom is a ____ from State, and that is part of the reason I am going through formal rush. She loved her Greek experience, and I'm hoping to find a home here that I will enjoy as much."