Is it time to change who we think of as legacies?

[adpiucf]

I'm glad your daughter had a great sorority experience.

Her story has a happy ending! But... there is no proof from this account that she was cut from her legacy due to her geographic location, or that the fact that she was a legacy was kept from the chapter members and their advisers. Finding a packet of recommendations in the kitchen could be anything-- copies, etc. Even without national consultants visiting a chapter, there are still advisers and behind-the-scenes work being done to process all paperwork that comes in. Tensions run high at recruitment on all sides.

Chapters receive consultant visits throughout the year-- it may have been requested that this consultant observe recruitment, but it may or may not have had anything to do with them not following the legacy policy for the sorority or purposely mishandling paperwork.

I can understand your family being hurt over your daughter being cut, with or without your wife's strong sorority involvement. You raised a great kid, though, who went on to have an amazing experience with Kappa, and I'm glad she found a sorority that was a good fit for her.

And yes, "fit" is a word we throw around, but at the end of the day-- if you compared about 100 applications of your average PNM-- they all look the same. Great grades, accomplishments, recommendations-- determining if the PNM fits well with the chapter's local culture is often the only tie-breaker. It's not the most measurable quality, but just as in a job, you don't necessarily need the best man for the job, you need the man (or woman) who is reasonably well-qualified and is going to mesh well with the exisiting members of the team.

ETA: All this legacy talk has reinforced within in me that if I ever have a daughter considering sorority recruitment where this a chapter of ADPi, even my own alma mater, I will be sure to lay out to her that I'd be delighted if she and ADPi find a connection with one another, but I want her go into recruitment with the same open mind I was allowed to have. And to make the decisions that benefit her.