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[navane]

Heather,

I think I can relate a bit to what you said. As an academic adviser, I am constantly having to deal with parents who phone me up on behalf of their students. Phoning in to ask a basic question for one's own understanding isn't so bad...but calling in more than once a day, at 30+ minutes each, to obsess over your son's class schedule is out of order. These women (and it's usually women) just can't let go and they want to do everything for their college-aged children.

I recently came across an internet forum for parents whose kids are leaving for college and I nearly gagged when I read some of the postings. One mom posted her worries about her daughter who was on academic probabtion and who had to make a visit the assistant dean. She posted to ask if perhaps she should be following up because she wasn't confident her daughter had written everything down. The people responding were like, "Oh, definitely, you should call the assistant dean and check on her status *everyday*. Make sure you ask the dean about her GPA and what she can do to improve it. If they don't give you the answers you want, keep calling."

I wanted to pull my hair out and kick some of these people. I'm sure they're well-meaning, but no...the dean does NOT want to hear from your mommy and it's ILLEGAL for the dean to break privacy laws regarding your GPA.

If some of those parents posted their ridiculousness on GC, I know they would get a quick lesson in, "Sit down, shut up and let your adult children take care of themselves." Sometimes GC is too harsh and sometimes it provides that awesome reality check.

.....Kelly

[SWTXBelle]

LOL - when I was teaching college I cannot tell you how many parents were INCENSED when I wouldn't discuss their children's grades with them.
"But I pay the bills!" was their anguished cry. "Yes, I understand, but the federal government regards your child as an adult, and I am not allowed to violate his/her privacy by discussing this with you. Might I suggest you talk to your child?"

[carnation]

We know a woman who called her daughter's calculus professor at UGA and screamed at him when her kid made a D. As a professor, I've never gotten a call of complaint from a parent and I'm sure I'll be if I ever do!

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by navane

Heather,

I think I can relate a bit to what you said. As an academic adviser, I am constantly having to deal with parents who phone me up on behalf of their students. Phoning in to ask a basic question for one's own understanding isn't so bad...but calling in more than once a day, at 30+ minutes each, to obsess over your son's class schedule is out of order. These women (and it's usually women) just can't let go and they want to do everything for their college-aged children.
.....Kelly

i swear, do you work with me???

unless your child is still in high school and enrolling, or you are signing financial aid papers, you have no business as a parent involved in anything college related!!!

i work for a small technical college and it is the same thing over and over again. your child is an adult. get a hobby!!

[Dionysus]

It's the kids fault too. Why do they tell their parents everything at that age? I have those kind of parents. They know very little about my life because of that reason.

[ForeverRoses]

I agree that parents are way too involved once a kid leaves for college. My old roommate's Mom would call at least once a day to check on her daughter. And God Forbid if she was not called back. She once even drove the 4.5 hours to school to check on her daughter when she wasn't called back for 2 days.

However I think sometimes the colleges play a right into the parents hands. I know at my alma mater, the school started notifying parents if their children were found to have drugs or alcohol if under 21. If the school can't tell the parents their children's grades, why can they notify them of disciplinary action? (actually I think all students sign a waver to allow it, but you don't have a choice).

[AlphaFrog]

Drugs and alcohol under 21 would be a legal matter, and would become public record (if arrested). If the school is notifying the parents without an actual arrest, then that's ridiculous.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Drugs and alcohol under 21 would be a legal matter, and would become public record (if arrested). If the school is notifying the parents without an actual arrest, then that's ridiculous.

It is without an arrest, they notify the parents that their kids are going before the judicial review board (basically an internal student court). The review board can vote to suspend, expell, or put the student on probation depending on the activity.

Usually only the most serious offences are sent to the real cops (such as drug dealing, manufacturing fake IDs, etc). But if you were caught with beer in your fridge during a room inspection, then you were written up, sent to Judicial review, and Mommy and Daddy recieved a letter stating that Johnny or Suzy had been very very bad.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

It is without an arrest, they notify the parents that their kids are going before the judicial review board (basically an internal student court). The review board can vote to suspend, expell, or put the student on probation depending on the activity.

Usually only the most serious offences are sent to the real cops (such as drug dealing, manufacturing fake IDs, etc). But if you were caught with beer in your fridge during a room inspection, then you were written up, sent to Judicial review, and Mommy and Daddy recieved a letter stating that Johnny or Suzy had been very very bad.

Had I been the kid who got in trouble (not me I was a saint) the first thing I would have done would be to change the mailing address listed under my contact information. Most of the time these days you can do it online anyway.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I agree that parents are way too involved once a kid leaves for college. My old roommate's Mom would call at least once a day to check on her daughter. And God Forbid if she was not called back. She once even drove the 4.5 hours to school to check on her daughter when she wasn't called back for 2 days.

i can understand if you are from Small Town, Montana going to school in NYC...i would check on my child a few days a week too, just an email or text message would do. its funny, whenever you hear about someone who disappears from a campus, the parents are always the first to know something is up because "Karen calls everyday, but she didn't call us yesterday..." i talk to my mom everyday and i live a block away from her. we dont have that type of relationship where we HAVE to talk all the time, but we always speak just because. she isnt coming to my house or my job looking for me.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i can understand if you are from Small Town, Montana going to school in NYC...i would check on my child a few days a week too, just an email or text message would do. its funny, whenever you hear about someone who disappears from a campus, the parents are always the first to know something is up because "Karen calls everyday, but she didn't call us yesterday..." i talk to my mom everyday and i live a block away from her. we dont have that type of relationship where we HAVE to talk all the time, but we always speak just because. she isnt coming to my house or my job looking for me.

or as i like to call it: "The NYU Story: A day in the life of an NYU RA"

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by tld221

or as i like to call it: "The NYU Story: A day in the life of an NYU RA"

It's also how a lot of Law & Order episodes start out. Except in all of those, the victims always go to Hudson University, not NYU.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by tld221

or as i like to call it: "The NYU Story: A day in the life of an NYU RA"

i would be the one to say "mr & mrs smith, karen is sooo alright. she's dating this sk8r boi from a fraternity, and i think he took her today on the back of his harley to get matching tattoos. they are soo cute since they got their hair dyed that matching pink!! hello? hello?"