My not-so-perfect rush story

[LOVEinZTA]

Just a few points to make before I write up some more

[LOVEinZTA]

Getting to know you...

[ZTA72]

oh my goodness, what a wonderful sister you are. My daughters were telling me about some affiliates at their chapter and it just broke my heart what they had to go through.
Thank you for this wonderful thread.
Zeta love,
ZTA72

[Katmandu]

LOVEinZTA, what a delightful story all the way around! You are an amazing young lady, and Zeta is lucky to count you among the crowned. I found your affiliation story as interesting as your rush story.

When I was a collegiate, we had one sister affiliate from another in-state university when she changed majors. It was pretty rare, (the only one in about ten years, I believe) and very low key. She came to dinner twice, chapter twice, we loved her, and voted to affiliate her. I think most of us were shocked that we actually had the option to say "yes" or "no", and I don't think it would have occurred to any of us to deny her active status. She affiliated during her Jr. year and she became one of my very close friends during senior year.

I can't imagine going through such an extended process, but people transfer schools more now than they did back then--witness 11 sisters affiliating in one year!

Thanks for sharing your story. I absolutely loved it and what a wise lesson for anyone who transfers and wishes to affiliate. (lots of lessons for the chapters as well).

[FSUZeta]

you know, i had a similar experience when i moved to tulsa, ok and tried to get involved with the alumnae chapter. i spent a good deal of the meeting sitting by myself while everyone around me visited with each other. most of the members had gone to the same college and actually lived in the chapter house at the same time. i left feeling very dejected and decided not to go back to another meeting.

after a few more years, i decided to give the alumnae chapter one more try, but this time around i decided to "rush" the members instead of waiting for them to come talk to me. it wasn't easy, but it helped me get to know some wonderful women and i ended up serving as president of that alumnae chapter. i also vowed to myself that if a new member showed up, i would make sure that she did not have the same initial experience that i did.

loveinZTA, i am so glad that you too took the more difficult road and did not give up-which would have been the easy thing to do. we can all learn from your experience and make sure our sisters, whether we are ztas, xyzs or abcs, feel welcomed and connected.

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

you know, i had a similar experience when i moved to tulsa, ok and tried to get involved with the alumnae chapter. i spent a good deal of the meeting sitting by myself while everyone around me visited with each other. most of the members had gone to the same college and actually lived in the chapter house at the same time. i left feeling very dejected and decided not to go back to another meeting.

Oh, wow, this is my exact experience with alumni involvement--Different city, different GLO, but same impenetrable Iron Curtain. I tried three extended times over a period of 20 years to break through the wall, but finally decided the frustration-to-reward ratio was completely out of whack. I was beginning to believe that the whole, "join a national sorority--find sisterhood for a lifetime" spiel was simply recruitment myth.

The fourth time has proven to be the charm, but it took much persistence and determination on my part. I am now actively involved in the local alumni group, and like FSU Zeta and Faith4Keep, I am determined to model a welcoming spirit for anyone who ventures into the group as well as actively recruit other alums to join us.

Thanks again OP for reminding us of all of this.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by LOVEinZTA

2) About an excessive number of transfers from one school, case and point: UT Arlington. UTA is a branch/satellite/whatever you want to call it campus of UT. A couple years back the number of freshman applicants to UT rose dramatically which also occurred about the time Texas enacted the "Top 10% Law" which guaranteed a student admission to a public university of their choice in the state if he or she graduated in the top 10% of his or her class. This led to UT Austin exploding in size and not being able to handle the number of incoming freshman. They enacted the "Coordinated Admissions Program" or CAP which was offered if you weren't offered fall or summer admission to UT and meant that if you went to one of the UT branch school for a year (Arlington, El Paso, San Antonio, etc.), took certain classes, and maintained a certain GPA you would be guaranteed admission to UT Austin for your sophomore year. UTA of course has its own separate greek system. Girls in CAP would go through recruitment at UTA with the chapters knowing full well they were CAP students, take a bid to a chapter, stay a year, and then transfer to UT Austin. Of those 11 other girls I transferred in with, 7 of them were from the UTA Zeta chapter, and the pledge classes at UTA aren't that big. It really wasn't good for their chapter. As such, this past fall, the chapter at UTA didn't extend bids to nearly as many CAP students (only 1 as far as I know of is transferring in). Okay, back to story time.

To me, that sounds like the equivalent of having a chapter at a community college/2-year school. Which, and only speaking for SGRho, we don't have for reasons along what you described above.

i would think that since CAP is a transitional kind of program that they wouldnt be allowed to have a greek life. It's a strain on each GLO because of the high turnover. and if the majority of students go to one of the CAP schools with the intention of "oh, i'll just transfer to UT anyway," then its WAY better to have students just wait until they transfer their sophomore year.

then again, campus culture is key, and it seems like at UT, it's either freshman or bust because of the competitive nature. perhaps this is what adpiucf was alluding to in changing chapter culture - that the house becomes a revolving door of sorts?

i'm gonna switch lanes for a second (and feel free to tell me when to get back in mine), but i would think if the university's structure is changing, then NPC rush needs to reflect that. i know, old habits die hard, but i'd hate to know that a transferring PNMs GLO membership is good at school A but then when they get to school B it's a no-go.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

you know, i had a similar experience when i moved to tulsa, ok and tried to get involved with the alumnae chapter. i spent a good deal of the meeting sitting by myself while everyone around me visited with each other. most of the members had gone to the same college and actually lived in the chapter house at the same time. i left feeling very dejected and decided not to go back to another meeting.

Originally Posted by Katmandu

Oh, wow, this is my exact experience with alumni involvement--Different city, different GLO, but same impenetrable Iron Curtain...

The fourth time has proven to be the charm, but it took much persistence and determination on my part.

I have been a resident of 4 different states since I joined GC, and I'm glad to read these anecdotes to confirm that this issue isn't exclusive to my own sorority.

It is very challenging to join an alumnae association when you are the new kid in town and 95% of the members come from the area collegiate chapter. It can be a very exclusive group, to the point where the group is crumbling because the members themselves are not welcoming of outsiders despite efforts made to include them in events.

I think this is just the culture of women, unfortunately, and it is very hard to change people. You can change yourself, however-- and make an extra effort. If that still isn't working, then this particular alum group isn't right for you. Which is sad, but that is the reality...

Alumnae associations exist mainly to keep us tied to the sorority, but when there are no real expecations to maintain your alumnae membership, I think it is easier to be excluded or to make an excuse as to why you don't want to make the effort. I guess that is why I have started questioning women who are "pursuing AI" -- there are no expectations for membership in NPC alumnae life, whereas collegiate Greeks have to hustle, pay dues and make the min. requirements just to retain their right to claim membership.

On a happier note, the OP showed great maturity to stick it out and make friends in the new chapter. Many new members to a sorority, once initiated, drop b/c they may find themselves in this position. Congrats to both of your ZTA chapters for recruiting such a wonderful member!

[Faith4Keep]

Thank you so much for sharing this. What an important lesson for us to learn... and not just necessarily about affilliates- but ALL new members to our respective chapters. It's so important that we work like a sisterhood, and not several individual groups of friends. Most new members/affiliates are coddled and showered with gifts, but there's always a few (or more than a few) that feel so alone at events and meetings.

I definitely felt that way when I came through, I think moreso because I was a junior and because of that no one wanted me as their little. Pledge period was like a whole second recruitment to determine bigs/littles...so they just didn't talk to me. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I can't wait until recruitment in a few weeks so I can make sure ALL of our new members feel welcome and loved. If we ever get affiliates, I will make sure they feel welcome too!!