Playas till the day we die...

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

Let the chuch say, "AMEN!"

*Takes shoe off and throws it at Pastor PB!*
*High 5's Kappativating*

You better preach nikka!!!!

[OneTimeSBX]

i have no problem with the "wife submissive to her husband" rule. ooh, see that? it said WIFE! that, my friend, is where the line is. i am generally submissive as a fiancee, but not to the level i will be after we say "i do"...

my problem with the "our women" slant a few of you mentioned, is that i hear it too often. it is the answer a lot of times to the "why are you dating outside your race?" question. i dont mind interracial dating at all, mind you, but think its unfair to black women when we are stereotyped in that way. after all the oppression we, as a people, went thru together, you would think you would want a strong black woman. there are so many of "our women" who are without men and raising children for various reasons. you should support that strength in us!

we, in turn, AS WOMEN need to learn that skill of letting you all do your thing. not specifically as black women. oh, and uh, dont tell me every man is MAN ENOUGH to lead a household...hmm?

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by 357Nupe

Now I know my next statement is going to start something but here goes, It is not a woman's place(role) to tell a men she is ready to be married, now a woman can leave if she feels the relationship is going nowhere but a man will ask when he knows the relationship is ready for that step. HIM.

If you look at how marriage was setup women were not put in the finding role but in the accepting role.

[b]In conclusion when men and women understand their roles in relationships the outcome is a lot clearer and easier to obtain. We as men have forgotten our place and ladies you have decided since we can't figure it out you will take over, and sorry to say it does not work. [b]

Roles according to who? The religious right? If this works for you and your wife cool..

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Wow. A woman that wants a man to take the lead? Women usually jump down my throat for voicing my opinion on this. I think that's why the divorce rate is so high because men won't take the lead. That's Biblical. It's the man's job to take care of his wife. It's not her job to take care of him. Women aren't designed to take on the load. Women get frustrated and stressed when she feels she has to take on the load. I agree with you all the way. In a marriage a woman has the option if she wants to work or not. I know this sounds crazy but if she doesn't want to work, then the joker she's with needs to do what he's gotta do to make ends meet. Now, of course if she does want to work then that's always a blessing, but she doesn't have to. That's all I've ever seen my dad do, was lead the family. Sons are going to do what they see their fathers do. I was raised to lead. The problem is finding a woman who wants to be led. Today's women say "I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to take care of me." That's part of the problem. Any man that lets his woman lead him, in my book is one sorry poor excuse for a man.

The Bible says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. It also says submit yourselves to one another. That doesn't mean for the man to submit to her lead, it means he is to submit to her needs, and she will submit to his lead.

See, this is where I have a problem. I don’t let a book run my life. Say what you want but I know exactly why I'm single and this is the root. I'm too much of an individualist esp. when it comes to religion. I got into it yesterday on my date about this very topic. Men and women can lead each other equally but because of society rules (Christian), women feel like they have to be subservient, on all levels. Sorry, I can’t do that.

As far as Im concerned, we MUST walk side by side.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

Roles according to who? The religious right? If this works for you and your wife cool..




See, this is where I have a problem. I don’t let a book run my life. Say what you want but I know exactly why I'm single and this is the root. I'm too much of an individualist esp. when it comes to religion. I got into it yesterday on my date about this very topic. Men and women can lead each other equally but because of society rules (Christian), women feel like they have to be subservient, on all levels. Sorry, I can’t do that.

As far as Im concerned, we MUST walk side by side.

you know what, i think the problem is exactly how the family should be led by the man. my father is head of the household. did he make all the decisions by himself? no. my mother has input on every major decision. if he disagrees, nothing is done until they resolve it. that sounds 50/50, and looks that way from the outside. but we all know deep down that daddy wears the pants. its nothing that we see or hear. we just know it. the one thing we do have proof of, is him including her in decisions. i dont think hes ever made one without her, and thats the way it should be. hes more like, the speaker of the house lol

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

you know what, i think the problem is exactly how the family should be led by the man. my father is head of the household. did he make all the decisions by himself? no. my mother has input on every major decision. if he disagrees, nothing is done until they resolve it. that sounds 50/50, and looks that way from the outside. but we all know deep down that daddy wears the pants. its nothing that we see or hear. we just know it. the one thing we do have proof of, is him including her in decisions. i dont think hes ever made one without her, and thats the way it should be. hes more like, the speaker of the house lol

That worked for them however my parents did everything equally so in essence they were both head of the household. They were married for 62 years and seperated by his death. My issue is that men expect women to be strong yet subservient and LET them be in charge. Why cant both be in charge? I can not and will not let someone, esp. a man tell me how, what, when, why, where... and expect me to just go along. That's me. I will hurt a mans EGO (because that's what it really about) in a second and not think twice if he tries to "put me in my place". I've done it before and have NO problems doing it agin. My life is by MY terms and no one elses.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

That worked for them however my parents did everything equally so in essence they were both head of the household. They were married for 62 years and seperated by his death. My issue is that men expect women to be strong yet subservient and LET them be in charge. Why cant both be in charge? I can not and will not let someone, esp. a man tell me how, what, when, why, where... and expect me to just go along. That's me. I will hurt a mans EGO (because that's what it really about) in a second and not think twice if he tries to "put me in my place". I've done it before and have NO problems doing it agin. My life is by MY terms and no one elses.

i think my mom is just the type of person who was happy in that situation. now me?? or either of my two sisters?? hell naw. it is an equal walk. i dont do anything major without him, and vice versa.

someone, i think Prettyboy, said that women arent designed to "take on the load"...what the hell? not only are we designed to do it, there are just as many of us actually doing it as there are men! like i said earlier, and i will say it again...women need to know how to run a household. if she is willing to sit back and let her man make the decisions, she may be in for a world of disappointment.

"honey, pack the house up, we're moving to Canada because i said so!" it seems funny, but i have a girlfriend who has 5 children, living 250 miles away from home while her husband aka head of household, is off working at a job he could have easily gotten here where we live. she is alone, no car, no job, no spending money, no cable, no neighbors...see where i'm going with this? she was "submissive" because thats what her mother told her she should be. she loves her family but she's miserable...what about her needs? being head of household should first and foremost incorporate the other persons wants and needs and feelings.

too many men feel that "submissive" equals "i do what i want, when i want and you cant do anything about it".

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

too many men feel that "submissive" equals "i do what i want, when i want and you cant do anything about it".

And then get all offended when you call them on it. Hypocritical and a blown up ego.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i think my mom is just the type of person who was happy in that situation. now me?? or either of my two sisters?? hell naw. it is an equal walk. i dont do anything major without him, and vice versa.

someone, i think Prettyboy, said that women arent designed to "take on the load"...what the hell? not only are we designed to do it, there are just as many of us actually doing it as there are men! like i said earlier, and i will say it again...women need to know how to run a household. if she is willing to sit back and let her man make the decisions, she may be in for a world of disappointment.

"honey, pack the house up, we're moving to Canada because i said so!" it seems funny, but i have a girlfriend who has 5 children, living 250 miles away from home while her husband aka head of household, is off working at a job he could have easily gotten here where we live. she is alone, no car, no job, no spending money, no cable, no neighbors...see where i'm going with this? she was "submissive" because thats what her mother told her she should be. she loves her family but she's miserable...what about her needs? being head of household should first and foremost incorporate the other persons wants and needs and feelings.

too many men feel that "submissive" equals "i do what i want, when i want and you cant do anything about it".

Leading doesn't mean ruling with an iron fist. Submitting doesn't mean she's his servant. They can walk side by side, but again walking side by side means for her to submit to my lead, and I am to submit to her needs. You ladies can think what ever you want to, just make sure you get a man that is cool with you leading and running the household. I know some men like that. Hey, if they're cool with it, then that's their business, but in my relationship, I'm the man and I'm the one who makes the final decision. When I'm with a woman, I'll do anything for her. I want to make her happy at all costs. I'm not perfect, but I do my best, with what I have. I'm faithful, and I'm a one woman man, always have been and I always will be, but I was raised to lead my woman, and to only know when to listen to her. I'm not saying she'll submit everytime, but that's why relationships take work. But again, if it works for you ladies runnin the show, go ahead and run it. Good luck.

[357Nupe]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

That worked for them however my parents did everything equally so in essence they were both head of the household. They were married for 62 years and seperated by his death. My issue is that men expect women to be strong yet subservient and LET them be in charge. Why cant both be in charge? I can not and will not let someone, esp. a man tell me how, what, when, why, where... and expect me to just go along. That's me. I will hurt a mans EGO (because that's what it really about) in a second and not think twice if he tries to "put me in my place". I've done it before and have NO problems doing it agin. My life is by MY terms and no one elses.

I find it funny that people want to add God and remove God as they feel it necessary. I never said roles according to the bible, you assumed and you know what you do when you a$$ u not me. The roles I am referring to are natural and of course that generally agrees with the bible since it is the essence of nature.

Why do you find it hard to give up control? Your problem is not with marriage, men or religion it is with some words that you have given control of your life. My wife give me control but with the gift she gave me I returned the gift of control to her. I am the head of my house but only because my wife allows it, she still does everything she wants and never ask for permission. Hell I ask to go out, she leaves and calls back to say I will be in later, bossy a$$ AKA's.

Your assumpition is based on perception and yours my dear is flawed. Roles are a part of life when you got your job you got a role, when your were born into your family you got a role, what makes you think that stops when you get married. I hope that when your mate finds you he uses the right words for your sake.

As for you hurting a mans ego, maybe you confused a boy for a man. You can hurt a mans feelings and physical body but his ego should be Diamond encrusted.

[Dionysus]

This some bull, I finna go lesbian....all the way.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by 357Nupe

I find it funny that people want to add God and remove God as they feel it necessary. I never said roles according to the bible, you assumed and you know what you do when you a$$ u not me. The roles I am referring to are natural and of course that generally agrees with the bible since it is the essence of nature.

Natural to you. Not me

Why do you find it hard to give up control?

Because I don't have to And neither should he.

Your problem is not with marriage, men or religion, it is with some words that you have given control of your life. My wife give me control but with the gift she gave me I returned the gift of control to her. I am the head of my house but only because my wife allows it, she still does everything she wants and never ask for permission. Hell I ask to go out, she leaves and calls back to say I will be in later, bossy a$$ AKA's.

My idea of marriage is not the same as yours (obviously) To me, it's not about control but being equal to each other. No one controls me but me. No problem.

Your assumption is based on perception and yours my dear is flawed. Roles are a part of life when you got your job you got a role, when your were born into your family you got a role, what makes you think that stops when you get married. I hope that when your mate finds you he uses the right words for your sake.

Flawed by whose standard? I agree roles are a part of life, some born into, some given, some by choice. My life, truly about choices. At the root of it all, I chose not to be married right now.

As for you hurting a mans ego, maybe you confused a boy for a man. You can hurt a mans feelings and physical body but his ego should be Diamond encrusted.

Maybe I did and maybe I didn't, I still hurt their feelings.
Why are you guys getting so puffed up? 357Nupe, you're married so what difference does it make for you?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i have no problem with the "wife submissive to her husband" rule. ooh, see that? it said WIFE! that, my friend, is where the line is. i am generally submissive as a fiancee, but not to the level i will be after we say "i do"...

my problem with the "our women" slant a few of you mentioned, is that i hear it too often. it is the answer a lot of times to the "why are you dating outside your race?" question. i dont mind interracial dating at all, mind you, but think its unfair to black women when we are stereotyped in that way. after all the oppression we, as a people, went thru together, you would think you would want a strong black woman. there are so many of "our women" who are without men and raising children for various reasons. you should support that strength in us!

we, in turn, AS WOMEN need to learn that skill of letting you all do your thing. not specifically as black women. oh, and uh, dont tell me every man is MAN ENOUGH to lead a household...hmm?

You're right, there are some sorry jokers out there who don't/won't work, cheat, run the streets, hang out at clubs w/o their woman beside them, hang out at bars to get drunk and pick up hoish women. Yeah, that's a poor excuse for a man, and I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for a joker like that. And hell no, they won't lead. Men like that are content with the woman leading. In fact these men look for a sugar mama. They literally want to be taken care of. Lazy jokers.

As far as black women are concerned, according to Ebony, 70% of them are single. What I have a problem with is when black women get mad when they see a black man with a white woman. Hell, that's their business. I don't know what's up with that.