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I quit on Mother's Day this year, in honor of my mom, who is still going downhill very very slowly. I am still wanting one ALL THE TIME and in the "I feel insane" phase. I am taking it a few hours at a time. When it gets really, really bad, I make deals with myself like.. "If it's still this bad after work, I can buy a pack on the way home" or "If it's still this bad in the morning, I can buy a pack on the way to work". I get through those times, don't buy the pack and make the next deal with myself. I would love to be at a point where this isn't necessary. I also have a rebellious streak in that, if I think "I can't", then I want to more. So, I don't say that I can't have one, I tell myself that I'm choosing not to. One thing that has helped is that, on July 1st, my workplace went smoke free. There is no smoking anywhere on the grounds, even in your own car in the parking lot. The smokers are heading across the street to a bench in front of a firestation. It is really a relief that I'm not one of the people having to do that. The other thing that I am enjoying is the financial part. In Michigan, they are around $5 a pack and it's a relief to not have to be budgeting to make sure I have enough money for cigarettes each pay period.
On the downside, when I smell it on someone or walk past someone smoking, I LOVE the smell and want one so bad. And, I feel like I am constantly battling this and cannot relax 100%. I wish I had some inkling of how long it would be before I could laugh and relax and have fun without having to fight this battle, because, frankly, I find it exhausting.
I'm on Zyban and I'm using strongly flavored cinnamon things.. gum, mints, etc. The cinnamon Icebreaker mints help me a lot. Why? I dunno. That strong rough feeling in the throat I guess. I have gained 8 pounds, but most of that was in the first couple weeks and the weight gain has stopped for now, so that's a relief. If I only gain 8 pounds from quitting, I will consider that good.
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