Frat Life is not what it's cracked up to be

[APhiAlien1996]

Oh, by the way, even though I am speaking of other Alpha men, this goes for all greeks.

[treblk]

uuhhmm wow..the question that I have for you is, are you putting you faith in Alpha or are you putting your faith in people. I think that no matter what letters someone has, they are people first, letters second. People were shady before letters and will be shady with letters. I believe these things have happened to many of us, with and without letters, so maybe you need to change your networking game up and talk to EVERYONE not just your frat JMHO.

[APhiAlien1996]

Originally Posted by treblk

uuhhmm wow..the question that I have for you is, are you putting you faith in Alpha or are you putting your faith in people. I think that no matter what letters someone has, they are people first, letters second. People were shady before letters and will be shady with letters. I believe these things have happened to many of us, with and without letters, so maybe you need to change your networking game up and talk to EVERYONE not just your frat JMHO.

Oh yes, I do agree with you 100%. But, I thought that networking with your frat. would help, at least that's what I believed. However, folks are still shady.

[Professor]

[whiteandblack]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Oh, by the way, even though I am speaking of other Alpha men, this goes for all greeks.

thank you.

[Jody]

So.....

what did you think frat life was supposed to be? I'm just curious?

[APhiAlien1996]

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

[whiteandblack]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

sure, I got you but like treblk said people first, letters second. I got you.

[AKA_Monet]

I have a hardcore question so it should be taken without emotion:

Since the legal ending of above ground public pledging process, where everything pledges did was public from carrying bricks to have the scars on the face to humiliation in public to mocking personal behavior, to the safer non-hazing kinds of things like everyone dressing similarly in public to making sure EVERYONE sees you studying in public at 12:08 AM everyday...

Have we lost our love for one another without those "tactics" in place? Hayle, my linesisters will correct me in a minute, but I am unoffended because I have been there and done that with them. Greeks made before a certain time just have that mutual understanding. None of this challenging and improvement of networking skill. Long time ago, it was just "understood" through the pledging process.

Any underground stuff, was looked down upon. I.e. getting beat down, slapping, hair cutting, etc.

So, I wonder, we have made some pretty decent members who are well intentioned and say they are committed to the community service program. However, it seems at the same time, some of these members are struggling and wondering their commitments made during induction.

Would a pre-described above ground pledge process make the difference?

[Animate]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

While I get what you are saying I think you may have been expecting some all powerful brotherhood full of brothers that will be there any and everytime you need. Its not going to be like that. Like others have said, people are people first and foremost.

And neos can relate!

<---- Neo

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by Animate

Like others have said, people are people first and foremost.

And neos can relate!

<---- Neo

THANK YOU ANIMATE!

IF my sorors can come through for me they will, if they can't then they won't, but this applies to everyone! I can not go to my church, job, neighbor, or whomever expecting them to make sure my every need is met, so why should I expect AKA to do the same? Of course AKA may provide connections for me, but at the end of the day I should think about how would I find a job if I were not an AKA. On my own!

OH yeah....I am a neo and a undergraduate, so......I guess that messes up your diagnosis that neos know nothing.

[Infamous12]

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will..."

If this setback has made you doubt your brotherhood...it makes me wonder how strong your brotherhood (read: AphiAliens brotherhood, not that of Alpha) really is. As an echo to much of what has been said before, not only have my Sorors been there for me at the drop of a hat, but so have my Bruhs. I could easier count the amount of breaths I take a day than to count the countless times my sands and fellow greeks have been there for me in whatever capacity I needed them in.

[Maestro1]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

Seriously, many of you do not get what I am saying. Well, I know you do but you still have on your fraternity/sorority blinders on. Neos can't relate, but graduate/leave college, get out into the real world and let some of the newness wear off. I'm sure everyone that pledged something was told that your organization would be there when you needed something, right or wrong? I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

APhiAlien1996,

I wanted to share my thoughts with you last week, but thought it best to collect my thoughts before posting. Back in April 2006 I left my old job to take a better paying job. I was still a neo in our graduate chapter, and to be honest taking this job would mean I would have less time to participate in the chapter, due to my daily commute and my work hours.

Nonetheless, Brothers still managed to support my decision to move onward and upward in my professional career. They took me out to lunch, gave me gifts to help celebrate my new job, I felt like I had crossed all over again. A few short months later, my job went through some restructuring and of course it was "last hired, first fired". I was out of work in the dead of the summer. My wife and I were expecting a child and the only thing I had to fall back on was unemployment.

One of my LB's was quick to come to my phinancial assistance by making me a loan during a terribly tough financial period. He and his wife were "looking" to help someone out because that's what God placed in their hearts.

Sure, I forwarded my resume to a few brothers to pass around their job. But I did not lean on the shield and EXPECT them to get me a job. If I was lucky, I hoped to get at least an interview. If I can't sell myself to any prospective employer, then who can?

I never got a job, or an interview as a result of passing my resume to Bruhs, but nor do I feel it was their obligation to find me a job. Alpha Phi Alpha does not feed my family, that is my responsibility.

I found a new job recently, and I still commute to work each day. One day I was walking near a strip of restaurants and saw a brother with Alpha plates on his car. I walked up and introduced myself, and he immediately pulled over to talk. We went to lunch that day, and before I could pull my wallet out he had already paid for both of our lunches. It was my intention to pay for his lunch, but I guess in the spirit of brotherhood he beat me to it.

My LB's will see my wife at the coffee shop and pay for her coffee. I have seen frat brothers stranded on the side of the road, and stopped with no hesitation.

I support the undergraduate chapters on two separate college campuses by attending at least one service project or event, even though both are separated by about 50 miles. I make it a point to attend service project and participate as much as I can within my own chapter.......even though I am still not financial due to my setbacks last summer, and my newborn child.

In fact, when I told my wife how much or little my dues were SHE admonished me for not being financial, and SHE'S NOT GREEK! Apparently she felt that "EXCUSES ARE TOOLS OF THE INCOMPETENT!"

A wise woman once said, "Not only did you choose Alpha, but they choose you!" I respect you opinion, but if I were in your position I would hope a brother would tell me, "The same effort you put into becoming a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, is the same effort you need to put into bettering yourself and your position in life."

Our alumni chapter has a great relationship with our undergraduate chapter. In this world of "made" vs. "paper" and the perceptions about undergrad and graduate "processes", we've been able to work together and be successful as Alpha Men.

In closing, I have helped young men and women of various BGLO's by hiring them, and then providing references. My obligation is to help ALL young men and women, not just Alpha men. I have no problem providing references for the many Sigma's, Alpha's, Kappa's, and Delta's who were once my former employees.

No doubt you've had some negative experiences, but do not generalize them to include the entire organization. This brother is willing to help you out in whatever way I can. Hit me up with a PM.

Sorry for the novel people! I just got carried away!

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by APhiAlien1996

I dare any of you to tell me that your frat/soror was there when you truly needed them!!

They were--many times.

{{{Jody}}}