Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[LXA SE285]

When I was 10, I was the ring-bearer for a couple in my church. Everything about the ceremony was pretty by-the-numbers except for one thing: When the rear doors to the sanctuary opened, instead of striding down the aisle to "Here Comes the Bride," the bride launched into Elvis's "Hawaiian Wedding Song" in a quavery, slightly off-key vibrato (imagine a 30-something woman singing like Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from The Lawrence Welk Show). The groom looked on in what can only be described as horror, as if a horse had just kicked him in the head.

I think they stayed together for, like, four months.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by LXA SE285

When I was 10, I was the ring-bearer for a couple in my church. Everything about the ceremony was pretty by-the-numbers except for one thing: When the rear doors to the sanctuary opened, instead of striding down the aisle to "Here Comes the Bride," the bride launched into Elvis's "Hawaiian Wedding Song" in a quavery, slightly off-key vibrato (imagine a 30-something woman singing like Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from The Lawrence Welk Show). The groom looked on in what can only be described as horror, as if a horse had just kicked him in the head.

I think they stayed together for, like, four months.

Somehow I missed this before. I am ROLLING, picturing "Norma Zimmer II" warbling, "Keeee kaliii neiii auuu..."

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

There are so many problems with this story. But really a priest who sees the star and still doesn't get it? Yikes, glad I'm not in his parish.

I was at a sister's wedding a few years after graduation, and the priest invited the whole congregation up to take communion. Both the priest and the bride's dad were handing out the communion wafers. The priest noted that if you didn't wish to take communion, but wanted a blessing, you could come up and fold your arms instead of opening your hands.

So, I was sitting with another sister and her boyfriend. Both of them went up there, and she took communion, and he did not. Except, he was in the bride's dad's line, and the bride's dad didn't know what to do, so he just stood there looking puzzled for a minute, and then put his hand in the air and mumbled something.

A minor enough awkward moment, except that, when we were chatting after the service, the boyfriend told me that he thought that I was impolite for having remained seated.

[KDMafia]

I can't think of any for me right off the bat, although I did go to one wedding where they had an expensive ice scuplture of two swans with blue water running through it and then served stale goldfish crackers as a light snack and had mac and cheese on the buffet....

One of my friend's had a horrible experience standing up in another sister's wedding. It was a destination wedding in Orlando, but they couldnt' afford to have it in Disney World, so it was just at a hotel in Orlando. My friend was a bridesmaid and was told she had to fly down 3 days before the wedding. She arranged with the bride to have someone pick her up and when she landed and called the bride told her no one was coming and to take a public bus or call a cab. She she took a bus, checked in at the hotel and realized the next two days were basically the bridesmaids taking the bride out and paying for everything. they went out to Pleaure Island for Drinks one night and the night before the wedding she was informed that they would be getting dinner at a restaurant in Epcot so she had to pay to get in to the park and pay for dinner and that she realized when she got there that, once again, all the bridesmaids had to pay for the bride.


My friend came back and when I asked her how it was she stated that she thinks she spent more money being a bridesmaid than the bride did on the entire wedding.
After this and three nights at an expensive hotel she was expecting a snazzy wedding. Nope, 10 minute ceremony by the hotel chaplain (who left before signing the marriage license) an Ipod for a DJ, nothing but appetizers for dinner and no where to sit and the bride and groom left halfway through and never contacted her bridesmaids to thank them or anything...

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by KDMafia

After this and three nights at an expensive hotel she was expecting a snazzy wedding. Nope, 10 minute ceremony by the hotel chaplain (who left before signing the marriage license) an Ipod for a DJ, nothing but appetizers for dinner and no where to sit and the bride and groom left halfway through and never contacted her bridesmaids to thank them or anything...

Explains why the bridesmaids paid for everything. How cheap and ........just, not nice.

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding a couple weekends ago. I flew out 3 days prior to the wedding and stayed with the bride. She or her family paid for everything. I didn't spend a dime.

[christiangirl]

I just had an amazing time avoiding homework. Good Lord Almighty, I heart this thread. '

ETA: The wedding I attended this weekend was beautiful and definitely can't go in this thread. However, I did notice something that I've seen a lot of in this thread--they ran out of cake. Apparently, the one they had was not big enough for the number of attendees but that wasn't really the couple's fault. 20 people did not RSVP but then showed up to the wedding.

[DaffyKD]

When I pledged KD, we received temporary big sisters on bid day. My temp big sis and my official big sis were best friends. My very best friend is the official little sis of my temp big sis (got it??? hope so because I can't repeat it and still sound sober). OK, temp big sis asked me to be in her wedding when I was a first semester law student. My BS was going to be the maid of honor, and the bride's little sis was another bridesmaid. The wedding was on a Saturday night. I had a final on Friday night and 3 on Sunday. The rehearsal was on Friday. I called bride the day I got the final schedule and told her my schedule and offered to drop out of the wedding (this was 3 months before the wedding). No, she wanted me still.

The same day I offered to drop out, she and her mother found that there was no place to have the wedding in December in which they could bring in all their own food. In order to have a wedding in which they did all the cooking they decided it had to be held at home-- no problem EXCEPT Dad decided if they were having the wedding at home they had to remodel the entire house. Construction begins almost immediately.

Bride picked patterns for brides maids dresses. We are all in hunter green but with different pattern. I don't sew. My mother does not sew. Bride says she will make my dress. I seem to be doing a lot of studying at her house with remodeling dust bothering me while she fits my dress. Everyone else has someone to make their dresses. Of course, the dress she picked for me has the most detail. Bride tells me at one fitting she will be making her own dress. We are now only 2 months to go. Construction is not going very quickly, bride has not started her dress.

3 weeks before wedding, house definitely will not be completed. Dad goes out to the first place he can find that has a room available for that particular Saturday night during holiday season and books the room It is a motor lodge.

I cannot attend the actual rehearsal since I am taking a final. Head over to the dinner and the father says to be in a loud drunken voice-- "You better not ruin the wedding tomorrow since your failed to show up for the rehearsal". My friends are as shocked as I am. As my best friend, big sister and I start to leave, bride says she better head out soon and START working on her wedding gown.

Saturday, I show up at the church at the appointed time. Bride shows up 1 hour late. Hair is a mess. She has been working on dress all night and all day. She had told us that she was going to have 50 small cloth covered buttons down the back of the dress. When she arrived she never got the button covered or put on the dress. We had to sew her into the dress.

The wedding as at an Episcopalian church. She wanted communion during the service. Maid of Honor and I were both Jewish. When priest offered us communion, we tried to say no very discreetly. As he stood in front of me getting frustrated because I would not take communion, I pulled a star out from under my gown. He proceeded to announce, "I can't believe these two girls turned down communion." YIKES!

At the reception, the food was awful, the room was super tiny, and the bride ignored all of the KDs. I was one of the first guest to leave since I had finals starting at 9 am. Maid of honor and my best friend left with me. A few weeks after the wedding she and new hubby moved into a newly build home. Maid of honor and I went to see them one day. She refused to talk to me because I left the wedding early. It has now been over 30 years and she still has not said 2 words to me.

DaffyKD

[victoriana]

Good God! Why would anyone want to play Calle Ocho as their recessional? Did they at least dance?

[annabella]

Originally Posted by victoriana

Good God! Why would anyone want to play Calle Ocho as their recessional? Did they at least dance?

Maybe they met in a Zumba class.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping for the honeychile story factor. It's like a movie. lol.

[SWTXBelle]

Yes, it's a year later - but I thought I'd mention (for Mystic Cat) that my Anglican-Use Roman Catholic parish does still publish the banns. I love the banns.

AND I can't believe I forgot my brother's wedding. My mother was on a jury the week before the wedding and really freaking out that she wouldn't be finished in time to have any time to do what she needed to get done. She got out one day early. The bride was nominally Roman Catholic. I was a bridesmaid, and during the rehearsal the priest told me not to bow my head "so much" at the altar. I told him I usually genuflect. THEN - my family is Episcopalian and we had been told their would be no communion. SURPRISE - we are going to have communion, which my brother cannot have. I now know that communion is standard, but we were told this at the rehearsal the night before. My daughters, then 2 and 4, were flower girls. Adorable, yes - wearing beautiful black velvet bodiced dresses with white damasked taffeta skirts we got at Neiman-Marcus. (As an aside - I had Cinderella, my youngest, in a stroller when we went to pick up the dresses. She had a corn cob on a stick and was waving it about wildly. Mind you, I made sure we were nowhere near any stock, but it was amusing to see sales clerks on the verge of tears as we winded our way through the store) but TOO YOUNG to sit through an hour and a half service. Upon seeing the bride in her very 90s gown the 2 year old started saying "Cinda-ella! Cinda-ella!" Again, cute. But midway through the interminable service, just as we were all about to lose our minds, Cinderella starts to take off her shoes. First one, then the other. She then sits down, plays with her skirt, etc., etc. Meanwhile, the photographer is everywhere - this surprises me, since my church at the time and now both allow only non-intrusive non-flash pictures. It takes FOREVER. By the time we get to the reception at a Lake Jackson yacht club (if you are from TX you know why that is funny) where there IS NO FOOD LEFT. I am starving - no food. Where are the bride and groom? They are off getting pictures taken in front of random yachts. We didn't get to spend time with them - they finally came in, got the all important pictures, and left. It wasn't a wedding; it was a photo op.

Gypsyboots is eloping in January. We are working on a reception later in the spring. THERE WILL BE ENOUGH FOOD.

[naraht]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Yes, it's a year later - but I thought I'd mention (for Mystic Cat) that my Anglican-Use Roman Catholic parish does still publish the banns. I love the banns.

I still find it bizarre that in Canada, one of the things that led to Gay Marriage in the country was that Ontario Law basically says that if banns are posted and nobody objects then the couple is married. Two men did that and nobody who objected to Gay Marriage objected in time...

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Yes, it's a year later - but I thought I'd mention (for Mystic Cat) that my Anglican-Use Roman Catholic parish does still publish the banns. I love the banns.

That is cool considering even most Episcopal parishes don't use them any more.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I was in a sister's Catholic wedding and the priest made a point to tell us at the rehearsal that if we didn't want a blessing or communion (I did not as I'm not Catholic), to place one finger over our mouths to indicate to that when it was our turn. Problem solved. I assumed that all Catholic churches did that (or the folded arms thing) and that was the universal symbol for "do not want."

Hmmm...the last Catholic church I attended had the following rules:

I want communion = outstretched hands
Just a blessing = folded arms
I don't want either = "reverently walk by"

When I attended mass with my aunt, she told me to just stay in my seat. I didn't know the finger over the mouth was a universal symbol for anything other than "Shhh be quiet" unless I'm doing it wrong in my head. Well, at least the priest told you ahead of time because a lot of them in this thread seemed to not have done that!

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Hmmm...the last Catholic church I attended had the following rules:

I want communion = outstretched hands
Just a blessing = folded arms
I don't want either = "reverently walk by"

Interesting. I've never heard the "reverently walk by" except for situations where both bread and wine are offered and you choose to receive bread and not wine. (You only have to get one or the other, but if both are offered, some people opt for both.)

In the Catholic parish where I grew up, the practice was as follows:

I want a Communion wafer = outstretched hands, or hands by your sides or folded in prayer, say "Amen" when the priest says "The body of Christ", and then open your mouth and stick out your tongue slightly (the priest or eucharistic minister then places the wafer on your tongue).
Just a blessing = folded arms
I don't want either = stay seated, although you may have to stand and step aside to let people farther down the pew to get out and get in line

The parish seldom offered wine. When they did, you would receive and swallow your wafer and then either queue for wine or "reverently walk by" and go back to your pew.

Non-Catholics (whether or not they belong to another Christian denomination) are ineligible to receive Communion, as is anyone conscious of having committed a mortal sin.

I've been to a Nuptial Mass once since I converted to Judaism. I just kept my butt in my chair and said a silent prayer for the couple's happiness.