Why did you decide to join a sorority?

[jwright25]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

These girls you know aren't even in sororities and yet you think that's the normal type of woman we take?? How do you even know they are going to get in?

You seem to have already made up your mind.........

See, I was thinking this too. I've been mulling this over since I first read it, trying to get my thoughts into the proper words. But sickness and lots of drugs will probably render this rather confusing. I will preface it by saying that I mean no disrespect to anyone. It is an opinion that I am basing on reading several comments in MANY threads - not just this one.

I feel that a lot of people are stereotyping the "pretty girl" sorority as vapid, slutty, party brats. It's one thing to go into their parties and say, "well, I just wouldn't fit in." But to come to conclusions about their entire existence and moral fiber based solely on the fact that they are pretty and that perhaps other snobby PNMs are dying to join seems just as shortsighted as these people accuse the pretty girls of being. Just because boys flock to these girls doesn't mean that they are idiots with no leadership potential. Just because one or two of them weren't very nice in high school doesn't mean that the whole chapter is full of Mean Girls.

I'm not denying the existence of bitchy sorority girls. I'm not denying the existence of sorority girls with crappy moral character. I'm just saying don't judge a book by its cover and don't judge an entire chapter on one or two members. We all have members that might not have been asked to join if we had had a more in-depth glimpse into their high school careers.

In my sorority experience, I have known such a tremendous diversity of women and personalities. Some of the most aesthetically pleasing have also been some of the most intelligent, gracious, kindhearted, and motivated women that I've had the pleasure of working with.

Again - I'm not attacking the OP directly. She's obviously considering sorority life for the first time, so her knowledge is limited only to hearing talk around her high school. But if we are constantly going around telling PNMs to keep all their options open and to consider all chapters - no matter their popularity or size, I hope that they also keep their minds open to the fact that pretty doesn't automatically equal snobby.

[UGAalum94]

Well said, JWright25.

I'd like to ask though that we be patient with the young women who haven't even set foot on a college campus yet.

It's true as SmartBlondeGPhiB that the girls from the OPs high school may not even get bids, but I see quite frequently that some young women who would be excellent members in every respect are reluctant to go through recruitment because of what the other girls they know going through are like.

Once they go to school, they have the chance to see what Greek women are really like, but until they do, they may not have much else to go on.

So when one actually asks, "why did you join?" she's probably trying to look beyond the bad stereotypes even if she doesn't express it perfectly.

[SWTXBelle]

And let us remember that, thank God, very few women in college do not grow, mature and change. You are not doomed to be your high school self forever - you can reinvent yourself.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

And let us remember that, thank God, very few women in college do not grow, mature and change. You are not doomed to be your high school self forever - you can reinvent yourself.

Absolutely. You can be a better version of yourself, and the jerks (or mean girls) you knew in high school often become better too.

[DMCBlondie]

I decided to go through recruitment because my roommates were doing it. I wasn't the most outgoing person, so it was a major stretch for me, but I didn't want to feel left out. I almost didn't show up for the first meeting. But I went through with it and stuck it out to the end and ended up where I belong.

The best advice I can think of is to be yourself and not only begin recruitment but finish it too! Don't get discouraged along the way, but follow through and make an effort to enjoy the house you get a bid to. If you don't get a bid, its not the end of the world. It would not be fun to end up at a house that doesn't want you.

What do you guys think of going through recruitment twice? I know of a lot of people that go through again because they didn't get a bid to the house they wanted the first time.

[flirt5721]

Honestly, the reason I decided to go thou recruitment was because I needed to make friends that were girls. I am an Electrical Engineering major and there are not very many girls in that major. I was tried of hanging out with guys all the time(which if you know/knew an engineer you will understand). Also because I was shy and wanted to be more confident when talking to others and make new friends. I didn't join til my soph. year and my freshman year I really didn't do much but go to class and go home.

I was not popular in high school and I found where I belong. I honestly never thought I would join a sorority. Sorority life is not for everyone. I have friends that did not like what sorority life had to offer but I also have many friend (including myself) that did like what it had to offer.

Not all are like the girls you described.

Fraternity/sorority relationship: socials and events are done with them. Girls will have their favorite fraternity or be dating guys from a specific fraternity but you are not required to like a specific fraternity. Guys will be guys not matter if they are in a fraternity or not. I have at least one friends in each fraternity on my campus. Many guys from the fraternity will be nice and make good friends but there is always going to be some idiot that thinks he's all that just because he is in a fraternity.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Every campus is different. I think the campus you'll be on will play a large role in whether or not you decide to go through recruitment. On large or very Greek oriented campuses, the social aspect is probably a large motivator for rushing. There will probably be chapters avaliable to you that don't focus on that, but I don't know if you'll be able to escape that hierarchy mentality. On a smaller or less Greek oriented campus, I think the Greek life tends to be a little more diverse, laid back, and focused. Stereotypes don't apply EVERYWHERE. Talk to the Greek advisor on your campus, and try to talk to students on campus as well, like a tour guide. Be specific. Tell them exactly what you're looking for.

I went through Recruitment because my mom wanted me to. It was also an effortless way to meet people. I ended up accepting a bid because I saw that the sororities on my campus for the most part did NOT meet the stereotypes that I grew up listening to. I've learned so much about interaction, friendship, how to deal with arguements, how to pick battles, how to win battles, how to be a REAL friend, how to be a little less self centered, how to politic...to me it was worth it.

As far as "moral values", every chapter on a campus is different. A Chi O chapter at school A might be the brainer girls and at school B might be the artsy girls and at school C might be the pretty girls...you get the picture. Every sorority differs at every school. That's why it's important to learn more about your specific campus. It's my impression that at schools where Greek life is king, there tends to be more pressure to fit in. Sometimes that might mean bending morals. Now this does NOT mean that all sorority girls at a Greek oriented school are sluts. Anyone with strong moral convictions can "just say no". It's just hard to have those at 18, sometimes. It also does NOT mean that every chapter on the campus is like that. I think at smaller schools the pressure is lessened, so it might be a little easier to "just say no". The fact is, though, sorority or not, college is a time for experiementation for a lot of people. It doesn't have to be, but I think that that's a common factor in college life Greek or not.

Again, the fraternity/sorority relationship differs school to school, chapter to chapter. And as far as drunk fraternity guys go...try going to a party with ANY college guys, regardless of affiliation and lack thereof and NOT get hit on. They're guys. They just do that. For me, I haven't noticed a difference between the two. They both do it. There are plenty of ways to meet guys without alcohol, though. Mixers, for instance, are a good way to hang out in groups and meet new guys.

I think the first step for you is, once you know for sure where you are going to college, talk to the Greek Advisor on your campus, and try to get the opinion of students both Greek and non Greek. See what they say, and then try to make your decision based on that. If nothing else, feel free to go through Recruitment for the heck of it. If you decide that Greek life is not for you, you are not required to finish the process. But it won't hurt to try, and you'll meet lots of new girls in the process.