Playas till the day we die...

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

Ladies and Gents. .... How will our people ever mend our family structure when we no longer value one of it's most essential ties.

Accept ourselves for who we are and value our unique beauty.

[raggann03]

Discussions like these tend to always leave someone feeling misunderstood or whatever because some important qualifiers are left unsaid. The thing about the man being the lead, etc. etc. Is true, thats biblical, but the one thing that most men forget to also say is this, "In order for me to be the head of OUR household and for you to be the proper helper, God must be the final authority. A man cannot lead except he be led....not to preach here, but thats it. Prettyboy you mentioned that in a disagreement the man has the final say so. Well if both people have entered into this union appropriately it stands to reason that they have both prayed and gotten an answer from God making him the final authority. It goes beyond the man "just being a good man", he has to be a God man for me to allow him to lead. And that only happens once I become his wife. Don't expect me to play a part you haven't offered to me.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

Ladies and Gents. What happened? I know this problem reaches far out of my fraternity. Black men period! I don't know many of my peers period who are in positive long term committed relationships or married. How will our people ever mend our family structure when we no longer value one of it's most essential ties.

You're silly for that signature.

Long story short (since this topic is actually a really in depth one):

I don't think it has to do with being "playas for life" or the typical relationship concerns that people in this thread are discussing. It has to do with extra-familial factors such as commitment to careers that makes men and women (surprisingly, women of particular races encounter this even more than men do) end up 30+ and unmarried. People want to be educationally and professionally established before starting a family. And unfortunately there tends to be a dichotomy between work and family so it's difficult to successfully have and be commited to both. Back in the day, the black community was (even more) disproportionately undereducated, underemployed in professional fields, and not of the middle to upperclass. So of course people would be focused on the one thing they thought they could focus on and be successful in: family.

The gender and race literature and research spell this out quite well.

Now I wish that we could get more people to remember that "starting a family" includes having children. If you don't want to settle down with one person yet because of professional or whatever concerns, don't have children either. Do your best to keep all of your eggs in one basket. With exception given to extenuating circumstances.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

........Now I wish that we could get more people to remember that "starting a family" includes having children. If you don't want to settle down with one person yet because of professional or whatever concerns, don't have children either. Do your best to keep all of your eggs in one basket. With exception given to extenuating circumstances.

amen

[sbx_six_eye]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LOL. The way these trifling jokers like doing things in this day and age, you pretty much have to.

....my aunt calls them scalawags...

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

Hmm, well, I base my opinion on the different things I've learned through research over the years and I grew up in a christian household and church.
My idea of "submitting" comes from the same teachings. I understand what you're getting at though.

I think we ought to start sending people to GC...they'll learn everything they need to know...