Retro on the Rocks with a Twist?

[Leslie Anne]

Fall of 1986 was my junior year, although considering the semester that got retro-actively withdrawn plus a change of major, I was definitely on the five-year plan at the very least. At Maryland, juniors could get a bid but only at certain chapters.

I had friends in several chapters by then and many of them gently suggested that I might think about another sorority. But, of course, I was still set on re-pledging Water Skiing even though it was obvious to everyone but me and my big sis “Angela” that I was beating a dead horse.

So, I started going through the process of Rush for the third time.

During the first round and Set of 10, “Angela” literally dragged me through the chapter house, interrupting conversations left and right to introduce me to as many girls I didn’t know as possible. She wanted to make absolutely sure that I met and had the support of the sisters that had pledged the year before. I didn’t get into any conversations with them. It was just “Hi,” “Hi,” “Hello,” “Nice to meet you,” “Hello,” “Hi.” Angela’s dedication to me was extraordinary. Things were going well and I thought I would finally find myself back home in Water Skiing and the whole nightmare would be over.

The time came to pick up my invitations to Set of 4. I was just inside the Student Union when someone grabbed my arm. It was “Angela.” She pulled me aside and said, “I think something bad might have happened.” No, no no no no. Not again! I had done everything they asked me to do! She told me to go in and get my invitations and meet her back in the hall.

I got my invitations and Water Skiing was not listed. I handed the card to “Angela” and when she saw it she blurted out, “That B#%$!” I didn’t know what she was talking about. I was numb. I couldn’t even look at my card. I asked her to choose which chapters to return to for me, which she did. She then said that she had to get out of there before someone on Panhellenic saw her (major Rush infraction) and that she would visit me later.

Later that afternoon, she came by to see me. I was busy cutting my Water Skiing t-shirts to shreds and sobbing. I had really gone off the deep end and I think I freaked her out. She told me what happened and I learned much more than I should have about Water Skiing’s MS. I also learned that I had made one enemy in the house and by then she was chapter president. Apparently there was quite a scene made back at the house. I felt bad for “Angela.”

I told my friends what had happened and they were horrified. “Maureen” pulled me aside and told me that, despite the fact that up until that point I was still set on Water Skiing, she had been fighting for me tooth and nail at Tennis. She said, “The seniors do not want to take a junior. You have to impress them!”

Well, I wouldn’t have known how to try to impress someone if I tried. Tennis had been one of my favorites my freshman year but if they didn’t want to take a junior, I figured it was out of my hands. There were three other sororities that I would be returning to for Set of 4. My schedule was:

Diving
Skiing
Fishing
and
Tennis

Skiing was fairly new to me. I had been cut from them after the first round my freshman year so I hadn’t really gotten to know them. What I did know about them I liked. They were a great group of girls. The chapter was pretty diverse, which I liked, and they were both easy-going and friendly.

Once I had calmed down from my melt-down I realized that I had to move on and that there was still an opportunity to pledge a really great sorority. I could start fresh somewhere else. I felt hopeful again.

My only memories of Set of 4 are from Skiing and Tennis.

At Skiing I had gotten to know a wonderful girl named Nina. She was a sweetheart and I really liked the girls that she introduced me to. I felt like this chapter could definitely be a possibility.

As soon as I walked into Tennis, “Maureen” grabbed me and told me she was taking me to meet one of the seniors. She sat me down next to a girl named Carol who looked like Grace Kelly. I wasn’t nervous though. I had no intention of trying to impress her. I was just myself and we ended up having a really good conversation about “if you could do anything in the world, what would it be?” I left feeling good about how I had handled myself. I had come a long way from my first disastrous Rush encounter with Football two years earlier.




Pref, Bid Day and wrap-up are up next. I promise:

[BabyPiNK_FL]

OMG! Love the little Homer Simpson! LOL! At first I was like...Is there a new sorority or somthing? But then I read his belly!

I feel awful that you ended up wasting a year based on lies and hope. It's not like the majority didn't know...you could have been happy somewhere else that whole time. I think I would have finished just to spite them (but only join somewhere I really liked). I know that when I went through since I was a junior I was going to accept a bid. Not because I wanted any bid, but because I knew that I could enjoy many of the options that I had at my campus and I was NOT going to go through again as a senior.

[AlwaysSAI]

I'm glad to see you are moving past Waterskiing, although this has brought a thought to mind.

NPCers often talk about finding their "home", but I wonder if this thread is proof positive that a woman's "home" can change with each year--even on the same campus. Women graduate, new women join and the whole chapter dynamic can change within only a year's time.

~I wonder what would have happened if you had stuck it out the second time~

I often wonder what the outcome would have been if I rushed again.

Oh well, I found my "home"

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

NPCers often talk about finding their "home", but I wonder if this thread is proof positive that a woman's "home" can change with each year--even on the same campus. Women graduate, new women join and the whole chapter dynamic can change within only a year's time.

I think that at a large campus like Maryland with many chapters, there is often more than one place where a PNM could fit very well. I got my first choice, but I think I could have been very happy at any of 3 other chapters that wanted me if that's how things panned out.

For some people, there really is only one place where they belong. I agree that the dynamic might change from year to year. If your mortal enemy joins a chapter before you do, you're probably not going to want that chapter, regardless of how much you like everyone else. But, if you joined before she did, she probably won't join.

ETA: This is totally nuts. Didn't water skiing's advisor also commit a recruitment infraction your sophomore year for telling you to wait another year to pledge? Did you have a decent number of invites? I can't imagine waiting another year, since you'd been trying since freshman year. With the way things are now, every chapter does informal recruitment, so it's just a matter of waiting a semester. And I think my first instinct about KD was correct.

[Faith4Keep]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

For some people, there really is only one place where they belong. I agree that the dynamic might change from year to year. If your mortal enemy joins a chapter before you do, you're probably not going to want that chapter, regardless of how much you like everyone else. But, if you joined before she did, she probably won't join.

I totally agree. This is why I didn't even look at one chapter on my campus when I went through recruitment. I couldn't imagine being HER sister!

hijack:
I think it's crap that sororities cut Juniors after the first day. I honestly don't understand it. Hypothetically, a chapter that ONLY recruited juniors every year would still have members if there were 1000 juniors going through rush. It's just that membership would generally be two years, and not 3 or 4. I honestly just don't see why juniors are immediately cut from some chapters after first round, for no other reason than that they are juniors? As if they have nothing to contribute? In many campus organizations, you can be a member for 3 months and then become president, and things work out great! If someone could explain why it is a disadvantage for a chapter to take juniors I would greatly appreciate it.

/end hijack

[FuzzieAlum]

continue hijack:
Imagine that quota is usually around 30. (And on this imaginary campus no one ever drops out and they all graduate in 4 years!) A chapter that only pledged freshmen would get 30 every year and so have 120 members after formal rush. A chapter that pledged only juniors would have 60 after rush. Of course, that's an exaggerated example. But if you have even one chapter that only takes freshman, a chapter that accepts other years has to replace those girls more quickly, and even if they're making quota they probably have to do a little COB. Then the dreadful "they're not as big, they're not as popular" virus sets in ... the horror!

I'm not saying this is fair, just that this is the logic. If you're at a less competitive campus, or chapter size varies more, year would be less of an issue.
/end hijack

Um, also, that's "recruitment" I meant to say.

[SydneyK]

Leslie Anne,

You rock. This has been such a great thread! I'm having a hard time not going off about what you went through.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by Faith4Keep

If someone could explain why it is a disadvantage for a chapter to take juniors I would greatly appreciate it.

Generally, a sister's involvement in day-to-day sorority life dips during her senior year. After all, seniors are working on their resume, tying up loose ends with regards to graduation, applying/interviewing for jobs, etc. Many chapters' officer boards are comprised of mostly juniors - sisters who have chapter/campus experience and (usually) more time to devote to the chapter than their senior counter-parts.

So, if a chapter takes a junior, she'll basically have a shelf-life of only that year.

If initiation is in the late fall, and chapter officers are voted on in the late fall/early spring, then any junior the chapter takes will most likely not be an officer, since the office obligations will bleed into her senior year (like, half of it).

That means that that chapter is going to have to work to replace that sister long before they should. Plus, it's an easy way to pare numbers when you don't have much else to go by.

I'm having a hard time being succinct here. And I know this isn't how it is with all chapters on all campuses. Just sharing some possibilities...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Faith4Keep

I think it's crap that sororities cut Juniors after the first day. I honestly don't understand it.

This isn't true everywhere. There are some schools (like mine) where recruitment is less competitive and juniors regularly receive bids.

[Ocalagirl]

Originally Posted by Faith4Keep

I totally agree. This is why I
hijack:
I think it's crap that sororities cut Juniors after the first day. I honestly don't understand it. Hypothetically, a chapter that ONLY recruited juniors every year would still have members if there were 1000 juniors going through rush. It's just that membership would generally be two years, and not 3 or 4. I honestly just don't see why juniors are immediately cut from some chapters after first round, for no other reason than that they are juniors? As if they have nothing to contribute? In many campus organizations, you can be a member for 3 months and then become president, and things work out great! If someone could explain why it is a disadvantage for a chapter to take juniors I would greatly appreciate it.

/end hijack

I totally agree...But for some people who are double majors like myself we will be there for two and half or three years then we will be there as long as a sophomore. Also when you think about it and I know they don't know this when they pick new members, but they might pick a freshman who can't stay in and has to drop out. That junior that they dropped might have been able to stay and be a wonderful sister. I understand the concept around taking juniors, but I also believe more schools should also take "free juniors" so more women could have the chance of being a great sister in any NPC.

[InseparableDI]

i know this is kind of late about DPhiE being very jewish,
however it was non-secretarian, not founded to be Jewish
in my chapter, im the only one..however i just was initiated in the spring and there was a senior who i took over the "token jew" spot from

[Leslie Anne]

Hi everyone! I'm back.

I have to chime in on the discussion about juniors. I like the idea of free juniors because, yes, they still have something to contribute. But like FuzzieAlum and SydneyK said, having too many juniors can present some problems.

KDs, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that holding the office of Assistant Treasurer is a pre-requisite to being Treasurer. If there were only juniors there would never be a Treasurer (or at least there would only be one for half the school year since officer installation is half way through the school year).

Since I pledged KD as a junior with at least 2 1/2 years left, I guess I'm biased and would like to see more juniors given bids.


On another topic that was brought up, I think that the advisor of Water Skiing probably told my big sis privately and my big sis decided to tell me why I was being cut. If I hadn’t had a previous history with the chapter it would have been just like any other cut when a chapter doesn’t think you have a good enough GPA to pledge. I also never felt that I was promised a bid from them at all. I always new it was a risk.

Fortunately, I’ve never wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t dropped out my sophomore year. Yes, it would have been really nice to have another year in a sorority but I don’t blame Water Skiing for it. It’s just one of those things that happen in life. Thinking about it now, I’m pretty certain that I would have ended up where I am now. I don’t always think that “you end up where you belong” but in my case I believe it’s true.




Preference Night

I don’t recall which chapters invited me back to Preference. All I know is that I went to Skiing and Tennis. From all those years, I only remember one outfit I wore during Rush and that was the one I wore to this Preference night. It was a very pale pink, ankle-length flapper style dress. I think it worked well with my short bobbed hair. I felt great in it.

When I walked into Skiing, Nina greeted me. She was such a warm, lovely girl. I felt very comfortable with her and with the chapter in general. I felt at ease there. They had a beautiful ceremony and I even teared up a bit. I left feeling content, which, at this point, was a very good thing.

At Tennis, Jeannine met me at the door. I wasn’t expecting that but I was very happy. We talked for a while and then all the rushees were brought into a circle around a fountain with our rushers behind us. The chapter president spoke and then the girls sang while their candles were lit one by one by the sister next to them. Jeannine gave me a flower and whispered in my ear to take a petal, drop it into the fountain and make a wish. It was beautiful. She gave me a hug as I left the house and I nearly began to cry.

I didn’t want to get too emotionally attached again. From the beginning I had loved the graceful elegance of Tennis. Something about the chapter tugged at my heart. I knew that it was likely that I wouldn’t get a bid there though. My junior status was definitely a problem.

I signed my bid card putting Tennis first and Skiing second. It would be wonderful if I got my first choice, but I wouldn’t be unhappy with a bid to Skiing either. My only fear was that I wouldn’t receive a bid at all.



Bid Day....coming up as fast as my fingers can fly.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Jeannine gave me a flower and whispered in my ear to take a petal, drop it into the fountain and make a wish. It was beautiful. She gave me a hug as I left the house and I nearly began to cry.

*sniff*
(I hope your wish is the same as mine.)

I can't wait for Bid Day!!!!!

[kathykd2005]

Such a great thread Thank you for sharing it with us!!!!

[honeychile]

"Retro on the Rocks with a Twist"?!?!?!?!??!?!

My dear Leslie Anne, that was a veritable rollercoaster of a recruitment ride! And such a happy ending for everyone! Thank you, thank you for sharing your tale, especially in such a lovely way - the graphics just served to highlight your storytelling capabilities! Easily the best of the Retro Threads!!

Such a Wonderful Storyteller, like the Troubadors of Old!!