Who here knows what it's like to go without?

I have experienced just about everything that has been mentioned in this thread. I grew up very poor. My brothers and I also had to wear the same pants more than once in a one week because we didn't have a lot of clothes. We also had our utilities shut off many times, didn't have a vehicle many times, and couldn't participate in a lot of school activities that required money. Once I got older, my mother shared with me how she had to shoplift for baby food and milk when my older brother and I were babies.

Even though we didn't have a lot, my mother always made sure that the few clothes we had were always clean, and we always had food to eat.

Growing up poor has allowed me to appreciate all of the blessings that I have received, and how far I have come. Yes, I am on a VERY tight budget right now, but my childhood and life struggles have made me the strong, independent woman I am today.

[Dionysus]

I only experienced something like this a short period in my life (15-16), but it was still awful and I still rememeber everything about it.

-My parents pawned everything under the sun.
-Selling our nice sunday outfits to consignment shops.
-Car reprossesions.
-My dad selling baked goods and hot tamales without a license.
-I remember my mom getting really sick, but wouldn't get treated because she had no health insurance....wait maybe she had insurance but couldn't afford the co-pay. Something like that.
-Piling 5-7 people in a raggedy cadillac

Sorta funny looking back at it, but wasn't funny at all when we experienced it.

[Wonderful1908]

I did not experience this as a child but as an adult. We went through a very hard time for about a year. I had to pawn alot, I even pawned my wedding rings, my son broke his arm in between me transferring jobs and he had no medical care, so we couldn't even take him to get the permanent cast fitted. I couldn't even fill his $10 prescription of motrin. We had no water for a couple of weeks, we were just trying to hold onto to our house and live. My car was tripping my husbands car was broke, it was horrible. This wasn't in the all so distant past......

So I am humbled and grateful for all that I have and I appreciate it now. This is probably why my husband tries to spoil me now, he feels guilty for what happended. However looking at us from the outside you would have never guessed in a million years.

So God is faithful and so good to me. He keeps his promises and is a redeemer. I went today and got me feet and nails done, went to the mall and spent $300, and came home in my BMW. I say that not to brag but to confirm God answers prayers and moves us out of lonely and bad situations.

[KAPital PHINUst]

Oh, I most definately know what it's like to go without. Having to forego field trips due to lack of funds, oh yeah. Utility disconnections, been there done that (electric disconnection Monday Sept 9, 1985 that lasted 4 days, and gas shut off due to old pipes and water heater system 9/28/89 that lasted about 3 weeks).

Having to scrape up change to buy a 43 cent pack of Hostess Chip Flips (which were IMHO so delicious) or a 25 cent Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie (this was circa 1983-85).


I remember being promised an allowance of 30 cents for each time I emptied a “loaded” mousetrap (and amassing close to $10—in 1982 dollars, mind you, within a month’s time that my mother never paid me for). Subsequently, I never had to empty any more mousetraps after that. About a year later, I was given an allowance of $1 per week and was paid every 2 weeks—which lasted maybe a couple of months before that came to an end. I received for my 10th birthday a whopping $2.25 in cash—6 months later I visited my Aunt Rozina in Pittsburgh and she game me $5 for no reason at all. I thought I was big ballin’ for a kid.

I was so accustomed to making chump change, if I ever had over $10 in my pocket at any given time; I thought I was a millionaire (or close to it).

When I was 12 years old, I amassed $15 in birthday money so I opened up my first savings account at Bank Ohio (now National City) and got my own little bankbook. I thought I was the MAN—until the bank started charging my account $5 a month in bogus service fees. My mother promptly closed the account and reimbursed me the $5. What the fuss kinda gangster mess was that? A big bank such as Bank Ohio charging a kid such bogus fees. Was someone on the pipe to be doing stuff like that?


Wearing clothes from Charity Newsies, did that too. Having food with the white box and black lettering that just said "CEREAL" or "BEANS" ala Chris Rock's stand-up bit, I can relate, and not just the government-issued food, but from a now-defunct chain supermarket called Big Bear that had no-name brand food.

Buying groceries on credit from a corner store called Little Giant, (I bet some of you young folk didn't know you could do such a thing). My family went off welfare in 1986 and I felt a burden being lifted off the family as a result.

I remember being “upgraded” from free to reduced price school lunches in 10th grade. I also remember at the age of 14 being denied a summer job via my city’s Private Industry Council because my family made too much money. I actually found that denial a thinly veiled compliment and was actually flattered.

I also remember eating free box lunches in the summertime at the local Recreation and Parks summer program at the local playgrounds and recreation centers. Does any other city besides mine have something to that effect? You gotta love those turkey sandwiches that smelled like someone’s B.O.

I remember as a teenager, my appetite starting to grow. Those portions Mom gave me as a kid wasn't cutting it anymore. The one thing I remember inventing to eat to hold me over until dinner was a "spice pizza", which was a slice of toasted bread with ketchup, numerous spices from the spice cabinet (chili powder, onion powder, etc.) salami bits, and government cheese all toasted in the toaster oven and served hot. Delicious!!

But for what it was worth, my family did without many things, but we were never evicted, and we never went hungry. Praise God.

[MeezDiscreet]

When I was in elementary school and would get out of school, if my dad wasn't home, I would go to my neighbor's house. I had to call my mom as soon as I got there everyday and she would just ask how was school and we would talk for about 5 to 10 minutes about my day while she was at work. One day, she made it a point to tell me to make sure I did all of my homework while I was at my neighbor's house. When my parents got home (we had one car and my mom would ride the bus to work and my dad would pick her up from work), I found out why--our lights were out. My mother's strength through those times was so unflappable because as we talked, there was no hint of concern. It just seemed like our ordinary conversations.

[Senusret I]

I know what it's like to go without.

Never again.

[Gina1201]

This all brings back memories. Too often I remember the phone being off, the cable being out, having to call my grandparents to see if they could feed us for the night. This all began after my mother was hit by a drunk driver when I was 4. The effects of that day still linger for my family. Because of the accident, my mother could no longer work. She had to have two surgeries due to the ruptured disks in her back. Due to that my mother only recieved money at the beginning of the month (SSI) and the end (disability). Times were always good for about a week. But after the bills get paid times would be hard for the remaining three weeks. Especially since my mother had her own demons to deal with.

The only thing that held me through this rough period, which lasted from the age of 4 to 16 were my grandparents and my uncle. They were always their for me. In fact, my grandmother placed me in catholic school from kindergarten to sixth grade and then I received a scholarship to go to private school from seventh to twelth. Imagine what it's like to attend school with tons of rich kids who never know what it's like to be without while you go home and eat 5 wings for $1 from the corner store.

I pray and hope that if and when I do have children they will never have to go through what I went through.

[BlueReign]

What a wonderful thread for us to share!

I remember my so called friends hurting my feelings too many times during middle school/high school. I was the only one in our crowd on free or reduced lunch. At that time we used to get a roll of a month's worth of tickets. If there was no school or I was absent, I could use that ticket on another day and possibly get more than 1 lunch by going through a different line. So, one day we were planning to skip out and go to her house for lunch. She noticed me putting the ticket back in my pocket and she commented, "we don't accept food stamps at my house. sorry, couldn't resist" or something like that. She had no idea how much that hurt.

I also remember many times putting together my little outfits to not appear to be wearing the same thing. It didn't work cause another friend would talk about me to my face. I remember being asked "what you gon wear tomorrow?" And don't let me wear anything really nice or new. She continued to talk about how "shocked" she was to see me in that.

This whole "clothes" thing has continued to affect me in my life now. Even now I find myself shopping to get things that will go with what I already have so I will never appear to be wearing the same thing. I also have a recurring dream where I am either shopping and buying beautiful clothes or I am looking in my closet for something to wear and then I am walking through the high school cafeteria looking fabulous!

As a single mother of 3 I find myself spoiling my children and always trying to give them their heart's desire. I have a strained relationship with my mother now because she did not work (supposedly my dad wouldn't let her). I felt that if she had a job, we would not have been as unfortunate. We were never without food because my dad grew up hungry so keeping groceries in the house was his thing plus he was an awesome cook!

Sorry, this is so long but this is a great thread for us to share. It helps me now when I hear my students put down someone else for not having and they KNOW I will go off on them!

Now I am going to ask each of my kids if they consider themselves poor. Too often they say that their friends have more. I just want them to be happy but also thankful with their Jordan wearing/cell phone sporting selves! I break myself so they can keep up. I hope they realize that is why they have breakfast for dinner somethimes.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by KAPital PHINUst

Oh, I most definately know what it's like to go without. Having to forego field trips due to lack of funds, oh yeah. Utility disconnections, been there done that (electric disconnection Monday Sept 9, 1985 that lasted 4 days, and gas shut off due to old pipes and water heater system 9/28/89 that lasted about 3 weeks).

Having to scrape up change to buy a 43 cent pack of Hostess Chip Flips (which were IMHO so delicious) or a 25 cent Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie (this was circa 1983-85).


I remember being promised an allowance of 30 cents for each time I emptied a “loaded” mousetrap (and amassing close to $10—in 1982 dollars, mind you, within a month’s time that my mother never paid me for). Subsequently, I never had to empty any more mousetraps after that. About a year later, I was given an allowance of $1 per week and was paid every 2 weeks—which lasted maybe a couple of months before that came to an end. I received for my 10th birthday a whopping $2.25 in cash—6 months later I visited my Aunt Rozina in Pittsburgh and she game me $5 for no reason at all. I thought I was big ballin’ for a kid.

I was so accustomed to making chump change, if I ever had over $10 in my pocket at any given time; I thought I was a millionaire (or close to it).

When I was 12 years old, I amassed $15 in birthday money so I opened up my first savings account at Bank Ohio (now National City) and got my own little bankbook. I thought I was the MAN—until the bank started charging my account $5 a month in bogus service fees. My mother promptly closed the account and reimbursed me the $5. What the fuss kinda gangster mess was that? A big bank such as Bank Ohio charging a kid such bogus fees. Was someone on the pipe to be doing stuff like that?


Wearing clothes from Charity Newsies, did that too. Having food with the white box and black lettering that just said "CEREAL" or "BEANS" ala Chris Rock's stand-up bit, I can relate, and not just the government-issued food, but from a now-defunct chain supermarket called Big Bear that had no-name brand food.

Buying groceries on credit from a corner store called Little Giant, (I bet some of you young folk didn't know you could do such a thing). My family went off welfare in 1986 and I felt a burden being lifted off the family as a result.

I remember being “upgraded” from free to reduced price school lunches in 10th grade. I also remember at the age of 14 being denied a summer job via my city’s Private Industry Council because my family made too much money. I actually found that denial a thinly veiled compliment and was actually flattered.

I also remember eating free box lunches in the summertime at the local Recreation and Parks summer program at the local playgrounds and recreation centers. Does any other city besides mine have something to that effect? You gotta love those turkey sandwiches that smelled like someone’s B.O.

I remember as a teenager, my appetite starting to grow. Those portions Mom gave me as a kid wasn't cutting it anymore. The one thing I remember inventing to eat to hold me over until dinner was a "spice pizza", which was a slice of toasted bread with ketchup, numerous spices from the spice cabinet (chili powder, onion powder, etc.) salami bits, and government cheese all toasted in the toaster oven and served hot. Delicious!!

But for what it was worth, my family did without many things, but we were never evicted, and we never went hungry. Praise God.

::fanning myself:: lawd memories! not ones that i prefer. but yeah. my mom used to make a huge put of spagetti at the beginning of the week, hoping it would last. by thursday, friday, we were so over spagetti. even now if i had to go without spagetti in my life, i would be OK. same thing with Ramen noodles. i didnt understand when i got to college why everyone was so ga-ga over them - as far as i was concerned, it was poor ppl's food - 10 for $1 you know? these fools were paying as much as 35 cents a pack for one!

them free school lunches, man! lunch tickets were a serious business. after 6th grade if you ate school lunch, you got ragged on cause it meant you couldnt afford food from the snack line (they sold hot pretzels, cookies, juice, and some other mess). i would save my $ for DAYS to get a pretzel like it was no big deal. even worse was school breakfast - you had to get to school like an hour early which meant getting up an hour early, which my mother found real convienent to get to work. and THEN all the bullies used to jack kids for their free lunch tickets and sell them to OTHER kids to make money. shame, po folks stealing from other po folks!

as if i didnt have enough to be laughed at for (overweight, bad clothes, few clothes, awkward overall) i was eating school lunch - and liked it!


i've gone without in so many ways growing up and it hurts to see my younger siblings take some of what we have NOW for granted. i didnt have name brand sneakers until 8th grade, and i was only allowed to wear them on certain days (i wasnt even a bad kid - stellar grades, one of the good kids... WTF?). we didnt have cable until i was like 16 (and it was bootleg, kept going out and what not). we didnt get the internet until my senior year of h.s. was evicted twice, one for back rent, the second time by a fire, which made my first year of college REALLY hard. it pissed me off, hearing my college friends talk about "OMG im so poor, i cant afford to go out drinking tonight." man please. do you have somewhere to call home? where's your next meal coming from? can you go to the ATM and depend of money coming out?

times like that make you really believe in something higher. but times like now that i DO have convince me that there is something higher. man, i am so grateful!

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by tld221

as if i didnt have enough to be laughed at for (overweight, bad clothes, few clothes, awkward overall) i was eating school lunch - and liked it!

absolutely right.

when i hit 3rd grade, i was put into a gifted program for my county. i was miles ahead of all the other kids, and it did me some good to be challenged. what a mistake...

not only was i in classes with the "upper crust" of the area, i was also the only black child in the class. talk about a hit on my self esteem...i dont blame my parents, it did me a world of good in the end, but also sparked a "dark skinned issue" in my head that challenged me up until a few years ago. when all the new, cool, expensive stuff came out, i was the only one who didnt have it, and for some reason i didnt think it was because of money, i thought it was skin...

[Lyoness]

Memories... I don't think we knew anything was really bad until we hit middle school/high school. We weren't spoiled but my mother definitely didn't let us go without. My brother and I went to private Catholic schools until 10th grade on scholarship and there were so many other kids like us, we were okay. After my mother lost her GOOD job (downsizing ) , that was the beginning of the end for us. She got another job fairly quickly but it wasn't the same. My stepdad wasn't the most reliable so we stayed with stuff getting cut off, cars taken back, begging so I could take my college finals every semester. We never recovered financially and when I was in college, they divorced and we lost our house. I still hate thinking about cleaning out our house. My mom couldn't deal with it so I did it myself. I was homeless for about 4 months after school, bouncing around from house to house until I got stable. That was probably one of the worst periods of my life. I can just imagine how bad it was for her though. It's been a good number of years but I don't think any of us has really recovered emotionally from it.
My mother grew up dirt poor and buying her house was her way of dealing with her own demons from childhood. You all mentioned wearing the same clothes and being teased and stuff. That was her childhood.
Someone mentioned the Sweet 16 show. I HATE IT!! Spoiled brats who think money grows on trees. I take this experience with me everyday when I go to work, to school, to church... so I always know what I'm working for. I have a pretty good job now and a really nice place. God has really blessed me.

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by Lyoness

Memories... I don't think we knew anything was really bad until we hit middle school/high school. We weren't spoiled but my mother definitely didn't let us go without. My brother and I went to private Catholic schools until 10th grade on scholarship and there were so many other kids like us, we were okay. After my mother lost her GOOD job (downsizing ) , that was the beginning of the end for us. She got another job fairly quickly but it wasn't the same. My stepdad wasn't the most reliable so we stayed with stuff getting cut off, cars taken back, begging so I could take my college finals every semester. We never recovered financially and when I was in college, they divorced and we lost our house. I still hate thinking about cleaning out our house. My mom couldn't deal with it so I did it myself. I was homeless for about 4 months after school, bouncing around from house to house until I got stable. That was probably one of the worst periods of my life. I can just imagine how bad it was for her though. It's been a good number of years but I don't think any of us has really recovered emotionally from it.
My mother grew up dirt poor and buying her house was her way of dealing with her own demons from childhood. You all mentioned wearing the same clothes and being teased and stuff. That was her childhood.
Someone mentioned the Sweet 16 show. I HATE IT!! Spoiled brats who think money grows on trees. I take this experience with me everyday when I go to work, to school, to church... so I always know what I'm working for. I have a pretty good job now and a really nice place. God has really blessed me.

And aint that what makes the struggle worth it?!

[Lyoness]

Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet

And aint that what makes the struggle worth it?!

^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes Indeed!!!!

[AKA_Monet]

Fellow greekchatters!

These stories amaze me!

My story: I never had to want for nothing... My folks made it their life's mission to make sure my brother and I had all we desired. While growing up, as a teen, my father provided me with things where I had to tell him to STOP! He still tries to provide me with "gifts"--these gifts are like a "Trojan horse"

However, my mother did grow up very poor. Outhouses, no way of warmth in the winter. Only had an icebox after she left the house. Sometime starved. So, she taught me how to maintain and keep the toys and things that I was given. Because she had older sisters and brothers, they did things for her so that she could get an education. She got an college degree at a time that she should not have been anything. And she made sure that my brother and I would not suffer the pangs of poverty.

That is the one thing I admire about my folks, then did not forget their roots. My father's dental office is in a very poor area town. He actually barters for dental work. However, please refrain for asking for his assistance... My mother, retired as a principal of an inner city elementary school. She made sure those students in less than favorable homes excelled in their education while she worked at that school.

As a result, I serve those who are less fortunate than me. I strongly believe that through Church and my Sorority. I think it sucks when those who actually have been given an abundant life do not step up and make things happen. Even if it is spending time with the elderly to tutoring students, no matter, there is no excuse when God had given one plenty to hoard it all for himself or herself...

[christiangirl]

I can honestly say that you all are inspirations and true testimonies to what the human spirit does in the face of adversity. I know that sounds all Hallmark-ish, but it's true. I didn't have a childhood even close to this because my parents made sure of it. When my parents were young, they came from 2 black families not too long after the Great Depression. Both of them grew up with literally nothing and both of them swore their kids would never go through that. My parents were determined to prove to themselves that they would never have to tell their children "no" because the funds simply weren't there. As a result, my sister and I had what my pastor calls the "Neiman Marcus" upbringing. We each had our own rooms in our not extravagant, but nice house. We both grew up with a backyard full of toys and more clothes than we knew what to do with. Basically, we had more material stuff than we did parents. I would gladly go back and trade some of that to have had more support and involvement from them than their money, but that's another story entirely.

Most people say that I'm spoiled, but I don't believe that. One thing my parents did their best on was to teach me that anything worth having is something I have to work for. While I never really had to struggle for anything, I did work for a lot of the big things they gave me (nothing compared to what you've gone through, I'm sure). As an adult, I often work to earn things that are just offered to me for free (Some say I'm stupid for that, but I don't ever want to be the spoiled little girl who doesn't know how to earn something.) And my mom got me involved in community service early and I haven't stopped since. She made sure that I knew that there were others out there who worked just as hard as our family, but didn't have nearly what we did and that it was my duty to give it back to our community. I believe that wholeheartedly and I think that's what makes me a giving person. I'll give something away before I'll sell it and do volunteer work as often as time permits. If I don't have a reason to say "no" then I won't. I've been told that I'm too giving and that people are going to take advantage of me and I know they have and more probably will. But that won't deter me from giving because there are people in this world who need it. God has blessed me with a lot in this world and so I have no problem giving it up--it was never really mine in the first place.