Meeting an Online Date

kathykd2005 · #1 06-28-2007, 12:33 AM

Crashing again because Professor asked me to

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I agree with those that say that the internet is just another form of interaction. My husband and I communicated via the internet for months before we met, and like every one said, you need to make sure you are safe (and this goes for r/t meetings, too). True, people can lie about who they are, but you can also look at it another way--sometimes, since you don't see the person, you can truly fall in love with who they are on the INSIDE.

christiangirl · #2 06-28-2007, 05:14 AM

I have dated 2 guys I met online--mind you, I'm a youngin', so by "online" I mean facebook and myspace.

Mr. FB turned out to be a RUFF RUFF DOG.

We talked for a couple weeks after he "approached" me, then met because our schools were close to each other. We talked everyday for 2 months and were definitley "more than friends" when I found out about his fiancee (on Valentine's Day, by the way). Don't know if they're still together, one of my friends turned out to know one of the fiancee's friends and it all got back to her. I swore I'd never date a man off the net again, but Mr. MS caught me off guard.

Mr. MS was actually very decent. I used to work in a security office, so I ran a mini-background check on him. He was totally legit and everything he told me about himself checked out. Only then (after about a month), did I agree to meet him for a movie. We went for a walk around the plaza afterward, hit it off, and ended up dating for about 4 or 5 months (ALWAYS in public places). It didn't work out, but it was worth it; it was a good reminder that there are some good men out there; I'd almost forgotten. So just be careful and don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. The net is fishy, but you might find a good catch.

lovehaiku84 · #3 06-28-2007, 10:31 AM

I met my current beau (of about a year and a half) via Yahoo Personals. At first I was kind of wary about trying online dating, but since I had met a bunch of cads at school, through friends, etc. I figured why not try something different? I still don't really understand why so many people continue to look down on online dating, as if those who go this route are inherently more likely to be dishonest about who they are/what they are about. In all dating situations I think that it is important to be safe/smart because the cute person that you meet in the bookstore or wherever is, in my opinion, just as likely to be a liar, psycho, etc. as a person that you meet via the internet.

Just my .02 cents.

OOhsoflyDELTA#9 · #4 06-28-2007, 07:26 PM

I've done the online thing before and its really no different then meeting someone out and about in terms of honesty...if someone is going to lie they will regardless of the venue....the pro to meeting someone on the net is that like someone else mentioned, you can actually get to know someone well if they are forced to communicate with you through writing...someone's talk game could be tight and they could be dumb as a bag of rocks...you can't hide your dumbness when you have to write your thoughts out.......I'd had two sucessful relationships that started online...successful meaning that both men were normal, handsome, non psycho dudes....I coulda met either one out somewhere and got the same results.....no wackos....I know 2 couples that met on the net and are now happily married....I believe it is indeed just a sign of the times...

AKA_Monet · #5 06-28-2007, 11:05 PM

My husband and I met via email intro through a mutual acquantaince.

If you do write a "personal", hayle, ask for everything you desire in a mate and be creative. Make it challenging and see if he or she can live up to the challenge.

Folks do lie. But, there are some key questions you can ask that no matter what the answer is, you get your answer.

I did write a personal before I was married. My personal just said that "the Universe is my Sanctuary and if you are ready to be under my realm of belief, the welcome, assante and ashe..."

Speak to them IM or email at a nondescript site. Then when you feel comfortable, have them call you.

And as crazy as it sounds, make the person meet you at church. If they say they can't, then, hey--you know! Better to know now and have the scrutiny by those who already are familiar with you...

preciousjeni · #6 07-07-2007, 11:23 PM

Just saw this thread. I know of several friends who have developed relationships with men they met online - and none of them met on dating sites. The meetings were all random (like Xanga, MySpace, Facebook, etc.) Three of my friends are now married to the men they met online.

I'm still wary of dating sites - but, Professor, I completely disagree with your assertion that a "special person will come and he will be sent by God not a dot com." God is in everything.

Your statement reminds me of the modern parable about the man whose house was flooding. When the water was very low, some friends came by in a big truck and asked him if he needed help. He said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Then, the water got higher and some friends came by in a boat. Upon asking if he required assistance, he replied again, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Finally, when the water was about to cover the roof of his house, a helicopter hovered overhead and he was asked one last time if he needed help. He still said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." After he died, he asked God why He hadn't saved him. God said, "I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter."

The same applies here. God is in everything, even dating sites.

NinjaPoodle · #7 07-11-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Your statement reminds me of the modern parable about the man whose house was flooding. When the water was very low, some friends came by in a big truck and asked him if he needed help. He said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Then, the water got higher and some friends came by in a boat. Upon asking if he required assistance, he replied again, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Finally, when the water was about to cover the roof of his house, a helicopter hovered overhead and he was asked one last time if he needed help. He still said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." After he died, he asked God why He hadn't saved him. God said, "I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter."

The same applies here. God is in everything, even dating sites.

LOL but I like that J! Point WELL taken. By the way, my date went quite well.

rhoyaltempest · #8 07-11-2007, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

I've done the online thing before and its really no different then meeting someone out and about in terms of honesty...if someone is going to lie they will regardless of the venue....the pro to meeting someone on the net is that like someone else mentioned, you can actually get to know someone well if they are forced to communicate with you through writing...someone's talk game could be tight and they could be dumb as a bag of rocks...you can't hide your dumbness when you have to write your thoughts out.......I'd had two sucessful relationships that started online...successful meaning that both men were normal, handsome, non psycho dudes....I coulda met either one out somewhere and got the same results.....no wackos....I know 2 couples that met on the net and are now happily married....I believe it is indeed just a sign of the times...

This is soooo true and writing back and forth can be so intimate. Also, I don't know why some people think that meeting people in person in random places (gas station, mall, supermarket, park, nightclub etc.) is less risky than meeting for a date with someone you met online. No matter where you meet the person, on the first date(s), you should be careful, meet and leave them in a public place, and not go home with them. I dated two guys I met online and I've been married to one of them for going on 3 years now. So I definitely say that those who refuse to date people they meet online could be missing out. There are a lot of people out there that don't like meeting people in the street. I think I might still be single if it wasn't for the internet because I don't like the club scene and I don't like being approached in random places either, so for me cyberspace was more comfortable.

P.S.

I met my husband at www.BlackSinglesConnection.com. When I was on there some of the people seemed very serious about finding mates and lots of people posted testimonials about finding their spouses...I posted mine too but I don't know if it's still there. I remember that there was also a lot of different people of African descent on there, not just African Americans.