Too fat to recruit: or, DePauw, the Sequel

[AnchorAlumna]

I'll be brutal (yes, I'm overweight, but I'm old)...overweight young women need to realize that they could hurt the chapter as much as help it. This is not to say they cannot be important members with much to contribute. But as a wise national officer once said, in recruitment, first impressions are EVERYTHING. If this young lady can be mature about it, she can tell them that she understands, and offer to do something helpful behind the scenes during recruitment, or at least during the preparation week. Doesn't she want her chapter to survive?

[honeychile]

Did anyone else see both a picture of the DePauw women who were allowed to stay and those who weren't? IMHO, the weight/looks issue was highly overstated - I actually thought that many of those asked to take alumna status looked much better than some who weren't.

But with Photoshop, who knows anymore?

[Drolefille]

I disagree. To me, much more important than the size of the girls who rushed me were their personalities. If you can talk to me and get me engaged, then you should be rushing me. If she's one heavy girl in an average sized sorority, her presence is not going to turn off girls from joining. And frankly if it did I wouldn't want those girls to be my sisters anyway.

The DZs at DePauw should have just shut up and taken it too if they really cared about their chapter, right?

[AlphaFrog]

I'm kinda mixed on this. I understand the importance of image at a school where Greek life is everything. I also understand those who would not want to call someone a sister who judged the group solely on apperance.

I would think they could strike a compromise and let the girl do behind the scenes things for the first two or so rounds, but then let her attend prefs, as the "first impressions" stage would be over.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

I think that if your situation is already this bad that people who are going through recruitment already know they wouldn't join your organization and if you've been labeled "fat" or "bad" or "small" then one or two fat girls in a room full of skinny girls may not make a difference.

The women who you are going to get coming back are the ones who are willing to see you for who you really are and won't care and like you. But there usually aren't a lot of those and if there are they usually like somewhere else as well.
They are more willing to go there because they don't have the same reputation despite recognizing that there's nothing wrong with your chapter. And then if you're lucky to get the ones "left over" and the few who truly don't' mind and really love you and if they are willing to accept the bid then you'd work from there.

[adpiucf]

If I were that woman mentioned by the OP, I would stick up for myself. Recruitment is about appearances, yes, but if she wants to be on the floor, speak up.

I know recruitment is about first impressions, but if it is that important to her, she should say her piece.

I also know that PNMs can be very judgmental and I know that at recruitment we want to show the best of the best about our chapter. If a member is going to let herself be steamrolled like this, though, she probably isn't going to be a good rusher-- fat, thin, hook-nosed or pigeon-toed. Someone who is a strong rusher is going to make a PNM forget all about those things within moments of meeting her, and I knew three such women in college who were members of the top chapters... they were exceptional and all of them were plus-sized. I realize these people are the exception (regardless of your body type!), but if you met these women-- wow.

ETA: if the chapter is in this much trouble and so small, they really can't afford to have anyone off the floor.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

If I were that woman mentioned by the OP, I would stick up for myself. Recruitment is about appearances, yes, but if she wants to be on the floor, speak up.

I know recruitment is about first impressions, but if it is that important to her, she should say her piece.

I also know that PNMs can be very judgmental and I know that at recruitment we want to show the best of the best about our chapter. If a member is going to let herself be steamrolled like this, though, she probably isn't going to be a good rusher-- fat, thin, hook-nosed or pigeon-toed.

ETA: if the chapter is in this much trouble and so small, they really can't afford to have anyone off the floor.

I think this sort of thing is crushing no matter how outgoing you are normally. It's a betrayal by your sisters. She may yet stand up for herself once the hurt subsides and the anger at being treated like that grows.

[ForeverRoses]

First of all, I disagree with the "stay away during recruitment". There are so many things that need to be done during recruitment other than actually talking to the PNMs. I know in my chapter we had a few shy girls who didn't like to recruit, so they did Membership Selection or Refreshments, or helped with the props for the skit. None of these were considered better or worse than recruiting, just different.

Second of all, I think grooming is more important than actual size. If you wear clothing that flatters your size, then I don't see that size matters that much.

I remember a stuggling chapter during my recruitment had assistance from another school. I went to open house and first parties there, however I never spoke to a member of the actual chapter. I ended up dropping them after first parties, because I still had no idea what the vibe of the chapter was!

[AlwaysSAI]

This sort of thing really bothers me.

Here's my issue: I have a mild case of cerebral palsy and I walk with a limp. If I were a member of an NPC, would I be asked not to participate?

I am one of the strongest "chatters" in both of my chapters. I have the ability to talk to anyone like they have been my best friend for 10 years, which gets us a lot of members.

Asking a member to "lay low" during recruitment is an injustice to her status as a sister and the PNMs coming through recruitment. She would not be able to meet any of the PNMs and therefore, she wouldn't be able to vote, right?

Voting on NMs is very important to me as an active member because it helps to ensure that we get quality members who will sustain the life of our chapter and uphold our reputation. She did not become a Pi Chi, possibly, for that very reason.

It's not right. This woman has rights as a sister and one of those is to actively participate in recruitment and bid decisions. She is apart of the image of the chapter. I would much more, worry about the sister that was seen sloshed drunk at a party before recruitment than a sister that is overwieght.

Other things could be contributing to their low numbers. I doubt it is solely based on the weight of this one girl.

I would not advise her to turn in her badge. If she feels betrayed, I would advise her to take alumae status. There are many opportunities and benefits to maintianing affiliation with the national organization.

I hope she takes a stand for herself and any others that may be in her situation.

[DSTCHAOS]

This is superficial.

The people in that chapter and/or national organization who think this makes a grain of sense need to depledge.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Things like this make me a little ashamed to be Greek. I support going Greek at my school. I just really don't think we have that problem here. I haven't noticed it, anyway. Not that it's all peachy keen 24/7, but I don't see image as an issue on this campus. Everyone gets to participate in Recruitment. But I don't support that type of Greek system. Sorry. To be that judgemental AFTER promising to be a supportive sister to every OTHER sister is against my personal values.

I know I'm idealistic, it won't change, blahblahblah...but if sisters will damage another sisters' self esteem like that because they are actively recruiting girls who won't want to join their organization if there's one overweight girl...something is wrong. Something needs to be changed. Me, personally...I would have a large problem with admitting PNMs that judgemental into my chapter. I've only been on the "other side" once so far, but I haven't met one like that yet...thank goodness.

[KSUViolet06]

Stories like this make me glad I don't go to a highly competitive recruitment school.

Question: Why would a national HQ be pressuring an already small chapter to exclude certain sisters from recruitment? That would only make them look smaller.

[fantASTic]

That's a rough situation. Really, the chapter should not ask her to do that; as others have stated, they need her desperately on the floor, and it's not right. Sisters don't treat each other like that.

HOWEVER...

I am somewhat hesitant to believe that this is the whole story. Because it is told by the young woman herself, it's very possible this is NOT the real story. Often people who are insecure about one part of themselves [e.g. weight, appearance, intelligence/school, etc] blame all their problems on that one thing. It's very possible that last year at recruitment, she was detrimental to the chapter because of her personality or other reasons. However, I very much doubt that she would say, "They don't want me to come to recruitment because I am dull and PNM's can't talk to me."

I'm not saying she IS, of course, but it's a definate possibility that I'm not willing to overlook.

[carnation]

I have to go with AnchorAlumna and FanASTic on this one. First, we haven't heard the whole story. The woman's overweight but she could be a total jerk and maybe she dropped through the cracks and got a bid in a weird way. Don't laugh, I've even seen it happen to competitive sororities--these girls are called slip-throughs. Now if it is only because she's overweight, that's mean.

The other thing is, as AnchorAlum says: teenagers (ie, PNMs) are often very shallow. You know how many times people have said on here that they didn't want of be part of the fat-girl sorority. I suupose that's where her group is coming from. I saw a sorority's page in a rush booklet a few years back and it displayed a picture of the last year's pledge class; over half were extremely overweight. I told my husband that that sorority had probably just signed their death warrant and sure enough, they were gone in no time.

No, I'm not saying that what this sorority did was right. I'm just trying to figure out where they're coming from..but I have to wonder if we've heard the whole story.

[TPA85]

What in the world ever happened to "It's what's on the inside that matters"?????
I can't believe ANY National would do that. I would turn in my badge with no hesitation. Sisters are supposed to love you for who you are, not what you look like.
That's just disgusting and a disgrace.