What to tell overconfident PNMs

[Phimuteach]

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

I believe that 2 is better than 1.

If someone PMs me the details, I'll put one in. As of right now, I know the gist of the story, but not enough to write one .

[NUBlue&Blue]

I think that I said this before, but on one of my daughter's future college facebook groups, one girl actually posted all the stereotypes of the sororities (as told to her by her boyfriend or brother or something). They have another group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". I am thinking "shut up or you'll be GDI". And then there are the Facebook photos open for all the world (or anybody in your network) to see. For pete's sake, you don't have to take 60 pictures and post ALL of them everytime you get into a car or go to a party with your friends. I think that so many kids just always get everything they want that they can't imagine that they wouldn't be the one doing the choosing.

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

I agree.

Alot of PNMs think that recruitment is "choosing a sorority." It's not. I think there'd be fewer overconfident (and subsequently disappointed) girls in recruitment if they truly understood how recruitment worked.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I agree.

Alot of PNMs think that recruitment is "choosing a sorority." It's not. I think there'd be fewer overconfident (and subsequently disappointed) girls in recruitment if they truly understood how recruitment worked.

This is one of the reasons I dislike the term "potential new member" in place of "rushee." It makes it sound like becoming a new member is a sure thing. Rushee is someone going through the rush process, no more, no less. It's much more accurate and doesn't assume anything about your "potential."

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This is one of the reasons I dislike the term "potential new member" in place of "rushee." It makes it sound like becoming a new member is a sure thing. Rushee is someone going through the rush process, no more, no less. It's much more accurate and doesn't assume anything about your "potential."

Potential just means they COULD potentially be a new member, it doesn't necessarily mean that they hold potential themselves. It's basically just telling them they are a "maybe" new member; it's not a sure thing. It would definitely be different if members of houses were telling PNMs that they have "potential," however.

[33girl]

Yeah, you'd think that - I mean every female who has the GPA and isn't Greek - including women who are graduating in 3 weeks - is a "potential new member." However, I think that including the word "member" in any context gives some women the wrong impression. I don't like calling uninitiated women/pledges new members either, but that is another thread.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Yeah, you'd think that - I mean every female who has the GPA and isn't Greek - including women who are graduating in 3 weeks - is a "potential new member." However, I think that including the word "member" in any context gives some women the wrong impression. I don't like calling uninitiated women/pledges new members either, but that is another thread.

Understandable viewpoint--I knew people that felt the same way about the term "new member," because they weren't technically members yet. I also knew people that didn't like new members to call them "sisters," because they weren't technically their sisters yet (not necessarily in my org, btw ), until after initiation.

[ADPi Conniebama]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This is one of the reasons I dislike the term "potential new member" in place of "rushee." It makes it sound like becoming a new member is a sure thing. Rushee is someone going through the rush process, no more, no less. It's much more accurate and doesn't assume anything about your "potential."

GOOD ARGUMENT MEE TOO DITTO """"""""""""""""

[carnation]

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

I think that I said this before, but on one of my daughter's future college facebook groups, one girl actually posted all the stereotypes of the sororities (as told to her by her boyfriend or brother or something). They have another group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". I am thinking "shut up or you'll be GDI". And then there are the Facebook photos open for all the world (or anybody in your network) to see. For pete's sake, you don't have to take 60 pictures and post ALL of them everytime you get into a car or go to a party with your friends. I think that so many kids just always get everything they want that they can't imagine that they wouldn't be the one doing the choosing.

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

WHAT SHE SAID!!!!

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by carnation

WHAT SHE SAID!!!!

Oh yeah!

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

. . . They have another [facebook] group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". . . .

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

Oh man. It seems to me that young women who say on facebook, etc. -- for all the world to see -- that "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best" are setting themselves up. Wouldn't it be embarrassing after publicly saying that to end up bidless or in what the woman has essentially labeled a "lesser" sororrity?

Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"?

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Oh man. It seems to me that young women who say on facebook, etc. -- for all the world to see -- that "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best" are setting themselves up. Wouldn't it be embarrassing after publicly saying that to end up bidless or in what the woman has essentially labeled a "lesser" sororrity?

Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"?

Absolutely. It's hard to figure out how having a public facebook profile and comments could help a girl in any way, and it has a lot of power to hurt her recruitment.

[ClassicBeauty]

Ugh, when I went to orientation this summer, there was this girl who just did not know when to shut up. She came over to us when we were eating lunch, introduced herself, and then asked us if we were going to rush (almost every incoming freshman girl is I think). It should have stopped there, but no it didn't. She then preceeded to tell us EVERY stereotype about every sorority on campus and then told us she was only going to accept a bid from ABC and DEF because they were the best and had mixers with the best fraternaties. We seriously just sat there staring at her in disbelief in an awkward. Did she seriously just say that? I really didn't want to hear the stereotypes before I went into recruitment. I'm like still pissed at her for saying that.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"?

Yep, and that's what happens. We use the new RFM so the sororities don't have room for girls that they KNOW don't want to be there.

Here's a little story from my last recruitment about how things like Facebook & MySpace can affect recruitment:

There was a girl who publicly posted a MySpace blog about Sorority Info Night (pre rush event) in which she said she would "only join AB because they're the only one worth being in" and "the other 6 are loser ones."

When she met her Rho Chi, they became MySpace friends. The PX called her a few days before recruitment because she had seen this blog and she wanted to tell her that she should take it down or make it private because it could affect her recruitment if a sorority member saw it. She ignored her and kept it up anyway, figuring the PX was just exaggerating.

She visited all sororities on the first day of recruitment like everyone else. She told her PX that the blog didn't matter because "she was dropping everybody but AB the next day." Sometime between Sorority Info Night and the end of day 1, a sorority member did see it and we all know how small the sorority world is. Word travels fast and we all had seen it before long.

Well, the next day she shows up for Philanthropy Party (day 2) thinking she'd been invited back to all 7 like everyone else. Surprise! She was dropped by the 6 sororities she said were "for losers."

She was stunned. She told her PX that "SHE was supposed to be cutting THEM." Her PX told her that she was still invited to one chapter, AB (the only one she said anything good about).

So the girl was like "whatever, I only wanted to join AB anyway." Anyone using the new RFM knows that the biggest groups make the biggest cuts. She went to only AB that day, thinking everything was cool and she was going to get what she said in her blog that she wanted. Wrong! AB dropped her after that round and she was released from recruitment!

So this arrogant girl who thought she was only good enough for one sorority, ended up getting released by everyone after 2nd round. She was very upset, but her Rho Chi told her that she shouldn't have been so public with her opinions and should've been more open minded. She was so upset that she transfered to a new school after one semester.

Moral of the story: Be cautious of what you put out there, because you could ruin recruitment for yourself. Once you put things like this out there, it's public knowledge and you never know who could see it. You also never know who could tell someone else about it.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Okay, everybody hold hands and repeat.....

DISCRETION IS THE KEY...DISCRETION IS THE KEY.....DISCRETION IS THE KEY.

If you don't know what that means, then how about...SHUT YOUR MOUTH!