What to tell overconfident PNMs

SWTXBelle · #1 06-21-2007, 05:43 PM

Oh, alumnae write "negative recs" ( a bit of an oxymoron, but you know what I mean). I feel they need to be factual - not just "I don't like her" but "She has had 3 DUI convictions", or "She is already wearing your letters", or "She has made a habit of collecting ritual".Stuff like that . . .

Phimuteach · #2 06-21-2007, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

"She has made a habit of collecting ritual".Stuff like that . . .

Speaking of which......I'd really like to write a no-rec for the person described above. Though I have a feeling some of my sisters have done this already.

BetteDavisEyes · #3 06-21-2007, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phimuteach

Speaking of which......I'd really like to write a no-rec for the person described above. Though I have a feeling some of my sisters have done this already.

I believe that 2 is better than 1.

UGAalum94 · #4 06-21-2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

I believe that 2 is better than 1.

Are you all sure enough of all the details that you're really doing this?

AlexMack · #5 06-21-2007, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

Are you all sure enough of all the details that you're really doing this?

Yes.

BuckeyeTriDelta · #6 06-21-2007, 11:18 PM

I would if I knew the details (not that I'm asking for any). I'm trying to be mean or anything, but if she was wearing Tri Delta letters without being a member it would make me upset. Even after she has been told by people that this is not appropriate and about how the whole recruitment process works, she continues to "perp." I really don't have tolerance for that.

Phimuteach · #7 06-22-2007, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

I believe that 2 is better than 1.

If someone PMs me the details, I'll put one in. As of right now, I know the gist of the story, but not enough to write one

.

NUBlue&Blue · #8 06-23-2007, 12:53 AM

I think that I said this before, but on one of my daughter's future college facebook groups, one girl actually posted all the stereotypes of the sororities (as told to her by her boyfriend or brother or something). They have another group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". I am thinking "shut up or you'll be GDI". And then there are the Facebook photos open for all the world (or anybody in your network) to see. For pete's sake, you don't have to take 60 pictures and post ALL of them everytime you get into a car or go to a party with your friends. I think that so many kids just always get everything they want that they can't imagine that they wouldn't be the one doing the choosing.

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

KSUViolet06 · #9 06-23-2007, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

I agree.

Alot of PNMs think that recruitment is "choosing a sorority." It's not. I think there'd be fewer overconfident (and subsequently disappointed) girls in recruitment if they truly understood how recruitment worked.

33girl · #10 06-24-2007, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I agree.

Alot of PNMs think that recruitment is "choosing a sorority." It's not. I think there'd be fewer overconfident (and subsequently disappointed) girls in recruitment if they truly understood how recruitment worked.

This is one of the reasons I dislike the term "potential new member" in place of "rushee." It makes it sound like becoming a new member is a sure thing. Rushee is someone going through the rush process, no more, no less. It's much more accurate and doesn't assume anything about your "potential."

carnation · #11 06-23-2007, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

I think that I said this before, but on one of my daughter's future college facebook groups, one girl actually posted all the stereotypes of the sororities (as told to her by her boyfriend or brother or something). They have another group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". I am thinking "shut up or you'll be GDI". And then there are the Facebook photos open for all the world (or anybody in your network) to see. For pete's sake, you don't have to take 60 pictures and post ALL of them everytime you get into a car or go to a party with your friends. I think that so many kids just always get everything they want that they can't imagine that they wouldn't be the one doing the choosing.

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

WHAT SHE SAID!!!!

UGAalum94 · #12 06-23-2007, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

WHAT SHE SAID!!!!

Oh yeah!

exlurker · #13 06-23-2007, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

. . . They have another [facebook] group about going greek and many many girls have said "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best". . . .

My daughter has so many friends going to UGA--I just pray that we do not have another disappointing year. I have tried to talk to their mothers about getting the recs together, not getting your heart set on a certain sorority before you even get there, etc. and these girls are very aware of what happened last year, but I don't think they really grasp what it is going to be like.

One thing they need to KNOW is that "mutual selection" is not quite as mutual as they imagine. I think most of them believe they are in the power position, when it most definitely is the opposite.

Oh man. It seems to me that young women who say on facebook, etc. -- for all the world to see -- that "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best" are setting themselves up. Wouldn't it be embarrassing after publicly saying that to end up bidless or in what the woman has essentially labeled a "lesser" sororrity?

Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"?

UGAalum94 · #14 06-23-2007, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exlurker

Oh man. It seems to me that young women who say on facebook, etc. -- for all the world to see -- that "I'm rushing ABC" or "I'm looking at ABC and XYZ because they're supposed to be the best" are setting themselves up. Wouldn't it be embarrassing after publicly saying that to end up bidless or in what the woman has essentially labeled a "lesser" sororrity?

Another thing: what about current sorority actives who stumble across those declarations? Could that information just make it easier to cut someone? I mean, if a chapter absolutely has to make heavy or even moderate cuts due to release figure rules, wouldn't it be pretty simple to say "she's only interested in ..." and give her an early "buh-bye"?

Absolutely. It's hard to figure out how having a public facebook profile and comments could help a girl in any way, and it has a lot of power to hurt her recruitment.

ClassicBeauty · #15 06-23-2007, 05:34 PM

Ugh, when I went to orientation this summer, there was this girl who just did not know when to shut up. She came over to us when we were eating lunch, introduced herself, and then asked us if we were going to rush (almost every incoming freshman girl is I think). It should have stopped there, but no it didn't. She then preceeded to tell us EVERY stereotype about every sorority on campus and then told us she was only going to accept a bid from ABC and DEF because they were the best and had mixers with the best fraternaties. We seriously just sat there staring at her in disbelief in an awkward. Did she seriously just say that? I really didn't want to hear the stereotypes before I went into recruitment. I'm like still pissed at her for saying that.