What to tell overconfident PNMs

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by AOIILisa

I was just paging through one of my recent alum magazines and there is a real push for alumnae to write and send more recs. The article said that the majority of our chapters do not receive any MIFs (our recs are called MIFs) and this is something they would like to change. They have certainly made it easier, our MIFs are now done online and are electronically forwarded directly to the chapter - you attach the PNM resume, pic, etc, and you're good to go.

I would guess that most of the chapters that do receive MIFs are SEC chapters, but maybe another AOII here can confirm.

My chapter (U of Illinois - Big 10) received recs, but certainly not for all or even a majority of PNMs. Oklahoma and Oklahoma State (Big 12) are schools where every single PNM will have at least 1 rec to be considered. Many Big 12 schools have very competitive recruitments.

[kchaptergphib]

I know I'm not technically treading on membership selection info here, so don't flame me, but I wanted to say that a couple of years ago, everyone in our new member class had a recommendation letter. Every. Single. One. At Wisconsin.
Now, that was unusual, and certainly some recs were more moving, more helpful, etc., than others. In the past few years, I'd say our chapter gets 70-130 recs each fall. That's not a large percentage of the total number of women coming through recruitment, but it is way more than a typical quota. When we can fill a a couple of pledge classes with women on whom we have previous knowledge, it can make it harder to stand out if you *don't* have a rec. And if you're a legacy and don't have a recommendation- that ends up looking odd, because in the best case scenario, your legacy-maker is unaware of current rec/legacy policies or practice.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

My chapter (U of Illinois - Big 10) received recs, but certainly not for all or even a majority of PNMs.

Irishpipes, I'm curious - do you know for sure that your chapter received few recs? Were you on a recruitment committee where you'd be privy to that info? I ask because I've listened to women swear their chapter didn't get recs, but they weren't on any kind of committee that processed them and they really didn't know. They only knew that occasionally it was mentioned that a PNM had a rec.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Irishpipes, I'm curious - do you know for sure that your chapter received few recs? Were you on a recruitment committee where you'd be privy to that info? I ask because I've listened to women swear their chapter didn't get recs, but they weren't on any kind of committee that processed them and they really didn't know. They only knew that occasionally it was mentioned that a PNM had a rec.

I was at the same school, and I am certain we only got about a handful, having been chapter president and privy to that info.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Irishpipes, I'm curious - do you know for sure that your chapter received few recs? Were you on a recruitment committee where you'd be privy to that info? I ask because I've listened to women swear their chapter didn't get recs, but they weren't on any kind of committee that processed them and they really didn't know. They only knew that occasionally it was mentioned that a PNM had a rec.

Yes, I was privy to it. We had a ton of legacies come through, and most of them had legacy forms, but not too many others had recs. But, that was a long time ago and I think recs in general were not as widely used. I am quite certain that recs are much more common at my chapter now. The chapter very actively solicits them.

I don't know if you were directing part of your comment at me or not, but I have never said that my chapter didn't get recs. I know we did, but I also strongly suspect most PNMs did not have them - I know they didn't for my GLO. I know many of the women we pledged did not have them. I am sure that certain chapters on campus used them more than we did, and some chapters used them less.

The whole rec business is a lot easier now with electronic media, and I think that has aided the increase in rec usage at schools that didn't consider them heavily before.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

Yes, I was privy to it. We had a ton of legacies come through, and most of them had legacy forms, but not too many others had recs. But, that was a long time ago and I think recs in general were not as widely used. I am quite certain that recs are much more common at my chapter now. The chapter very actively solicits them.

I don't know if you were directing part of your comment at me or not, but I have never said that my chapter didn't get recs. I know we did, but I also strongly suspect most PNMs did not have them - I know they didn't for my GLO. I know many of the women we pledged did not have them. I am sure that certain chapters on campus used them more than we did, and some chapters used them less.

The whole rec business is a lot easier now with electronic media, and I think that has aided the increase in rec usage at schools that didn't consider them heavily before.

You and I were also both collegians in the pre-RFM days, too, right? With chapters needing to make heavier cuts much earlier in the process, I could see why both sides (chapters and PNM's) would make a lot more effort to find recs.

[Sciencewoman]

I think Irishpipes is probably accurate...the situation at Wisconsin is typical, I think. Big 10 schools just aren't as into this as the SEC schools are. I've been approached for 3 recs during the past 10 years I've been an alumnae chapter president...one for Alabama, one for TCU, and one for Miami-Ohio. The chapter I help advise gets a handful each year...and they really stand out (positively) because they're so unusual.

[Maman]

I think this is one of those things where changes in recruitment may have occurred very rapidly over time. What happened last year may be very different from what was the norm only five years ago.
In 2012, my daughter attended an Alumnae Panhellenic Recruitment Information Night in the Midwest during her senior year. I am sure some of the PNMs would be attending SEC schools or Indiana, but certainly not the majority. There were 200+ attendees. So logically, Big Ten sororities must receive some recs.
NOTE: I am not asking anyone to divulge their age or year of graduation.

[Sciencewoman]

Our APH rep has had zip, zero luck in getting our APH to show any interest in having an event for seniors or doing anything about rec writing. There are a few alumnae around here who are "with it" but not many. When my daughter was getting recs 2 years ago, only a couple women who wrote them had done so previously.

[DubaiSis]

Hey, if every girl who went into rush at Bama or Ole Miss, etc. actually listened to advice, came in prepared and accepted the invitations they were given, think of how huge the pledge classes would be! So much worse than they are now. Consider them doing the chapters a favor.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Hey, if every girl who went into rush at Bama or Ole Miss, etc. actually listened to advice, came in prepared and accepted the invitations they were given, think of how huge the pledge classes would be! So much worse than they are now. Consider them doing the chapters a favor.

Yes, let the trainwrecks crash before initiation rather than after.

[carnation]

TTT!

[Jill1228]

What I'd tell them: You are not a special snowflake. At a competitive school, it's a dog eat dog world and you as a PNM are wearing Milk Bone underwear

[1964Alum]

I think there is a difference in having a healthy self confidence and feeling entitled.

No one is entitled to invitations to parties or receiving a bid. Membership is a privilege, not a right. And I think that is very important to keep in mind in going through recruitment. A certain humility is a very attractive quality.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by 1964Alum

I think there is a difference in having a healthy self confidence and feeling entitled.

No one is entitled to invitations to parties or receiving a bid. Membership is a privilege, not a right. And I think that is very important to keep in mind in going through recruitment. A certain humility is a very attractive quality.

I think PNMs and their parents get confused when they hear about being guaranteed a bid if you maximize your options. They don't understand that you don't always have options to maximize. I know that has been publicized to keep girls from suiciding, but sometimes it seems that it isn't explained well and it gets people upset.