Retro Recruitment.....with a different ending

[Soliloquy]

First, allow me to agree with the rest of the posters by saying your story really is heartbreaking. I feel like we share may share many qualities as PNM's so I truly sympathize.

I can't wait to hear your happy ending.

[AlwaysSAI]

I was sure I wanted sisterhood. Like I said in my first post, I wanted to be apart of something larger than myself. I wanted to leave a legacy behind.

One of my Pi Chi's had suggested Theta Nu Xi so I figured, why not?! I attended one of theire events and it felt much more like an interview. And, there were only two sisters there. They said more sisters were supposed to come, but they never showed up. I was quite uncomfortable at the event. I attended with a friend of mine who really liked them and ended up joining, but I told her that was a little intimidating for me.

A few weeks later Alpha Phi Omega painted the rock advertising a recruitment event. I thought about going.....but decided that I was going to take the remainder of the semester off in greek endeavors. I needed a little time to heal.

I spent a lot of time that semester at Western with the Theta Omicron Chapter of AGD. I made the drive up there 3 or 4 times before Christmas break. I also spent a considerable amount of time talking to their Greek Life director who was a Phi Mu at I don't know what school. She urged me to go through formal recruitment again in the fall. She had even begun looking for alumnae that would be willing to write me recs. She emphasized that an entire chapter dynamic can change in a year, people graduate, new people join. At one point, I broke down in her office and told her that I just didn't think I could go through that agian.

The sisters of Theta O chapter opened their arms to me. They were my sisters when I had none. They supported me in whatever I decided to do. They treated me like one of their own. I cried on their shoulders, laid in bed with them at night, and had even gone to frat parties with them. That Christmas, I also attended their formal and wore the beautiful dress I bought for the preference ceremony. Everything they did for me, just cemented my desire for sisterhood and all that it entails.

[AlwaysSAI]

As I stated before, I auditioned at UNCG as a vocal minor and was admitted. I also had a great deal of musical experience under my belt. I studied voice privately for 4 years before entering UNCG, I was the lead vocalist in an award winning trio, I had won competitions as a soloist, had leads in musicals, performed an Carnegie Hall (with a city chior) and had been accepted into a very competitive women's chior; all before entering college, except Carnegie Hall which happened my freshman year at UNCG.

My freshman year while in New York City a young woman came up to me and starting recruiting me for SAI. She told me it was a Women's Music Fraternity and that I should think about joining. I thought, a music sorority? right, like I'm going to join that. I don't need to be in some sorority to cement my talent as a musician. Needless to say, she was relentless. And, that same semester, a girl on my hall pledged SAI and she was having such a great time. She showed me everything her big made for her and all the clues she got during big/lil week.

After my unsuccessful formal recruitment experience, I figured, why not give SAI a shot. One of the older sisters had been hardcore recriuting me for almost a year. So, spring semester of my sophomore year, I went out to rush me SAI. The only people that knew I was rushing were my sister and my very best friend in the whole entire world. I didn't tell anyone else. I didn't want to have to do another one of those..."well, yeah, I didn't get in" speeches. I was horribly nervous, to say the least, but they were such great women and I had such a great time.

Bids went out Friday morning at 9a. I sheepishly made the treck to the music building shaking like a leaf. I get to the lounge........and.......nothing. Only bids from Phi Mu Alpha and Mu Phi Epsilon had gone out. I wasn't sure what to do. I walked back to my dorm and called my very best friend in the whole entire world (yeah, the same one). She told me that when she got out of class at 11a, we would walk over there together. So, we did and she held my hand as we walked down the hallway. I was soooo nervous. Sooooo scared. Something I had been so reluctant about, had become something I despirately desired.

We finally made it to the end of the hallway. We walked into the lounge and on the table sat a gift bag full of SAI bids. I searched frantically through the bag. Of course, here we go again with W. for a last name, but there I was! I opened the enveloped and saw the most beautiful bid card I had ever seen in my life. I had a huge smile on my face and my very best friend in the whole entire world began screaming with joy. We both began screaming and jumping up and down. My very best friend who saw me through hell my freshman year and held my head as I cried over NPC recruitment had seen me come full circle. We ran into the music lab because I had just seen my soon-to-be pledge mom go in there. I ran up to her screaming, YES! YES! YES! Right then and there, I filled out my bid card and couldn't have been happier.

The next six weeks are a blur. Taking quizzes, going to pledge meetings. And, low and behold, MY SAI BIG SISTER WAS A SISTER OF ALPHA CHI OMEGA, initiated by the Zeta Xi chapter at UNCG. She wasn't active anymore...I'm not sure if she turned in her badge or had just gone inactive. I was initiated as a sister into Sigma Alpha Iota on April 29, 2006. The initiation ceremony was so beautiful. I cried, I'll admit it, I cried. I finally understood why the ritual of each organization was so sacred.

That summer, I applied for a very prestigious internship with the NC state government through the North Carolina Youth Advocacy and Involvement Office. (EVERYONE SHOULD LOOK INTO IT!) There were more than 1,600 applicants and only 80 positions to fill. That year, it was particularly competitive. I was awarded my second choice position at the NC Museum of History!!! I spent the entire summer developing a week long camp for children in grades 3-6 that focused on toys and games as entertainment throughout the history and development of our state. IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS. And, through that position, I learned many leadership and research skills that I couldn't wait to begin using when I returned back to school. I knew I was well on my way to becoming a success.

But, something was missing. I returned to school in the fall. My Big, who had been so dear to me while I was pledging, decided to go inactive because she was tranferring to a school in Conneticut to be closer to her family. I had a hard time navigating through SAI. I wasn't a music minor anymore....I dropped it because i wanted to have a life outside of the practice room. All of the other sisters, except one, saw eachother everyday in the School of Music. I loved these girls. They were my home, the first women to accept me. I refused to go inactive. I had taken vows I would not betray.

But, I wanted something more......

[FSUZeta]

you are bleeding us with paper cuts!! come on , spill the beans!! please.

[Leslie Anne]

Yay for SAI!!!

I'm anxious to hear the rest of your story though.

[Ocalagirl]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I'm anxious to hear the rest of your story though.

yeah me too!!

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

you are bleeding us with paper cuts!! come on , spill the beans!! please.

Seriously - tell us MORE....

Thank you for being so candid. I was also rejected in my first pursuit of Greek Letter affiliation (there were only locals on my campus at the time and I wanted to be a member of one in particular). Within a month of not getting a bid, I met a wonderful woman who told me about the sorority she was involved in forming and would I like to come to a meeting? That NPC did not come to fruition but we saw presentations a couple of months later from 2 NPC groups who did wnt to come to my campus, AOII and DPhiE. We were colonized by DPhiE in September 1987, almost 20 years ago. The rejection of that local is still a very clear memory but what was meant to be, was meant to be!

[AlwaysSAI]

Like I said, I came back to school in the fall as an active sister of my SAI chapter. I was more than thrilled, but was having a hard time feeling a close connection with all the girls.

I wanted to become a leader and with SAI having such a small focus, only doing music related service and recruiting girls within the music building--it wasn't fulfilling my desire. (to become a member of SAI you do not have to be a music major, you just have to take one music course and be able to display musical competancy.)

I began researching other organizations that catered to exactly what I was looking for. A friend of mine from work is a member of Phi Sigma Pi and they were advertising recruitment events all over campus. I talked to him about it and he encouraged me to go. I feel in love with this organization the second I walked in the door. I felt right at home. Everyone was so nice and friendly.

But, if you know anything about Phi Sigma Pi, it is not like pledging your typical greek organization. At the end of rush, there was "Interview Night" which gives the brothers a chance to meet with the prospectives on a more serious note. Then, whoever is invited to continue on in the initiation process is called and invited to attend pinning. I recieved the call and was soo thrilled. Sarah, our initiated advisor that semester, said to me, "Yeah, we love you." I immediately called my sister and what I said to her is something I hope to portray to all the PNMs out there.

"This being greek thing isn't so hard once you find the right organizations." She agreed with me, of course.

I began the loooong process into the brotherhood of Phi Sigma Pi. That which includes interviewing all active brothers, planning and carrying out a social, service, and fundraising event. And, then, at the end of it all each initiate class has to throw a Philosophy of Life Social (affectionately called POL) for the brothers. We also had to make an 80 on the National exam that covered the history of the fraternity.

I was voted President of my initiate class-the Alpha Deltas, when our first president was "voted off the island" as we jokingly called it. Because on top of everything else, the brothers voted on us once every two weeks and if there was someone that they felt was not up to par, that person was asked to leave. We started as a class of 25 and only 12 of us made it to initiation.

That process was tough and grueling, but looking back, it was one of the most meaningful periods of my life. My pledge class really bonded and even to this day, all of us are really close. Phi Sigma Pi has offered me the fellowship and acceptance I have always searched. I love each and every one of them because they accept me for who I am-crazy, cooky, off the wall, screaming with joy AlwaysSAI. I love being a brother because I have so many friends in so many places and I love running into my brothers on campus. The love that has come to me through Phi Sigma Pi is indescribable.

As PinkBabyGirl said, not getting a bid from an NPC org. was one of the hardest, but also one of the best things that happened in my life. Had it not been for that, I never would have found my true home, the place where I belong in Phi Sigma Pi. *As one of my favorite bros put it, "ΦΣΠ Brothers, Friends.....Forever."

So, yes, I sit in meetings for 4 hours every Sunday with Phi Sig starting at 5p and SAI starting at 8p, but I love both of these organizations so much and the vows I took in each of them are so important to me that I would never dream of going inactive. Although, some Sundays, it's a lot to handle.

An update for both of my chapters: SAI-KG chapter made huge feats during the 2006-07 school year! Though we were chartered at the School of Music since 1999 we were not fully affiliated with the university. This year, we achieved that goal and are now reaping the benefits of this affiliation. I am also a newly elected officer in the position of Corresponding Secretary & Editor!!!
Since I pledge Phi Sigma Pi, we have gained quite the reputation on campus for an organization that creates leaders. SOMETHING WE ARE VERY PROUD OF! We worked really hard with our local cause of supporting the brain anuersym foundation and raised a total of almost $2,000 throughout the spring semester through a variety of fundraisers and a quite successful benefit concert. And, most importantly, due to all of our hard work with the BAF, because of a letter I wrote, we were awarded the Human Relations Award through the office of Multicultural Affairs for the 2007 year. It is a very prestigous award which awarded us a glass plaque, a plaque on the "Wall of Honor" in the Student Center and $100.

I couldn't be happier since I found my home!

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I couldn't be happier since I found my home!

Now THAT'S what I was hoping for! Congratulations on finding your home. It's sometimes is a tough road, but I'm so glad you ended up happy.

[Faith4Keep]

Congratulations on finding what you were looking for!!! I'm so happy that you have found your place.

I have a question for everyone else though. I was reading this:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I began the loooong process into the brotherhood of Phi Sigma Pi. That which includes interviewing all active brothers, planning and carrying out a social, service, and fundraising event. And, then, at the end of it all each initiate class has to throw a Philosophy of Life Social (affectionately called POL) for the brothers. We also had to make an 80 on the National exam that covered the history of the fraternity.

At my university, these activities (interviewing with every member, must plan an event prior to initiation, having to take a knowledge based exam) would be considered hazing, because the new member is forced to do the activity or else they are threatened with not being initiated. Not to say that anyone here was threatened, but if they are saying "You have to interview with all the brothers before you can be initiated" to my university this is hazing. Comments?