Rec/Rif confusion...please help!

ForeverRoses · #1 06-07-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

ETA: Here's the packet we give to area HS Seniors, which includes info about recs/rifs.... Here's that link: http://houston-panhellenic.org/rush/...%20Website.pdf

That packet is wonderful- I wish I was given something like that prior to going through rush/recruitment.

If 5 letters was seen as being "needy"- then couldn't that possibly be a strike against someone before they even start recruitment?

AlphaFrog · #2 06-07-2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

If 5 letters was seen as being "needy"- then couldn't that possibly be a strike against someone before they even start recruitment?

YES.

dgdramadawg · #3 06-07-2007, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

If 5 letters was seen as being "needy"- then couldn't that possibly be a strike against someone before they even start recruitment?

My friend's exact word about sending five recs was "obsessive." You never want to appear "obsessed" with a sorority, because no one wants a creepy new member (see the stalker PNMs thread).

TSteven · #4 06-07-2007, 01:45 PM

For sake of discussion, lets say Polly PNM is a perfect fit for ABC but she doesn't know it yet. (That is what rush is all about.) Polly follows the suggestions provided by the campus Panhellenic and gets two letters or recommendation - on her own - for ABC from alumnae in her area. She does this for the other sororities as well. Yet, unbeknownst to her, an ABC alumnus in her home town knows Polly and can see that she would be a wonderful member. So she writes a letter. The sweet and kind ABC lady at Polly's place of worship also feels Polly would be a delightful ABC and sends a letter. The head of the animal shelter where Polly volunteers is an ABC and she too writes a letter in hopes that one day, she will be able to call Polly "sister".

As such five ABC alumnae think highly of Polly and have sent a letter on her behalf. Three of which were unsolicited by Polly. Would the chapter know that three of the letters were unsolicited?

If not, and as some suggest, it seems like it would be possible that ABC might release Polly - someone who in theory would have been a perfect fit - simply because they felt Polly was obsessed with them. Yet ironically, it is ABCs that are obsessed with Polly.

AlphaFrog · #5 06-07-2007, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TSteven

For sake of discussion, lets say Polly PNM is a perfect fit for ABC but she doesn't know it yet. (That is what rush is all about.) Polly follows the suggestions provided by the campus Panhellenic and gets two letters or recommendation - on her own - for ABC from alumnae in her area. She does this for the other sororities as well. Yet, unbeknownst to her, an ABC alumnus in her home town knows Polly and can see that she would be a wonderful member. So she writes a letter. The sweet and kind ABC lady at Polly's place of worship also feels Polly would be a delightful ABC and sends a letter. The head of the animal shelter where Polly volunteers is an ABC and she too writes a letter in hopes that one day, she will be able to call Polly "sister".

As such five ABC alumnae think highly of Polly and have sent a letter on her behalf. Three of which were unsolicited by Polly. Would the chapter know that three of the letters were unsolicited?

If not, and as some suggest, it seems like it would be possible that ABC might release Polly - someone who in theory would have been a perfect fit - simply because they felt Polly was obsessed with them. Yet ironically, it is ABCs that are obsessed with Polly.

In that highly unlikely situation...no, the ABCs would not know which are solicited, unless the rec writer spesified. However, the two that were solicited are likely to be close, as they'll probably be made from the same resume...where the unsolicited ones would be unique because they were written without her resume, and for a spesific reason. Could she be released for it? It's very possible...

MSKKG · #6 06-07-2007, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Could she be released for it? It's very possible...

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard even though I realize at some colleges that's the way it is. We all (NPC) complain that there's not enough time to really get to know the PNMs or that the way we recruit is so fake. Then, trusted people, our sisters, let us know about a PNM and our chapters would be willing to cut her for that?!?

If a PNM is very quiet during recruitment, sometimes she is perceived as being aloof, disinterested, snooty, etc. If her rec(s) let you know that, you would react to her a little differently. You wouldn't get on your high horse as easily, and you would probably give her a second chance. If a PNM bowls you over, but her rec(s) all say to be careful, don't you think you'd like to have that clue instead of being swayed by a short conversation?

Although IMO requiring 5 recs is a little excessive, if that's what Greek Life at a particular college recommends, then you better believe I'd be doing my best to procure 5 recs!

NutBrnHair · #7 06-07-2007, 02:45 PM

You know what I think it usually comes down to? If the active chapter LIKES the PNM who has a lot of alumnae support -- it's great. If they DON'T like her -- the extra letters, food, posters, etc. will be to the girl's detriment.

dgdramadawg · #8 06-07-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

You know what I think it usually comes down to? If the active chapter LIKES the PNM who has a lot of alumnae support -- it's great. If they DON'T like her -- the extra letters, food, posters, etc. will be to the girl's detriment.

BINGO!

Also, a note about TSteven's comment about Polly PNM having three unsolicited recs... most NPC orgs' rec forms require information that a random person would not have about Polly (like her GPA, class rank, parents' Greek affiliations, NHS membership, or other stuff that you don't just randomly share with every person you know). I would see it as unlikely that a woman would be able to fill out the entire form without consulting the PNM for information.

susan314 · #9 06-07-2007, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

You know what I think it usually comes down to? If the active chapter LIKES the PNM who has a lot of alumnae support -- it's great. If they DON'T like her -- the extra letters, food, posters, etc. will be to the girl's detriment.

That sounds about right.

Its just like dating...

If you really, really like a guy and he showers you with attention, you'll be thrilled. If you're neutral and/or dislike a guy and he showers you with attention, you'll find it annoying.

UGAalum94 · #10 06-07-2007, 07:24 PM

Would the average member even know about the recs the girl had in terms of number, etc?

I really do have rush amnesia in a lot of ways, but I don't remember even being aware of the recs/rifs that a pnm I rushed had. I might just be me or this size rush that we had.

I'd be very wary of giving too much direction here. Current members of the chapters on her campus are really the only folks who are going to know the answer to the how-many-recs-is-the-right-number question, as far as I know.