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06-04-2007, 02:04 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Twin Cities
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So why can't ex lovers remain friends?
You're thoughts. Is it all or nothing. Do you think ex lovers can or should remain friends?
My opinion is flat out NO. It causes too many problems. I can see if they have kids together, but if not, the bridge has got to be broken. Period. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
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Last edited by PrettyBoy; 08-26-2007 at 11:44 PM.
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06-04-2007, 02:51 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 300
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From experience,
N-O.
It's not worth it, unless they have kids.
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Alpha Beta Gamma Delta
Hey Hi Ho
Give 'em hell Rho Mu
Go Chi O!
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06-04-2007, 09:16 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: La vie boheme
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I need closure to be able to move on, and that doesn't always necessarily mean after it's all said and done, we can kick it the way we used to... I'd rather be a cordial acquaintance (sp?) than be a friend
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06-04-2007, 09:19 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2002
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I know quite a few people who are friends with their ex, and it works well.
I personally am not friends with any of my (serious) exs. However, I know if I ever really needed him for something, my most recent ex would be there for me.
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06-04-2007, 09:23 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 232
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I think a friendship can be salvaged if the couple really breaks up... that means no phone calls/texts/emails, hang out sessions, etc. for a while.
However, many people want to transition from lovers to friends immediately, and end up spending as much time together as they did before they ended the relationship. And that often ends in resentment on one side.
But if they take a break to really be apart, I think friendship is possible. At least, it has been for me...
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Oh... you know.
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06-04-2007, 09:43 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: capturing a vision fair...
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Hell Naw ex-lovers can't be friends. There is a reason they're exes. Keep the drama out of your life.
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"Hearts that are loyal and hearts that are true"
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06-04-2007, 02:44 PM
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: in grown up land
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ditto on what everyone has said.
friendship is the foundation of bf/gf relationships, so when that "something" happens to cause the relationship to end, that means the friendship has been compromised as well.
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Ratchet begins at home.
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06-04-2007, 04:07 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Even when children are involved, it still takes a lot for a friendship to develop after a relationship ends. Both parties have to be willing to drop their personal differences and move on...and that can be difficult to do.
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"Sisterhood Through Motherhood"
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06-04-2007, 05:55 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2002
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its worked for me, but there had to be a transition period first...I don't think it can be an automatic change from lovers to friends...
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Yesterday, Today, Forever...I love my D S Q
When you drop the baggage, your hands will then be free to embrace the blessings...
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06-04-2007, 09:28 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Minnesota
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The sex part always gets in the way ~"When Harry met Sally"~ 
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06-05-2007, 11:38 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: I am not in KC!
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If the parting of ways was amicable and mutual, perhaps.
From my experience, however, someone still likes the other person more and feelings get hurt. And if you end up being friends with benefits? Good lord, get ready for drama.
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"Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee." - John Madden
p a w e a since 1899
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06-05-2007, 11:50 AM
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GC Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The River City aka Richmond VA
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ok, i agree with everything on here, but i also happen to be friends with an ex lover...
YES it is difficult at times, but we were friends that became lovers that became friends. i think the lovers thing in the midst of all that was so that we wouldnt think "what if" and we realized we were better as friends. he and i are very close, i am engaged, he is too, and we respect that. we know to make sure that nothing we do seems or could be misunderstood as intimate, and respect each others partners 100%. i think this could be a lot harder to pull off if the time together as lovers ranges in the years, ours was only 8 or 9 months off and on.
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06-05-2007, 12:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: DramaWorld
Posts: 27
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One word: SEX
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06-05-2007, 12:43 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
You're thoughts. Is it all or nothing. Do you think ex lovers can or should remain friends?
My opinion is flat out NO. It causes too many problems. I can see if they have kids together, but if not, the bridge has got to be broken. Period. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
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Yes they can if the maturity level is there. Depends on the circumstances.
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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06-05-2007, 01:18 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 1,930
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it REALLY depends.
is it a situation of a real relationship followed by just friendship? if so i think that can work out. i've seen that more than a few times.
or is it a situation where you were just f*%ing and then you want to be just friends. if so - hell no. one of you or both of you is going to keep wanting. and if it keeps happening, well you aren't really friends. and if it stops, well somebody starts to resent. lord its juicy fun though!
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