Depledging (HELP!!)

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by SummerLvn

wow im devastated.... i was initiated and dropped out of an npc sorority... i really can't pledge another? is this a rule at every school?

Yes, it's a unanimous NPC agreement.

[aggieAXO]

One of my pledges sisters ended up rushing again (after not making grades and being let go). We did not have to invite her for the first round of rush (basically she was dropped from us before rush began). She was our pledge class president and we all liked her but she didn't make her grades. When she went through again she was dropped by everyone by the third round, I felt bad for her .

[KSUViolet06]

I suppse I'm fortunate in that we were told up front what the rules were about depledging & termination. We also have a longer new member period (we chose the 10 week option), so girls have more time to think about whether or not they really want to get initiated.

Our termination paperwork requires a signature from the member. What they sign basically says "I understand that once I sign these papers, I am no longer a member. I understand that I cannot re-join and that I cannot pledge any other sorority in the NPC."

Terminating sorority membership is a big decision and some people don't take it seriously. I've never dealt with an initiated member who terminated and wanted to join another group. We had sort of the opposite problem. I don't know how many disgruntled ex-Sigmas I've talked to on the phone (I was once on standards board) who are upset because they terminated their membership and now they've "changed their mind and want to come back." Sorry hun, you signed the papers.

[SkiingSister]

As I said of in my previous post on another thread. There are ways to get around deactivating without losing your membership. As I post this, I am probably ruining it for future members who may feel the same way.

I fully believed in my organization's ritual. However, I didn't believe in all of the women at my chapter. I found them, those that were on in "the IN crowd in the house", to be more judgmental than I, jealous, petty and pretentious. Most of my friends in the house were older than me by two years at least. They were not this way. So, by my junior year, I had a few friends in the house mostly acquaintance type. My little sister was traveling abroad for a year. Looking back, I had more friends that I realized.

Anyways, as I said, my mom got cancer, I used it to my advantage, said that I was going to half load of courses, locked my grades from anyone being able to check without my signature and the rest is history. FYI, my mom was fully aware of what I was doing and had no problem. They could not serve me the papers that KSUViolet said because they had no proof that I was taking a full load.

Sure, I lied to them. I had to do what I had to do. There were a lot of lies and bullshet told in my chapter.

The three semesters that I had left of active status, were spent living pretty happily. Granted, for a long time I was pretty angry at the house. There was still a lot of pain involved. I never returned to the house. I ran into girls on campus, no biggie. I think that only thing that was surprising to me was how many people missed me. I never left a forwarding address for my mail or phone number. People who know me well, knew how to find me. My little sis and I connected after her year of traveling. The same girls "IN Crowd" were the same ones that scared so many to leave the house and membership decline. I think the silent majority just never said anything.

Looking back, I don't regret what I had to do. I think it is sad. As much as I am responsible for my own actions, I still feel that those involved in house relations, exec, ect. never really looked at why things were going the way they were until it was too late and even then, it was only a glimpse. They were oblivious.

Today, I am somewhat active in my alumnae chapter. Girls from the house have found me on the national site. One of my old roomies contacted me. I even saw an old sister that I hadn't seen in 13 years last weekend. My friends know that I was Greek in school. No biggie. I am proud of my affiliation. I have always thought that I would prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else. So, far, I haven't but had to but, I will fully stand up for someone should it happen again.

[AlphaFrog]

So, you're saying that just because you didn't sign the paper, it made it ok for you to lie? That's pretty shitty of you.

[SkiingSister]

Never got the paper to sign. Would I have signed it? Hmmm...maybe, probably. I really wanted to stay in the organization, just not at that chapter, not living in the house. It would have been hard for me to live out of house, financially. I got the best of both worlds. Others weren't so lucky

Judge me as you like, knock yourself out. Go ahead, seem holier-than-thou. Hey, lies happen in the house all the time. Lies happen in life. It isn't right. Mine was just one of many. Sure it was shetty. Nothing compared to what happened to me in that house. Doesn't make it any better or any worse. I can say that because I was able to leave early, I didn't have to truly deactivate and am now able to help other chapters. This wouldn't have happened if I were to deactivate.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by SkiingSister

Never got the paper to sign. Would I have signed it? Hmmm...maybe, probably. I really wanted to stay in the organization, just not at that chapter, not living in the house. It would have been hard for me to live out of house, financially. I got the best of both worlds. Others weren't so lucky

Why not ask for early alum status?