Are You Too Good For These Men?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by SoEnchanting

Ok, let's keep it real. First of all I am taken so no I would not be dating any of these men. But in determining compatibility, I am not looking for the six-figure guy or the best looks, I just want someone who can keep up - intellectually, personality-wise, AND financially. Sounds easy, right? Yea, right....

All of these qualifications can easily be found in one package. Yes, easily.

Originally Posted by SoEnchanting

Unfortunately, I can't tell these things from their short bios here.

I agree. But I'm not remotely attracted to any of those dudes so the bios don't move me either way.

[Little32]

My most recent relationship (or person that I dated, it wasn't really a relationship) was with someone who might be termed a blue collar worker, and I am (in terms of education) considered to be at the opposite end of the spectrum.

I didn't and don't have a problem with what he does, what I found is that he operates from the assumption that I do. ( I don't know if that is because he has encountered women that have had an issue with his profession in the past or what.) But essentially, he brought his preconceived notions about what I wanted and who I was (based on my profession and my education), and that colors the way that he interacts with me.

So, I think that that just reinforces the idea that these men may be part of the reason as to why they find it difficult to date.

[lovehaiku84]

I thought that a couple of them were cute, but I don't think I'd be too interested in any one of them. Maybe the "thug" if he didn't dress like that...
Anyways the short guy looks like someone that approached my friends and I in a club once time. He was pretty much shorter than all three of us (I am 5'4), and made an attempt to "get at" each one of us when one rejected him. This guy was relentless! He peeped the ring I wear on my left hand when I don't want to be bothered and went on and on about how it should have been bigger and how he would have gotten me something better. So besides the fact that he was super short, he was just annoying. I really do think that there are some other reasons that these men are single besides the ones that they shared.

[Infamous12]

Originally Posted by Little32

My most recent relationship (or person that I dated, it wasn't really a relationship) was with someone who might be termed a blue collar worker, and I am (in terms of education) considered to be at the opposite end of the spectrum.

I didn't and don't have a problem with what he does, what I found is that he operates from the assumption that I do. ( I don't know if that is because he has encountered women that have had an issue with his profession in the past or what.) But essentially, he brought his preconceived notions about what I wanted and who I was (based on my profession and my education), and that colors the way that he interacts with me.

So, I think that that just reinforces the idea that these men may be part of the reason as to why they find it difficult to date.

I just got out of practically the same situation. I have a degree and a job with power options. (Can easily move up in company) He's 3 years my senior, with a pretty good finance type of job (insurance something or other) but still had not received his degree and so he felt like I was 'too much for him'. He had some security issues, as I NEVER even cared about his degree or lack thereof, honestly. But he did....and figured one day I would too. Oh well...

I think the Baby Daddy & MBA Thug are pretty cute.

[Little32]

It is pretty frustrating because, unless I get with another Ph.D., there is always going to be at least that difference (even if financial issues are non-existent--and you academics out there know how underpaid we are). I'm not necessarily interested in dating another academic, but even if I were there just aren't a lot of single, heterosexual men of color with Ph.Ds out there, at least not were I am.

[SoEnchanting]

Originally Posted by Little32

It is pretty frustrating because, unless I get with another Ph.D., there is always going to be at least that difference (even if financial issues are non-existent--and you academics out there know how underpaid we are). I'm not necessarily interested in dating another academic, but even if I were there just aren't a lot of single, heterosexual men of color with Ph.Ds out there, at least not were I am.

Not where I am, either!

[DSTCHAOS]

1. I've dated a truck driver. He had a college degree, which is my minimum educational requirement (I typically date men with more than a bachelors, though). He used to be white collar and switched to blue collar. It was fine with me at first but then I realize that, no matter how much you make, I don't want to date a man who works long, odd hours. They are more than likely good men...for some other woman. I never felt the need to attach myself to every good man who comes around. There isn't a shortage of good men who fit MY wants and needs.

2. Finding a man with my same degree level doesn't matter to me. A PhD means a lot in my field but not in every field. Plus, a PhD doesn't translate to higher pay or a certain type of lifestyle for many academicians. So it is only middle class based on a loose categorization of middle class.

[SoEnchanting]

[quote=DSTCHAOS;1454133]All of these qualifications can easily be found in one package. Yes, easily.

quote]

Where are all of these men easily found?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by SoEnchanting

Where are all of these men easily found?

In the circles that I mingle in of the different places I have lived.

[SoEnchanting]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

In the circles that I mingle in of the different places I have lived.

lol I see you girl! *knocking on wood* I will have to holler at you for tips if I ever re-enter the world of singledom.

Gotta say though, I am very fortunate right now to have found somebody on the same wavelength as far as future goals. It just makes life easier. Nothing wrong with these guys, but based on past experiences I can't help but wonder if they are secure enough in their manhood to handle what I am trying to do with my life.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by SoEnchanting

lol I see you girl! *knocking on wood* I will have to holler at you for tips if I ever re-enter the world of singledom.

Gotta say though, I am very fortunate right now to have found somebody on the same wavelength as far as future goals. It just makes life easier. Nothing wrong with these guys, but based on past experiences I can't help but wonder if they are secure enough in their manhood to handle what I am trying to do with my life.

I'm not in the world of singledom, either, but I can appreciate the plethora of good men around me.

Many men can handle what you're doing as long as you're unmoving in these goals. Some men will try to get you off track because they are used to women who are too accomodating. But in being unmoving with your goals, allow someone else to share your life and goals with you.

(Which I'm sure you've done because you aren't in the world of singledom.)

[Wonderful1908]

Well since I am married and have been with the same man for 12 years (I am 29) my knowledge of dating is limited. However the older I get I can say these two things.

If I ever get a divorce and get re-married it will be for stability then love. I married my husband because I love him with all my heart and I believe the same for him, but as young adults 18 years old to 29 and 30 we have grown up together and gone through alot of thick and thin. I wouldn't put up with the crap I put at 21 at 41. My mother was married for 25 years to my father and she has no intentions of playing the games at 48 she played at 18.

Second, my husband has a college degree he does not use at all. He works offshore and makes good money but if I didn't meet him at school I wonder would I have been opened minded enough to date him at this stage of life.

No matter who you are with there will be some bullsh*t from him and you, it just depends on how much you can take and what you are willing to let go.

I remeber the pastor once said at church when a couple stood up for 60 years of marriage that somebody in that relationship put up with alot of bs to be married that long, thats life.

[OneTimeSBX]

i am not 100% picky when it comes to education...i have a bachelors but my fiance has his associates...and he makes more money than i probably ever will. his first love was always cooking, so he went to a university that offered it and he has his AAS in culinary arts. he loves what he does, and i think in the end that counts more than anything. he is about to get his bachelors but i feel fortunate that in the evenings when he comes home, i get to hear about how he loves his job, and no complaints.

[RedefinedDiva]

The difference here is also between a person having a PROFESSION/CAREER or a JOB. Those are two vastly different things.