Are You Too Good For These Men?

[RedefinedDiva]

Essence needs to DO BETTER.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva

Essence needs to DO BETTER.

yeah for real.

hmm, id date (ages aside) the 2nd and 4th guy. im not attracted to any of them really, but the first guy is a hell naw. the 3rd, i dont do party folks, including promoters, DJs, album droppers, etc. i wanna go to the party with you. i dont want you to be the party.

[Blessed2bDST]

The bottom line is that people like what they like. Men are just as picky for all kinds of reasons. And men don't qualify why they don't like a certain type. I think women are always made to feel like they have to "explain" or apologize for whatever their preferences might be.

The first one and the short one -- I think it's funny that they didn't mention weight. A lot of women might be turned off by the fact that they are overweight.

The truck driver (business owner) is the only one I really thought was kind of cute.

[ladygreek]

This is an interesting discussion. My best friend, my daughter and I were having a discussion about why none of us were married or in a serious relationship. All three of us are attractive, have good jobs and own our own homes.

My daughter, with her wise self said: we could have all been married if that is all we wanted. But we wanted more and we wouldn't settle. It is not all about looks, income, etc. with a man, it is about how they treat us and respect us.

She went on to tell me she is so glad I did not marry her father, who is an alcoholic, because she would not have had the loving life she has had with just a single parent. I had to sit down on that one.

We know too many women who marry for the sake of being married and end up divorced with children five years later. Why? Because deep down inside all they really wanted was the wedding and the status that goes along with being Mrs. so and so.

So should we be judgemental? IMO no, because that implies judging the book by its cover. Should we be discerning? Absolutely. If you start reading the book and it does not appeal to you, then put it on the shelf and find a new book to read.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

This is an interesting discussion. My best friend, my daughter and I were having a discussion about why none of us were married or in a serious relationship. All three of us are attractive, have good jobs and own our own homes.

My daughter, with her wise self said: we could have all been married if that is all we wanted. But we wanted more and we wouldn't settle. It is not all about looks, income, etc. with a man, it is about how they treat us and respect us.

She went on to tell me she is so glad I did not marry her father, who is an alcoholic, because she would not have had the loving life she has had with just a single parent. I had to sit down on that one.

We know too many women who marry for the sake of being married and end up divorced with children five years later. Why? Because deep down inside all they really wanted was the wedding and the status that goes along with being Mrs. so and so.

So should we be judgemental? IMO no, because that implies judging the book by its cover. Should we be discerning? Absolutely. If you start reading the book and it does not appeal to you, then put it on the shelf and find a new book to read.

This is intersting you say these things. Your daughter is truly wise and will probably be married soon than you think!

My now husband and I eloped to be married to my husband because of what our families would have done to our wedding: too big, too many people, gifts we would need or want. It would not be the event we have dreams about. And now, 4 years later, I am still proud to be with my husband...

My husband, if he was single, could have been one of those guys. Label himself as an animal technian--the one who cleans the cages and put his hand up cow's behinds... He was told that "he's a nice guy, but..."

Then he has truly enriched my life and treated me well...

[IncontRHOllable]

Hmmm, I would want to know more about them, well except for #1, he is outside of my age range. Its funny but where are these men (good guys) and are they reallllllly the good guys they say they are? Probably not. There are no good guys out there, they are all taken.

Originally Posted by ladygreek

...We know too many women who marry for the sake of being married and end up divorced with children five years later. Why? Because deep down inside all they really wanted was the wedding and the status that goes along with being Mrs. so and so...

I have quite a few friends who are married but are so unhappy because they married for this reason. So sad...

But back to the original topic... I don't find any of those men physically attractive, so I wouldn't give either one of them a chance.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

So should we be judgemental? IMO no, because that implies judging the book by its cover. Should we be discerning? Absolutely. If you start reading the book and it does not appeal to you, then put it on the shelf and find a new book to read.

Yes, yes, yes.

Originally Posted by Blessed2bDST

The bottom line is that people like what they like.

That's what I say too. It is what it is.
ETA:
Keepin' it real, right? I wouldn't date any of them.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

This is an interesting discussion. My best friend, my daughter and I were having a discussion about why none of us were married or in a serious relationship. All three of us are attractive, have good jobs and own our own homes.

My daughter, with her wise self said: we could have all been married if that is all we wanted. But we wanted more and we wouldn't settle. It is not all about looks, income, etc. with a man, it is about how they treat us and respect us.

She went on to tell me she is so glad I did not marry her father, who is an alcoholic, because she would not have had the loving life she has had with just a single parent. I had to sit down on that one.

We know too many women who marry for the sake of being married and end up divorced with children five years later. Why? Because deep down inside all they really wanted was the wedding and the status that goes along with being Mrs. so and so.

So should we be judgemental? IMO no, because that implies judging the book by its cover. Should we be discerning? Absolutely. If you start reading the book and it does not appeal to you, then put it on the shelf and find a new book to read.

This was so well said and profound Ladygreek! I also know tons of females that are willing to hook up or marry guys that are just shells. That's not me at all and I choose not go that route.

I also agree with the majority of the women here who say that these men probably like the wrong women.

Lastly, DSTChaos where do you live because I'm not surrounded by those "plethora of men" you were referring to!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by delph998

Lastly, DSTChaos where do you live because I'm not surrounded by those "plethora of men" you were referring to!

Which would explain why some of you feel you can't be so judgmental and discerning.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Which would explain why some of you feel you can't be so judgmental and discerning.

You have a point.

To respond to this column, none of these guys appeal to me. I feel like there should be some physical attraction and there are no sparks for me. Additionally, I'm not about to date a dude that looks like a thug or who clubs all of the time. So I guess I fit into the same category as the majority of women that they've encountered before.

I get play all of the time from guys here, but most of the men are not on the same level as me. I'm not needy for a guy so I thank them for the interest and push on. So many men have games and I don't have time for that. I've been down that road before (remember the Too Much Baggage Thread? ). After Mr. Too Much Baggage, which was three years ago, I've decided that I will not settle any more. So while my friends are getting excited about the Konclave being here this summer for the sake of seeing men, I don't share that same excitment because when it's my time, it's my time. God knows how to work His magic.