Housemothers

[AlexMack]

One of my closest friends was the house director for another sorority on campus and those women loved her. She would do the usual duties of a house director but she'd also go out of her way and make them little gift baskets for the holidays, finals, stuff like that. She'd also look the other way about certain things as well.
My friend should have been a sorority girl and I'm still hoping that she'll be AIed into that organization because she deserves it
I guess it's a balance between being a friend and being a parent, knowing when to look the other way and when not to.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

Our house mother was pretty hands-off. She kept on top of basic house maintenance and was the person who would call companies promptly for whatever problem that needed to be fixed. She also frequently ate with us during formal dinners twice a week and did little things like late night snacks during finals week. She basically just enforced the rules (especially the no guys in bedrooms, guys out of the house by 2 AM rules) and made sure we didn't do anything too wild. One thing I did really like about her was that we jokingly asked her one night to pick us up from the bar (which is easily within walking distance) if it was raining or we were too drunk and didn't feel like walking. She readily agreed, and we never took her up on it, but I really do think she would've done that for us even though it would mean going out at 3 AM to get us.

Did you think she was great because of this, or a pushover?

Originally Posted by Kevin

My father's fraternity had a house mom. A lady named "Bubbles" (I guess this was a name old ladies actually would go by in the mid 60's?)

Back then, pledges got to eat with the house mother. Every meal was an intense course in etiquette. Bubbles would hastily point out any imperfect manners such as not holding your hand in front of the lemon when it's being squeezed, improper placement of utensils, etc. Retribution from Bubbles would probably earn you retribution from the actives.

At any rate, Bubbles' lessons still haunt me to this day. Whenever dining with my dad, it's "Bubbles did this or that."

But of course, now, my table manners are impeccable. Eating where I usually eat with the people I usually eat with, I probably look like I have OCD or something

Thanks Bubbles.

Now, this is what I expected to hear. Our housemother retired many years prior to my pledging, but I heard stories about her teaching table manners and other notions of "polite society"!

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Did you think she was great because of this, or a pushover?

Truthfully, I appreciated it. I looked at it as her considering our safety above anything else. And this woman was definitely no pushover: get caught breaking a pretty significant house rule (like no guys sleeping over) and there were definite repercussions within days.

[DMCBlondie]

I feel like me and "Leslie Anne" had the same housemom! Everything she said is exactly what I would say.

The thing that bothered me the most about Mom (we're getting a new one this year) was her lack of tact in some situations. She would yell/tell us we were breaking the rules right in front of guests which was pretty embarressing.

[SoCalGirl]

We never had a house so mayber I'm misunderstanding something. Why would the House Mom be involved in any repurcussions or punishments for breaking house rules? Isn't that Standards/J-Board territory?

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

We never had a house so mayber I'm misunderstanding something. Why would the House Mom be involved in any repurcussions or punishments for breaking house rules? Isn't that Standards/J-Board territory?

Yes, you are correct.

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

We never had a house so mayber I'm misunderstanding something. Why would the House Mom be involved in any repurcussions or punishments for breaking house rules? Isn't that Standards/J-Board territory?

For my chapter, she wasn't DIRECTLY involved. If you broke a rule that was grounds for J-Board (having a guy sleep over), she reported it to the chapter advisor, and it was dealt with within the sorority from then on.

[SigKapCoug]

yeah, i'm kind of surprised by people saying the house mother yelled at them for breaking rules.

I'm the house manager and it seems like I'm the one who yells for people breaking rules, lol.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

We never had a house so maybe I'm misunderstanding something. Why would the House Mom be involved in any repercussions or punishments for breaking house rules? Isn't that Standards/J-Board territory?

With respect to most offensives, if you were caught by the Housemother breaking a rule, you would more than likely be in trouble with the chapter as well. The issue would be dealt with according to chapter/fraternity by-laws. But often worse than any chapter sanction, punishment or fine would be the disapproval of the Housemother. Or worse yet, the loss of her respect.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

We never had a house so mayber I'm misunderstanding something. Why would the House Mom be involved in any repurcussions or punishments for breaking house rules? Isn't that Standards/J-Board territory?

If the housemom were to witness some of the major rules being broken (alcohol in house, boys in areas they weren't supposed to be in and/or at times they weren't supposed to be in the house, etc.), she'd be obligated to let the appropriate chapter people know. Specific disciplinary actions would be decided upon and implemented by executive council (standards board, or whatever board in the sorority had that authority). So, while the housemom wouldn't directly enact any punishment, she still played an important part in enforcing house rules.

[AlphaXi4983]

As an incoming housemom, this is all very interesting to hear! We did not have greek housing at my undergrad school, so I'm coming into this more or less blind. Any other wisdom you can pass on??