Lawmakers Find $21 a Week Doesn't Buy a Lot of Groceries

[JWithers]

ITA that there should be programs set up especially for women whose husbands leave them. However, I think if you chose to have your children out of wedlock, then you've made your bed, both literally and figuratively, if your man leaves you to do it on your own.

Women need to make wise choices and understand that they may one day HAVE to do it alone. Make sure you are old enough and secure enough to have a child before getting pregnant. That's what condoms are for, or better yet, abstinence before marriage. (Not that I did that, so I am not preaching-it's just an option)

My husband and I waited 6 years before starting our family b/c we knew it would be expensive, and we wanted to work hard and save so that we would be in a good financial place when our kids came along.

As for not being able to afford an education. That is crap. Public schools are free. And anyone who wants to go to University can these days, with grants and loans and scholarships. Work hard, make good grades and there is NO excuse for not getting an education. My parents paid for virtually NONE of my education although they certainly could have. I got scholarships and grants for most of my tuition. I worked an on-campus job for spending money. My on-campus housing was paid for with my scholarships.

I think there should be programs in place for woman who are abandoned with children. But they should be limited to job training, temporary housing and food. After 6 months, they should have sufficient skills to get a job. There are plenty of jobs out there with minimal training requirements.

When I was struggling to pay of my debt as a single girl, I worked some God-awful jobs. And they weren't what I wanted to do with my life and I wasn't proud to tell people I worked at a skeezy restaurant that serves wings (you know the one), and also delivered flowers in the afternoons! This is in addition to my 'real'job.

I know it is harder with kids, I worry all of the time what if something happened to my husband? What kind of job would I find after being at home for so long? Who would be there for my kids? It isn't that i don't have empathy for people in difficult circumstance, it's just that I am a realist and know that most people create their own misfortune.

Again, even my preschooler knows that "You are responsible for your own actions".

[Kevin]

JWithers, preach it.

Babies don't make themselves.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by JWithers

As for not being able to afford an education. That is crap. Public schools are free. And anyone who wants to go to University can these days, with grants and loans and scholarships. Work hard, make good grades and there is NO excuse for not getting an education.

Not everyone knows about these options. Not everyone understands the value of education in today's market. You are fortunate to have had such opportunities.

[JWithers]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Not everyone knows about these options. Not everyone understands the value of education in today's market. You are fortunate to have had such opportunities.

With all due respect, everyone knows High School is free and as for grants and scholarships, yes I was fortunate to have gotten them, but I got off my butt, looked into my options and figured it out on my own. The info is out there if you really care. No one held my hand and led me through the process. I am not elitist, I am just tired of "I didn't know" or "I couldn't do it" as an excuse. 'Can't' never could.

If there are people out there too lost to know that you can get a scholarship if you make good grades and apply for one, then I don't know what else you can do to inform them. It's pretty basic knowledge for any HS student in this country. Maybe it's easier to do nothing and blame everyone else for not telling you how to do it. I scrolling marquee a foot away from their faces probably still wouldn't motivate them. Nothing worth having comes easy. you have to work hard, figure out your options and make good choices. The Lord helps those who helps themselves.

I know there are some kids whose mommies and daddies did it all for them and through connections, managed to secure Jr. a pretty nice education and living. I am not one of those kids.

If I can do it anyone who really wants to can do it.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by JWithers

With all due respect, everyone knows High School is free and as for grants and scholarships, yes I was fortunate to have gotten them, but I got off my butt, looked into my options and figured it out on my own. The info is out there if you really care. No one held my hand and led me through the process. I am not elitist, I am just tired of "I didn't know" or "I couldn't do it" as an excuse. 'Can't' never could.

If there are people out there too lost to know that you can get a scholarship if you make good grades and apply for one, then I don't know what else you can do to inform them. It's pretty basic knowledge for any HS student in this country. Maybe it's easier to do nothing and blame everyone else for not telling you how to do it. I scrolling marquee a foot away from their faces probably still wouldn't motivate them. Nothing worth having comes easy. you have to work hard, figure out your options and make good choices. The Lord helps those who helps themselves.

I know there are some kids whose mommies and daddies did it all for them and through connections, managed to secure Jr. a pretty nice education and living. I am not one of those kids.

If I can do it anyone who really wants to can do it.

Have you ever actually spoken to any of the people that we're talking about? Their entire state of mind and mentality toward education is very different from what yours appears to be. Many of them come from families who have never attended college, so who is telling them about the benefits? You?

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Have you ever actually spoken to any of the people that we're talking about? Their entire state of mind and mentality toward education is very different from what yours appears to be. Many of them come from families who have never attended college, so who is telling them about the benefits? You?

Same question I like to ask of these folks here who think that 'getting a job' will stop the food stamp proliferation.


Are these same people who think it's so easy are they willing to provide opportunities for these folk?

[JWithers]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Same question I like to ask of these folks here who think that 'getting a job' will stop the food stamp proliferation.


Are these same people who think it's so easy are they willing to provide opportunities for these folk?

You're right. Sitting on your behind and collecting a check is a much better option. I have worked crap jobs to pay my bills and hated it. But I did it because it was what was right and I was able and willing to work. Not take a handout.

And it's not my job to provide work for people. It's not my job to hold their hands and fill out the jop app. for them. No one did it for me and guess what? It ain't that hard.

Everywhere you go there are signs for help wanted. Sorry if it's beneath people to work at Wal-Mart or at a fast food place.

You don't need outside guidance to take a shower, fill out a job app. and earn a living. It might be a low-paying living, I know. I worked 3 jobs at one time. But is that less noble that taking a check you didn't earn?

For the record, how many jobless welfare recipients have you given a job to, or helped find a job? How many of them kept the job more than a month? How many never showed for the interview?

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by JWithers

You're right. Sitting on your behind and collecting a check is a much better option. I have worked crap jobs to pay my bills and hated it. But I did it because it was what was right and I was able and willing to work. Not take a handout.

And it's not my job to provide work for people. It's not my job to hold their hands and fill out the jop app. for them. No one did it for me and guess what? It ain't that hard.

Everywhere you go there are signs for help wanted. Sorry if it's beneath people to work at Wal-Mart or at a fast food place.

You don't need outside guidance to take a shower, fill out a job app. and earn a living. It might be a low-paying living, I know. I worked 3 jobs at one time. But is that less noble that taking a check you didn't earn?

For the record, how many jobless welfare recipients have you given a job to, or helped find a job? How many of them kept the job more than a month? How many never showed for the interview?

I can't count how many, but when I did addictions counseling a few years back, many of those folks I sat with and counseled on how to type a proper resume, how to be successful at a job interview etc.

No you cannot CANNOT be responsible for handholding...what we CAN do is open the DOOR. THEY have to choose to walk thru.

NOT EVERYONE had the same kinds of opportunities and life lessons that most of us have had...me...I have never gone longer than 2 weeks without employment....but everyone cannot say that they had the same will that WE have...but how can you complain if you aren't willing to take time out to DO something.

You mistake GIVING A HAND OUT to creating opportunities for those that have none, I don't beleive that you give something to someoen...what you do is EDUCATE if u can for those willing to listen and learn.

That in part is MY community service, to help those without the ABILITY to help themselves not to sit back watch others go thru the dark when I have a perfectly good light and map in front of me.

I have had kids in my community who came from poor families that i helped send to college...one of wich recently not only GRADUATED from my almer mater 3 years ago (1st in his family) but is a police officer with the Baltimore city police and back in school for his Master's.

[JWithers]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Have you ever actually spoken to any of the people that we're talking about? Their entire state of mind and mentality toward education is very different from what yours appears to be. Many of them come from families who have never attended college, so who is telling them about the benefits? You?

Like I said, no one told me, or helped me, I just started asking questions, went to the guidnace counselors at my HS, called the Universities I had applied to find out about work study programs. It isn't rocket science and if you are too ignorant and lazy to take some iniative, then maybe you should lie around and 'cry poor poor me no one will do it for me'.

It is a ridiculous argument to say that because no one told them they had options, they can't be faulted for not finding them. If I waited around for things to be handed to me my whole life, I would be in a shelter too.

It is insulting to say that because I don't come from that background I can't understand. Yes, I came from a comfortable background, but had hard-a$$ parents who wanted me to think for myself, do for myself and make something of myself. And I did it myself. And I teach the same thing to my children.

But I also know lots of people who didn't even have strict parents teaching them a good work ethic, and they managed to figure it out, too. Because they wanted the education badly enough. It's up the individual to take the initiative and quite blaming their circumstances for their problems.

While it is true not everyone is afforded the same privileges in this country, education is available to everyone, regardless of money or social class, and in many cases regardless of intelligence. Some of the biggest idiots I know have post-grad degrees.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by JWithers

It is insulting to say that because I don't come from that background I can't understand.

Where did I say this? If anything, I would encourage you to use the blessings you have received to benefit others - not condemn you for having money/education/status/whatever. I asked if you had actually spoken to any of the people that we're talking about. Perhaps you could get involved with these folks in a service capacity. It's easy to talk negatively about people you don't know personally.

[JWithers]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Where did I say this? If anything, I would encourage you to use the blessings you have received to benefit others - not condemn you for having money/education/status/whatever. I asked if you had actually spoken to any of the people that we're talking about. Perhaps you could get involved with these folks in a service capacity. It's easy to talk negatively about people you don't know personally.

I never spoke negatively about them. I stated fact. It isn't that hard, there are opprtunities everywhere, and it isn't my fault if people don't take what is openly out there and available.

Why would I get involved with these folks in a service capacity? I am not a counselor or a homeless advocate or even a social worker. I would however be happy to, and have, help those who cannot help themselves. That again, is cannot, not will not.

All I can tell you is my sorry brother in law is 30 and never finished college because it was 'too stressful' and 'I can't afford it'. I told him everything I had done and how easy it was and he never took my help or advice. (BTW, there are 4 other sibling in the family and they all went to college on scholarship or loan) Now he whines about how it's so easy for the rest of us because we got our degrees and make more money than he does. We always have to spot him on family gifts, trips, etc. Give me a break.

But whose fault is it he didn't get his education? Mine? Yours? Guess again. It was his own darn fault. And the only reason I feel the need to help him out from time to time is because he is family.

Again, I am not talking about drug addiction. That is out of my realm of experience and knowledge.

My comments are directed specifically at people claiming they have no access to an education. Pure and simple. And I still say that is crap. If you want it, go and get it. I never made a mint, because I worked for a non-profit, but I paid my bills and fed myself. That's what I am talking about.

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by JWithers

There should be programs set up especially for women whose husbands leave them.... Women need to make wise choices and understand that they may one day HAVE to do it alone.

Not to sidetrack the conversation, but I just ran across a very interesting book called The Feminine Mistake (by Leslie Bennetts) that discusses this very issue. It talks about women who didn't work once they got married because they had a man to provide for them, and then something happened to their husbands (death or divorce) and they were left without the means to fend for themselves.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Not to sidetrack the conversation, but I just ran across a very interesting book called The Feminine Mistake (by Leslie Bennetts) that discusses this very issue. It talks about women who didn't work once they got married because they had a man to provide for them, and then something happened to their husbands (death or divorce) and they were left without the means to fend for themselves.

There's a term for this situation in workforce development: displaced homemaker. And, there are entire organizations devoted to assisting these women in preparing to enter the workforce. The need grows yearly.

[DaemonSeid]

Something else to consider about folks on food stamps....and it was in the article....soem of those affected are those same ones that have the task of feeding us....farmers....

After their fall harvest they have to live on whatever income they make and because we are so busy outsourcing where we get our food and the fact that lots of these sources are gettiogn contaminated....and.....with less and less people taking up farming....it's a wonder for part of the year they have to take govt subsidies...

I geuss we can tell them 'go get a job' to hmm?

check this article out if u would like....

http://sayanythingblog.com/entry/pom...rs_on_welfare/

and something else too

http://www.apa.org/pi/wpo/welf.html

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Not to sidetrack the conversation, but I just ran across a very interesting book called The Feminine Mistake (by Leslie Bennetts) that discusses this very issue. It talks about women who didn't work once they got married because they had a man to provide for them, and then something happened to their husbands (death or divorce) and they were left without the means to fend for themselves.

Sidetracking still: That situation happened to my sister. She had 2 kids & no work experience whatsoever. Mom took them all in & between my sisters & I, we took turns watching her kids during the day so she could go to school. Now she's back on her feet & has learned a hard lesson about life.