Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[chitownxo]

Listen up, sweetcheeks...

I know you've been here a whole 3 weeks, and you are the most intelligent 18 year old alive, and you know everything, but here's a couple of heads up for you to survive in this department:

1) If you're going to lie about something, do it well. Telling us that you can't work on Tuesday nights because you have class is fine. Telling us that you can't work on Sat. nights because you have class is suspect...especially since you told me where you're going to school and who's teaching this class. Sadly for you, my mom teaches at that school and gosh, there are no Saturday night classes.

2) Telling your friends to call you when you're on break is okay. Telling a customer you can't wait on her because you have to answer an urgent message from a friend is not.

3) Telling me that being pregnant at my age is gross, and I should stay home is not a good way to get the hours you want...especially since I'm doing the schedule for the next month and a half.

4) Paging a manager on the walkie to let her know that we have a bank that's under is okay. Paging her via the PA and telling her a bank in Moderate is $120 under, and asking if we should call security, not okay.

Well, that's about it for today. I'm so looking forward to working with you this evening to continue your education. Just a little service I provide.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Why did you choose to ask me? Yes, we work on the same project. And yes, I've been working at the company longer than you. However, what I do on this project is totally different than what you do. I can't tell you what you should do with this. You need to ask the person above you....which is sooooo not me. I don't work on that side of the project. I don't even have access to that side of the project.

[AlphaFrog]

Listen, lady - you told us that we could wear jeans and company t-shirts, so don't make snide comments when I actually dress up like "Oh, today you actually LOOK like our office manager".

[Still BLUTANG]

you are the reason we have a dress code around here. When you leave things to the individual, people come in here looking like halloween. Buy some WORK clothes. Not club clothes that you just happen to wear to work.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

You've blocked Google because we're only supposed to be using the Net for work-related purposes. Yet, Facebook and Greekchat aren't blocked.

[aephi alum]

Disclaimer: This relates to a man who usually takes the same train I do - not to a coworker. But it's the commuter rail, so it's work related, right?

Look. You have the world's worst combover. It's dead obvious, even from a distance, that you just grew some hair out on one side of your head and glued it down over your bald spot or something. A teddy bear glued to the top of your head would look less fake.

It's time to face facts. YOU'RE BALD. Get hair transplant surgery, get a toupee, or live with the male pattern baldness, but get over it - your combover isn't fooling anyone.

[tnxbutterfly]

You folks know we close at 9pm. It is clearly marked on the doors. So why do you insist on waiting till 8:45 to start trying on clothes? Then you pick out like 1000 clothes that you want try on. Are you insane?

[aephi alum]

Look, kid. I do support for System A. I do support only for System A. You support System B. There are other people who support Systems C, D, and E. These people are not me.

When a trouble ticket comes in for System A, you assign it to me. That's fine. When a ticket comes in for System B, you assign it to yourself. Again, that's fine.

But when a trouble ticket comes in for any of Systems C, D, and E, you are supposed to assign it to the appropriate support person. I AM NOT THE APPROPRIATE SUPPORT PERSON. Do your damn homework and figure out who's supposed to get the ticket. Don't just assign it to me because it isn't for System B.

Keep doing it, and I'll just assign the damn tickets back to you.

[JWithers]

"Look, your child is average. Not gifted, not dipped in molten gold. He is mediocre. It's fine. No judgment on you. Accept it and all of our lives will be better and he probably won't off himself at 17 because he didn't get into the schools you pushed him to apply for out of your own sense of competitiveness."

[tnxbutterfly]

I knew that you wer going to cut my pay. That's why I wasn't surprized today when I had my review. How are we suppose to sale when nobody comes into the store? I'm worth so much more then what you are paying me

[aephi alum]

To the same kid I addressed three posts ago:

You're getting even worse. Now you're assigning tickets to me that don't even belong in this part of the world. When someone raises a ticket in London, don't you think it should be assigned to - oh I dunno - the support team in London ??!?!

"Right-o, old chap. I'll pop right over to your desk. Just give me a minute to find my swimsuit and swim across the pond..."

[ZTAngel]

You do not need to come into my office after writing me an email to give me a synopsis of your email. Your 3 paragraph drivel is enough for me to get your meaning.

I CAN'T STAND YOU.

[OneTimeSBX]

so what i dont clock out for lunches? neither do the other 50 employees in the building...where do you think i got the idea from??

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by ZTAngel

You do not need to come into my office after writing me an email to give me a synopsis of your email. Your 3 paragraph drivel is enough for me to get your meaning.

I CAN'T STAND YOU.

Are you my boss?!?!

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Are you my boss?!?!

Heh. Unless you happen to work with me, it is (unfortunately) one of my bosses who does this.