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05-09-2007, 10:04 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Denmark, South Carolina
Posts: 64
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One Of My Favorite Topics
Great Question, Professor.
I think I would tell my parents:
1. Spanking is not always the solution.
2. Discuss, discuss, and discuss conflicts and solutions.
3. Model the right behavior. (If Daddy is rude, then I'm suppose to end up as a mannerable man???)
I'm nervous about raising my own child even though I work with 4-year olds everyday.
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05-16-2007, 06:02 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: in my head
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no fear
raising your child and teaching someone else's child may be two different things. you will see how different your approach is with a life you helped to create. as a dad, you could be much more protective. just take your time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamal5000
Great Question, Professor.
I think I would tell my parents:
1. Spanking is not always the solution.
2. Discuss, discuss, and discuss conflicts and solutions.
3. Model the right behavior. (If Daddy is rude, then I'm suppose to end up as a mannerable man???)
I'm nervous about raising my own child even though I work with 4-year olds everyday.
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"SI, SE PUEDE!"
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05-21-2007, 05:18 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: University of Minnesota by way of Milwaukee
Posts: 277
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I have to say my parents couldn't have raised me better. Compared to what is out there, they sacrificed really hard to give me resources and advantages that other people would kill to have.
However, keeping with the purpose of the thread, I would have to let my mom know that religion shouldn't be used as a tool to justify debatable actions. Growing up, if my mom faced a decision, she would justify her decision by telling me that God told her to do or not to do something. If I objected or felt differently about the subject, she acted as if I was rejecting God, and punished me severely, even if the decision dealt with something relatively unimportant Although it forced me to be obedient at the time, once I got to college, rebellion came easy.
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05-22-2007, 12:51 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Beyond
Posts: 5,092
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My folks... Well... My mom still harps on me about my looks, weight, dress even though I am almost 40 years old. My dad harps on me about stupid stuff too then says foul stuff to me about my husband where I am too shocked to retort and if I did, I would say something I would regret later.
I love my parents, but what has happened to me in my life, I am reminded of my anger towards them. What do they owe me? Nothing. Do I deserve some sort of apology? Probably not. But, for ignorance to continue...
About some of the best things in my life that have happened to me is meeting my husband and marry him. I have become more independent from them than anything.
I guess, what I am upset with my folks about is their prying and meddling even though I am nearly 40 years old.
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06-25-2007, 10:35 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The "Go" known to outsiders as Chicago
Posts: 535
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It would go a little something like this
1. Everything isn't about you.
2. Stop making everything about you.
3. You don't have to yell to get your point across.
4. You don't need to throw the many sacrifices you made for me in my face, I do appreciate you mom.
5. Dad, since when does being a father, not a dad (there is a difference) every ten years of my life warrant a father's day gift?
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06-26-2007, 09:31 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The Matrix
Posts: 4,424
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You could have been a little more strict with me.
You could have left out a little more detail about your past.
You could have been a little less open and honest about some things.
I could have been less exposed to certain things.
Then again, that exposure/honesty/freedom made me the person I am today. So thank you, lol.
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06-26-2007, 09:55 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Somewhere trying to avoid pointless political conversations...Obama/Biden 08!
Posts: 318
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Wow this topic has really stirred up some emotions and feelings in me that I thought I suppressed. I now realize that I still have some animosity and pain against my mother for things that happened to me in my childhood. I love both of my parents to death; make no mistake about that. Although my mother did not verbally, or physically assault me I picked up a lot her opinions about me from the opinions of herself. Parents need to be careful of what they say, how they act and what they do because children are watching and they are developing a sense of what is right and what is wrong based on your actions and speech.
I always thought as a child that being fat was a bad thing not necessarily because my mother said it but because she was ALWAYS obsessing over how how much she weighed.
I had to constantly hear about how fat she was or how fat she is, or how fat she can't be, how many calories are in this meal, she needs to lose weight...and the list could on. By the way my mother has never weighed more than 140lbs and she is 5'7. I realized now that is the reason why I have such low self-esteem. I am standing at 5'9 and I've gain soo much weight when I was pregnant with my twin boys. When my boys were born they both weight 7lbs! It has been such a battle to get back into my size 6-8; I am now a good solid size 12. People tell me that I look great but I don't feel that way. My mother constantly comments about how much weight I picked up from being pregnant. She said "In a year that weight will be off and you will LOOK great again"...3 days after my sons were born.
Thanks God for my husband who could careless if I am a size 4 or 20. But my suggestion to parents especially mothers becareful not to obsess with weight especially in front your daughters. I know I just vented but I just needed to say that.
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