Men and women and breakups: Dissapointment vs. Betrayal

James · #1 05-08-2007, 01:42 PM

bump

33girl · #2 05-08-2007, 01:52 PM

betrayal often has nothing to do with what someone does. the worse betrayal is when you thought someone KNEW you and they had no clue. they weren't loving YOU, they were loving who they thought you were and they're disappointed when that's not the real thing, because that would be easier.

Thanks oodles, James, my day is effing depressing enough and then you bump this isht.

AlphaFrog · #3 05-08-2007, 01:58 PM

Odd time to bump this, as I just happened upon my Ex's facebook page this morning. (I kept saying that I would not join facebook, and then one of my chapter sisters sent me an invite and I gave in.) I haven't seen anything of him since we broke up - we haven't talked, IMed, seen eachother, etc. He did mail my class ring back to my parents house, but that's it. It's been almost 5 years, and I broke up with him, and yet, when I saw his main facebook pic was him kissing his girlfriend (the only other one he's had since me), I did feel betrayed.

Of course, it could have been because in the pic, he was wearing the shirt and tie that I gave him.

Sugar08 · #4 05-08-2007, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Of course, it could have been because in the pic, he was wearing the shirt and tie that I gave him.

Boooooo! I've been there, and it sucks.

I think guys definitely feel relieved, but I wouldn't go so far as to say all women feel betrayed - I just remember feeling very sad for a long time after my first college boyfriend and I broke up.

cheerfulgreek · #5 05-10-2007, 12:24 AM

I broke up with my X because he cheated on me. I never caught him in the act but I knew he did. He even admitted to it, after I broke up with him. Well, after I broke up with him, he kept begging to get back together, so I did, but I just couldn't stop thinking about what he did, so I broke up with him again. He thinks I betrayed him the 2nd time because I broke up with him for no reason. I should have never taken him back the 1st time.

AKA_Monet · #6 05-10-2007, 12:48 AM

All my break ups have been complete except for 1. Totally complete. No contact order is in effect... Better for my thought process.

Anyhow, if I broke up with my husband, I would move far away and change my hair color because that's what I usually do with I break up with someone. In this case, I probably shave my head like Brittney Spears and extremely lighten my hair color.

When I had break ups they were due to betrayal and disappointments. Folks break up for various reasons.

deeznutz · #7 05-10-2007, 10:06 AM

Simply put,
DISAPPOINTMENT:you feel sorry for them 4 a minute.....
BETRAYAL:you just gotta get down to it....and call CHEATERS just for the CONFRONTATION which is the best part.....

JOEY GRECCO IS MY HERO!!!!!!

Who nutz???????DEEZNUTZ!!!!!!!

ASUADPi · #8 05-30-2007, 11:21 PM

I think it depends on the breakup. I just ended things with a guy who we were having some issues. We discussed them over the phone and everything seemed okay and we were still making plans to see each other, then 3 hours later I get a nasty email and he is just chewing me to peices. He took on the "womans" role that James mentioned. What happened was that I was honest with him, I told him that I wanted to continue dating him to see where it would head but at this point in the relationship that I wasn't seeing marriage, kids and growing old together, which he was. My honesty hurt him and he lashed out. He started blaming me for everything that went wrong in the relationship (which I had said that I definately was at some fault). When I told him that I thought we should break up and take a step back and if we were truly "meant to be" we would be two weeks to two months from now, he did a 180 and started begging me not to break up and was saying everything was his fault.

I can't say I feel betrayed or really even disappointed. As crazy as this sounds I'm somewhat relieved. He was rushing the relationship (and all my friends and family are telling me it was because he has no family of his own) and I just wasn't ready to be "his family". Plus, I'm not sure how I entirely feel being with someone that insecure.

I can say though in other relationships when things end I definately have felt vindictive and upset, so I do agree with what you have said James.

christiangirl · #9 05-31-2007, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I can't say I feel betrayed or really even disappointed. As crazy as this sounds I'm somewhat relieved. He was rushing the relationship (and all my friends and family are telling me it was because he has no family of his own) and I just wasn't ready to be "his family". Plus, I'm not sure how I entirely feel being with someone that insecure.

This is EXACTLY why I ended my last relationship. Were we with the same guy???

Munchkin03 · #10 05-31-2007, 07:28 PM

Eh, I think it's based more on who's initiating the split, and not gender-specific.

I was freaking relieved and happy as hell when I broke up with my boyfriend of 5+ years, and he was the one who felt a little betrayed.