nphc and anxiety

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

Soror LG...first of all I have the upmost respect for anyone who pledged old school and am thankful for the legacy that was laid...believe that!

Now to explain my post, I don't believe that we (NPHCers) should "cuddle" (I think thats the word you used) anyone, there will be no skatin around me...but I do believe we sometimes on this board come off totally unapproachable...some OPs deserve the "ice-grills' for their lack of manners, intelligence, and just plain good sense, but I didn't get that vibe from this OP...some people, especially alot of these younger possibly 1st generation to attend college kids may not have a clue about the dos and don'ts and overall culture of BGLOs...unfortunate as it may be, on ALOT of campuses the "probate", coming out show, or whatever you want to call it is one of the most publicized events of an org, thats just real, so these kids see this as the epitome of our orgs..thats not their fault....true the kids who have a sibling, family member, or someone to guide them through the process should know that those are no where near the most important aspect of greek life, but those without any guidance honestly just may not know....as far as using the internet...thats just the sign of the times...kids start using computers in pre-school now...most research is net based now...and as far as approaching a current member of the chapter...in many undergrad chapters the lack of maturity and elitist mentality of members is often imtimidating to interests..we tell them to use discretion but if you walk up and ask a question about the org your interest, you're pretty much outted (sp)
..this was not supposed to be a book but honestly as for me...I will point anyone who approaches me respectful in the right direction if at all possible...someone did that for me and I'm compelled to do the same..

Please note I said they should talk to the advisors of the chapter, not the members. And yiou know what, we should come off as unapproachable about out intake processes, because it is against our rules to discuss them on public message boards. That is why we have disclaimers on our NPHC forums.

But to be accused of not rememebring when we were interests is a whole 'nother dicussion.

We have had our fair share of trolls and pseudos on this baord, so for some of us who have been here awhile we are naturally suspicious. That is why my first reaction was whether or not this was a legitimate post. We have also had a fair amount of discussions about step shows being what caused folx to pledge xyz org.

We have a lot of first generation college attendees on here and other boards. But they have also sought advice from teachers, mentors, etc. from the org. of their choice. The fact the OP talked about bids also indicating a general lack of knowledge about the NPHC. Which led to further suspicion, because she seemed to know about the NPC process, but not the NPHC process.

So I asked the question, why are you interested ina NPHC sorority, which was never answered. So now I will ask a follow up question to the OP. What is your ethnicity?

Oh and if she was really serious about an NPHC org, why not post the question on that forum rather than Greek Life? Maybe, she saw the disclaimers?

[AKA_Monet]

I agree Sistah LG.




I cannot afford another dues increase for real though. None of our organizations were founded on the basis of stepping and singing. Last I checked, we were founded to thwart the suffering in our communities. Then we evolved to serve various purposes--as you quite aware...

I personally was not an interest for my Sorority, I was legacy by 3 generations... My Sorority, was not "interesting" for me, it was EXTRAORDINARY for me... And I PLEDGED it that way almost 20 years ago as an "ivy" who transitioned into a soror of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.

But times change and things are different. There is no longer "ivies" and other pledges. That is now history. But the reality is, once one becomes a member of an NPHC organization, the dedication will not be measured by how many parties you train at... What matters is like a golden or a diamond soror told me, you enjoy the good times in the chapter, and you endure the hard times in the chapter...

That is how we play this game if we are serious.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

What matters is like a golden or a diamond soror told me, you enjoy the good times in the chapter, and you endure the hard times in the chapter...

That is how we play this game if we are serious.

I can not wait until I am a seasoned soror.

*Singing 'I Think That I Shall Never Know' (tear)

[L.O.C.K.]

Why does it matter what ethnicity she is? Regardless of what it is, she isn't familiar with the NPHC processes (plural b/c diff orgs do diff things ).

Is this the best possible forum to address the issue she brought up? No, most likely not. However, sometimes there is nowhere else to turn.

I'd rather hve give a "fake" poster a heartful true answer than have given a "real" poster a cynical "you're a troll" answer. Why? Because my organization believes in Righteousness, and I believe that is the righteous thing to do.

Random side comment:

Which D9 organizations is it legal to have a probate/coming out show?

I know Zetas can and Deltas can't (from what members in each org have told me). I assume Alphas, Kappas, Sigmas, Iotas and AKAs can since I've seen been to them or seen pics (Rashid's great pics of the 137 ...shameless plug for his photogallery at www.oldgoldsoul.com ahahaha)

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by L.O.C.K.

Which D9 organizations is it legal to have a probate/coming out show?

I know Zetas can and Deltas can't (from what members in each org have told me). I assume Alphas, Kappas, Sigmas, Iotas and AKAs can since I've seen been to them or seen pics (Rashid's great pics of the 137 ...shameless plug for his photogallery at www.oldgoldsoul.com ahahaha)

LMAO.....I'm just the photographer, I don't really know the rules..... but also know that not everything on my site is technically a coming out show. SOme of it was literally just girls singing on the yard for the first time.

APhiA has no rules against coming out shows to my knowledge. But I do know that some chapters choose not to promote them widely.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by L.O.C.K.

I'd rather hve give a "fake" poster a heartful true answer than have given a "real" poster a cynical "you're a troll" answer. Why? Because my organization believes in Righteousness, and I believe that is the righteous thing to do.

Random side comment:

Which D9 organizations is it legal to have a probate/coming out show?

I know Zetas can and Deltas can't (from what members in each org have told me). I assume Alphas, Kappas, Sigmas, Iotas and AKAs can since I've seen been to them or seen pics (Rashid's great pics of the 137 ...shameless plug for his photogallery at www.oldgoldsoul.com ahahaha)

I don't think many of us (at least myself) gave the 'your're a troll' response.


Alpha Kappa Alpha does not have 'probate' shows.

[ejay286]

Her ethnicity should not be a question. Perhaps she is from a predominately white campus where NPC orgs are the majority, yet an NPHC org has really caught her eye so yeah she is probably confused about the differences. I don't think she asked once about how the intake process goes or anything like that anyway so she didn't violate any rules. She was just wanting to get opinions on something that she was very nervouse about.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by ejay286

Her ethnicity should not be a question. Perhaps she is from a predominately white campus where NPC orgs are the majority, yet an NPHC org has really caught her eye so yeah she is probably confused about the differences. I don't think she asked once about how the intake process goes or anything like that anyway so she didn't violate any rules. She was just wanting to get opinions on something that she was very nervouse about.

Please let us handle this. I could not even imagine explaining to someone about the process of pledging a NPC organization or really intelligently even speak on anything about them so I don't. So your lack of knowledge about the NPHC's process just adds to more confusion for others and carries an expectation for explanation which probably won't happen. We know our regulations and policies and we often times can sniff out a faker.

[quietriot]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

We have had our fair share of trolls and pseudos on this baord, so for some of us who have been here awhile we are naturally suspicious. That is why my first reaction was whether or not this was a legitimate post. We have also had a fair amount of discussions about step shows being what caused folx to pledge xyz org.

We have a lot of first generation college attendees on here and other boards. But they have also sought advice from teachers, mentors, etc. from the org. of their choice. The fact the OP talked about bids also indicating a general lack of knowledge about the NPHC. Which led to further suspicion, because she seemed to know about the NPC process, but not the NPHC process.

So I asked the question, why are you interested ina NPHC sorority, which was never answered. So now I will ask a follow up question to the OP. What is your ethnicity?

Oh and if she was really serious about an NPHC org, why not post the question on that forum rather than Greek Life? Maybe, she saw the disclaimers?

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by quietriot

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

Sweetheart, how old are you? And do you have ANYONE in your extended family that can answer some of these questions? Like a cousin, uncle sister's brother's wife's cousin's great grandmother?

And I would start with this site:

The National Panhellenic Council: http://www.nphchq.org

It would help you give yourself a "clue" and some vital knowlege. And there's always Wikipedia...

You know there's a difference between SORORity and FRATERNity? Right?

And with anything else, the NPHC organizations are about grades and units.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Originally Posted by quietriot

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

look...I am so not a bleeding heart most of the time, so maybe it's because I work in mental health and know how real these issues can be, but I believe that you really just asked a question that you were concerned about in your first post...unfortunately, alot of a$$wipes come around here just to start trouble so members of orgs are often skeptical of posters....now because your tone in your post has changed to frustation thats going to start a whole nother $hitstorm...thats just the "is what it is" of GC...there are a couple of people in the thread who said to PM them if you wanted to...use those invitations and you can add my name to that list....remember that your community service and academics are more important than anything else...good luck in your endeavors...

oh yeah, and if there is anyone who you can trust and have access to who is in a NPHC org i.e. teachers, ministers, neighbors, start your quest there...

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by quietriot

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

I just think it was a dumb question to ask a bunch of strangers that hold no decision making weight on what a sorority on your campus may do. Also we're at the end of a school year so even if you were a freshman, something should have clicked. And if you are really doing research the only question or most important question you came up with was about probates/coming out shows? I'm not unsympathetic to anyone that has any type of illness physical or mental health, but had you been interacting with the chapter of interest and really researching this question most likely would have been answered by someone that can provide you with quality feedback because they know you and have a personal relationship with you.

[ejay286]

Originally Posted by quietriot

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

Great post! I wish you luck in all your endeavors.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by ejay286

Great post! I wish you luck in all your endeavors.

Stop lying Neo!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ejay286

Great post! I wish you luck in all your endeavors.

Boooo to you all for actually reading it.