nphc and anxiety

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

Just be clear...we (NPHC) are not saying a person with a disability (physical or mental) will not get into our organizations. What we are saying is that there are many chances where this young lady will be put into social situations (chapter, cluster, regional, boule, service, etc.). For example we (speaking for my chapter) have forums, info tables dealing with our targets, and other thins that require members to be out and about speaking to the public and strangers nontheless.

I don't want the impression to be that we discriminate on disiability or ability for that matter.

Yes, to concur with my Soror 1908Revelations, some of our famous members have mental disabilities that are very public (Soror Jada Pinkett Smith). In fact that is one of our main community service platforms for the next 3 years under Health Resource Management.

We are to assist in the planning and informing our communities in which we serve about mental illness and disabilities.

However, interests who want to join will be placed into situations that could be uncomfortable. But it is the same as applying for a job.

But quietriot requested info on probating... According to the NPHC bylaws and my Sorority's bylaws, probating is view during membership intake process as illegal. Now, whether that is realistic, well from the outside looking in mentality and like various different perspectives not everything is as it seems...

[quietriot]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

I was thinking about this, and here's what I came up with:

From what other people [NPHC members] have said, this could be a big problem for you. If it does turn out that it won't work for you, you COULD consider pledging a non-NPHC GLO. Is it really be-all end-all that you pledge NPHC?

I don't really know a whole lot about NPHC, and I'm not trying to drive the wrong way down the boulevard so if I've said something stupid, please recognize that I'm trying to help by offering an alternative idea.

I'm actually already a member of alpha phi omega. i love them to death and i love what we do, but at least in our group there's not this close bond between the members that i see in an nphc glo. i guess because apo is designed to be kind of a part-time thing almost so it can fit anyone's schedule.

[quietriot]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

But quietriot requested info on probating... According to the NPHC bylaws and my Sorority's bylaws, probating is view during membership intake process as illegal. Now, whether that is realistic, well from the outside looking in mentality and like various different perspectives not everything is as it seems...

wait probating is illegal?

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by quietriot

wait probating is illegal?

"Probate" shows are exhibitions of pledges/probationary members BEFORE they are initiated. THOSE are illegal.

Probate shows that you are refering to are actually neophyte shows, new member presentations, debuts, etc.

PS, I am in APO too.

[ejay286]

I guess I am going to go against the grain with this one and say that I agree with the NPC girl who was speaking earlier and say that if they don't accept you over something you cant help then that is just ridiculous. As a member of Omega Psi Phi we have about 2 or 3 members in our chapter who couldnt hop to Atomic Dog if their life depended on it. But that has nothing to do with the aim or the purpose of our organization so we don't look down own them for that. One of them is our acting Keeper of Records and Seal (secretary) and he does a very good job and another has a very high GPA and great social skills.

Everyone isnt going to be good at everything but I bet there is a way that you could help the sorority you wish to join in a positive way. I know a member of phi beta sigma who has no arms, would it be right for them to reject him because he wouldn't be able to hand out flyers? I think not. If you have other great qualities then you should have no problem with your organization. The AKA's at my school had 20 new members but only 13 of them participated in the "probate" show. The others decided not too and it was no big deal. NPHC orgs are not only about stepping and/or any other sole social aspect, they are about well rounded people. So if you cant speak publicily I am sure there are members of the org you wish to join who can, and i bet there are aspects that they fall short in that you are strong in.

And please don't down this girl because she doesn't understand the way the membership intake process goes, she obviously is interested so don't turn her away.

[Senusret I]

ejay, are you familiar with how social anxiety works? If you are, then you'll understand that your examples of physical disability or challenged dance abilities are not the same as having anxiety attacks when the center of attention.

[1908Revelations]

ejay, although you made some good points, I agree with Senusret I. The reason why as LG said the OP didn't mention how she would be afraid infront of crowds doing service, or handing out fliers, she ONLY asked about 'probates', I wish she had asked about the work that goes into making NPHC orgs function. I think most of us are trying to get her to understand there are many more instances than probates where one may be the center of attention.

[DSTRen13]

If you are on your meds and are very diligent and careful about taking them, then you might be alright. I know a guy with SAD and he has done really well in his fraternity, but it is an IFC group, and it is different. And he is good with his meds. Personally, I have epilepsy, and I cannot stress enough, you have to take care of yourself and take your meds or whatever you need to do, or you are going to have a problem. Again, just being honest.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Probate shows that you are refering to are actually neophyte shows, new member presentations, debuts, etc.

Calling them probate shows is illegal. We need to quit using and encouraging the use of that term.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by ejay286

And please don't down this girl because she doesn't understand the way the membership intake process goes, she obviously is interested so don't turn her away.

WHAT!!!! How can we turn her away? We are not members of her chapter of interest. She came here seeking advice, it was given to her.

And I can't believe that you of all people read into our posts that NPHCers do not take people with challenges, being them physical or mental.

Again, our biggest issue is that a coming out show is only one minor activity among the myriad that she will be faced with that involve public spotlight. She needs to understand that.

[ejay286]

Okay, well as not only an NPHCer but as a man, which is our first cardinal principle, i admit that you guys were probably right about alot of things and i wasnt. I wish this girl the best in all her endeavors. Maybe i responded like that because i have seen one too many times where a person asks a simple question and instead of politely educating them on a matter it seems as if we throw them to the dogs (no pun intended lol). I believe in discretion as much as the next person but i think sometimes we take it a little overboard IMHO.

[Senusret I]

I think you were right, but about a different question. If that makes sense.

[quietriot]

i only mentioned probate because that's the thing i would have the most trouble with. everyday things like giving speeches, conventions, service, talking to strangers, handing out flyers or whatnot, i can do that stuff if i have to because i have coping skills to handle those situations because i've done it for whatever reason many times before.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by quietriot

i only mentioned probate because that's the thing i would have the most trouble with. everyday things like giving speeches, conventions, service, talking to strangers, handing out flyers or whatnot, i can do that stuff if i have to because i have coping skills to handle those situations because i've done it for whatever reason many times before.

how would you know if probating would be the "most trouble" you would have? have you been in a situation similar and you had an anxiety attack? i say this because people probate and prepare for it ahead of time - its not something spur of the moment.

i dont know the first think about SAD. but i would imagine that all the things you mentioned above that you could "cope with,' are going to be similar to probating - giving information, hyping your audience, etc.

*not that a probate show should be your first priority, but this has already been mentioned, just like all the obvious statements from NPHCers*

[UGAalum94]

I'm not pretending to know what's involved in being a full, beneficial member of an NPHC, but I do want to sympathize with the OP about finding some situations more stressful than others, and if I had, which as far as I know I do not, a social or mental disorder (although some of you may disagree ), I too know that I could handle informal situations fine, but that a formal situation with all eyes on me is different than other situations.

I could flyer, recruit, promote, table, work in groups all day long, but being on stage by myself fills my heart with dread.