Sweethearts wearing letters?

[punkgurl]

I go to a school with a really small Greek system which might account for the loose policy of wearing letters. Girls with fraternity boyfriends often wear their letters- both their Greek letters and the letters spelled out. Although lavialering is not popular at my campus. Men only wear sorority letters on shirts where there is more than one organization-- like our Greek homecoming t-shirts and Greek Week t-shirts. Our girls are allowed to wear our letters right after the pledging ceremony but they often don't have them until Mom's Night (our version of big lis/lil sis is moms & daughters, it's easier to keep track of families). Our girls also have a lot of frat shirts even when they haven't dated a member of the frat. They may have been given to an older member and was then passed down or taken from a frat house back in the day when they stole stuff from each other a lot. We especially have a lot of TKE letters floating around.

[Ohsass]

this is complicated isn't it? Well, let's see, I'd say no, with one exception....if the fraternity as a whole has agreed that it is something they give to all girls who are lavaliered. The difference is that the whole fraternity is giving their approval as in a sweetheart- see the difference?

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Ohsass: That makes sense. But then would it be okay for a lavaliered woman to have "Girlfriend" or something written on the sleeve, or under letters?

I'm not trying to be controversial, just to see exactly what you feel is okay and not okay, so don't think I'm picking a fight!

Not a problem, I don't ruffle easily :-) So let's see, I'd say my answer is no with one exception and this is the key here...only if the whole fraternity has agreed to make it a practice and it was officially approved. It comes back down to one individual taking it upon themselves to decide what the whole group should accept with no say in the matter.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Ohsass: That makes sense. But then would it be okay for a lavaliered woman to have "Girlfriend" or something written on the sleeve, or under letters?

I'm not trying to be controversial, just to see exactly what you feel is okay and not okay, so don't think I'm picking a fight!

Originally Posted by Ohsass

one more thought here...I was also lavaliered. I wore my necklace almost every day, it was small, not conspicuous and really only meant something to Greeks who understood the significance. The difference here is subtlety and respect.

Though I was a little sister, I also would not attend a joint function with another sorority at Delts out of respect for that sorority. Again, it gave the impression that you were trying to take a place that was not earned.

I was president of the Li'l Sisters and it was a rule I imparted that that was crashing. Though it wasn't a written fraternity rule, it would present an awkward situation for the Delts to explain. i.e.. "Oh, who is she? She's a little sister. Sure you don't mind them being here too?" The only exception was open parties or parties were Lil sisters were expressly invited.

My advisor husband is attending chapter tonight and plans to bring this up to "his boys". He is going to open it for discussion and follow their consensus. I will be sure to post their reply. By the way, I still have my lavalier and will be wearing it to our Founders Day Formal this weekend. Been a VERY long time since I've been invited to a Delt Formal ;-)

Ok - so Delt Hubby brought up the entire discussion of who can wear letters, aside from the stated policy regarding pledges it was agreed that:

1) event/fundraiser t-shirts - always ok whether greek or non-greek i.e. "DTD Relay for Life"

2) Sweetheart and Lil Sis - ok but with clear prominent designation stating "Sweetheart" or "Lil Sis" (point being whole fraternity voted on their status)

3) lavaliered or pinned - necklace/pin ok, but his letters on official Delt clothing meant for brothers - no way (includes his shirts or buying them herself at a Greek store)

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Ohsass

2) Sweetheart and Lil Sis - ok but with clear prominent designation stating "Sweetheart" or "Lil Sis" (point being whole fraternity voted on their status)

Do you mean biological little sister (such as TKE has badges for mothers and bio sisters)? There's no such thing as Fraternity little sisters any more.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Do you mean biological little sister (such as TKE has badges for mothers and bio sisters)? There's no such thing as Fraternity little sisters any more.

Is that so? Hum...truly none system wide or just your fraternity? Regardless, no I did not mean bio sibs. I took notes on what my husband told me so that is what I shared. He may have added Lil Sis for the sake of explaining the differences so I understood. But I guess what I'm seeing throughout this thread is that stead fast rules do not apply everywhere. It is all about what each individual chapter or approves.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Ohsass

Is that so? Hum...truly none system wide or just your fraternity?

None. System-wide. Although that's probably been a changed from when your husband was in school. Little sister groups used to be popular before they were banned. (And yes, I realize some school still have them, but they're not technically allowed anywhere.)

Oh, and I'm in a sorority.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Those aren't anyone's personal belongings yet, and, as you said, it's their job to do so. I really don't see that as the same thing. What I am talking about is for both of my orgs, I have items that I would consider it rude for anyone not a part of the sorority to handle (my letter jacket, my paddle, my pins, my pledge book (for OPhiA), etc.). I'm not saying that everyone has to feel this way, but to me, I would have a problem with it.

So if you went over to somebody's house wearing your jacket and they offered to take your coat, you wouldn't let them?

[tsutexann14]

Here if your greek you can pretty much were any other greeks stuff, we have greek week and stuff like that and we get t-shirts made, but as far as none greeks go its usually the girls that are "dropped" or they are a sweetheart!

Shannon
Sigma Alpha~Alpha Zeta #109
Tarleton State Universtiy
"Good, Better, Best.
Never let it rest,
Until your good is better,
and your better is best!" -???

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by tsutexann14

Here if your greek you can pretty much were any other greeks stuff, we have greek week and stuff like that and we get t-shirts made, but as far as none greeks go its usually the girls that are "dropped" or they are a sweetheart!

Um, what???

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

None. System-wide. Although that's probably been a changed from when your husband was in school. Little sister groups used to be popular before they were banned. (And yes, I realize some school still have them, but they're not technically allowed anywhere.)

Oh, and I'm in a sorority.

Well, I'll be darned! That's kind of a shame because yes, we did party with the brothers but we supported them in a lot of philanthropic stuff. I will have to research more on why they were banned. Must be the history major in me I appreciate the info and thank you for the correction.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

So if you went over to somebody's house wearing your jacket and they offered to take your coat, you wouldn't let them?

I think there are assumed exceptions to what the poster was trying to relay. You are just being a silly goose (no harm intended)

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

None. System-wide. Although that's probably been a changed from when your husband was in school. Little sister groups used to be popular before they were banned. (And yes, I realize some school still have them, but they're not technically allowed anywhere.)

Oh, and I'm in a sorority.

For anyone interested in more info, Greekchat has a relatively recent thread (ie - current decade ;-) I found it when I googled "Banning Little Sisters in fraternities". The Greekchat thread was "Little Sisters/Sweathearts". Use Greekchat search with that phrase.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Ohsass

I think there are assumed exceptions to what the poster was trying to relay. You are just being a silly goose (no harm intended)

I want to know more. I have friends in NPHC organizations and have touched their letters on occasion when doing things like handing them their jacket, borrowing a pen, etc. I want to know why on earth this is such a big deal. One of my friends has an XYZ pillow in her office that I am sure many of her clients have sat on.

[susan314]

What about rush shirts?

Maybe fraternities don't do this anymore, but back in the day...fraternities used to have rush shirts. (Rush XYZ, or some more clever slogan, etc.) It was quite common for female friends or girlfriends to be given these shirts. (Of course, it was generally the very attractive female friends or girlfriends who were given these shirts...I always assumed it was a form of advertising. As if it was implied that by rushing XYZ, you'd be hanging out with a bunch of hot babes.)