Quote:
Originally Posted by TSteven
I believe you may have meant to say before, *his* letters. Regardless either is not true. It may be something women like to think, but it belongs in the Greek Life Myths Department.
Lavaliering, giving letters, pinning etc. is a serious sign of affection. But it in no ways signifies putting the girl before his fraternity. To be clear, to some it may. Some fraternities have specific guidelines about lavaliering or "giving of letters" as it were. In no way does the fraternity say, "Oh yeah, even though we sanction it, when you do this you are putting the girl before us." Not true.
The historical concept is that most college men did not have the money to purchase rings or jewelry. Many do not now. So they gave from what they had. A "token" of something to come - i.e. the engagement ring. Since they wanted the token to have some significance, and often the only jewelry they owned, they would pin (give their badge) to their girlfriend. Again, often with the understanding that an engagement ring was to follow.
Over the years, other types of jewelry has been developed. Many fraternities have "sweetheart" pins for their girlfriends and even their mothers.
So again, there is no fact based truth that when a guy gives his letters (in any form) that he is putting the girl before his fraternity. But to be clear, it does (should) mean that he is serious about the relationship.
And as everyone else has said, lavaliering has nothing to do with the sharing of Ritual. To be clear - nothing.
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Actually I meant to type "your" but same difference.
I have seen guys get harassed when they lavalier their girlfriend particularly when their chapter has a ceremony for it. That's only continued the idea that it's a big deal to give a woman your letters.
I see it as a continuation of "getting pinned" (a la Bye Bye Birdie) and a sign you're going steady. But as my boyfriend is not in a fraternity I have no first hand experience, only watching what happened on campus.
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