Getting your parents to support you joining a GLO

[FSUZeta]

do you live at home and commute to campus?

[susan314]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

do you live at home and commute to campus?

That's what I was wondering too. (Either that, or possibly her hometown is close to campus and she goes home every weekend?)

She just hates it that I can't get out of mandatory events. For some reason, she thinks that I am always at a mandatory event (which I'm not!)

Do you think it would ease her mind if you showed her a copy of the chapter calendar and explained that you know well in advance what the "mandatory" events are? Which, in turn, gives you plenty of advanced notice to budget your time, studies, and other activities accordingly? (In that regard, you could even put a positive spin on it and show how balancing the chapter activities with your other obligations is teaching you good time management skills? After all, in the "real world" one day you may find yourself juggling work, family obligations, children's events, social functions, charitable work, etc. How fabulous is it that you're learning those very relevant "real world" skills now? )

I know that Alpha Gamma Delta has specific requirements when the chapter is setting the calendar and determining mandatory events - one of which is requiring a "free weekend" every month. Perhaps by sharing this information with your mom, it will help alleviate her concerns a little and show that what you have on your plate is manageable?

I'm sure part of it is just that she's having a hard time letting her baby go. Especially if you still live at home and sorority life has changed what was previously a "comfortable routine" for her. Its something that we all have to deal with eventually (thankfully my kids are still little tykes so I have awhile ), but with some reassurance from you it might help to make things a little easier for her to accept.

P.S. I'm a Chapter Advisor, and there are spurts of time where I have a lot going on over at the chapter house. I don't have to justify my activities to my parents anymore, but sometimes I do have to explain to my husband (who did not attend a school with a Greek system) why I'm needed at the chapter house "again." So, in that regard, I feel your pain.

[Tom Earp]

When parents have never gone to college or been members of a GLO, they do not understand of course.

I was the first for both and they learned to love the Brothers of the local and the LXA Colony! Became second parents for many!

One of our Presidents never told his parents that he was in a Fraternity as they were strongly against it because of being farmers in Kansas and felt poor. It was a waste of money and time!

We had a Founders Day and they showed up while a bunch of were standing on the deck when the came up! They asked for Jerehma AND one of the Guys holloraed at him inside of the house and he came out and was totally surprised.

The presented him with an emerald Badge as they were so proud of him.

Wow what a surprise for J and all of us!

So that you wonder what is going on and when parents find out there is much more than doing parties they feel fine!

Ask them to come over, find out what you do as far as charity events and running offices on campus and being involved!

[shinerbock]

You get better deals on coke if you buy it in bulk.

[AGDLynn]

I can relate to what Susan says. I too am a CA and I get phone calls from parents about "mandatory" events and why are there parties on school nights.

There are Fraternity events that are mandatory but those are usually once a year. There are certain chapter events that are mandatory but we try to limit those.

Almost all events are Sunday through Thursday because almost everyone goes home on the weekend. If we get our new house, maybe that will change.

Show the calendar and pictures.

Does your chapter have a parents club and/or newsletter? That would help.

[SigmaKappaRoyal]

You didn't mention, but did you maybe spend more time with her before you joined the sorority? You did mention that it's been hard for her to adjust to your being away from home. Maybe make a plan to spend some quality time together, and keep the date.

It also sounds like maybe she thinks sorority stuff will get in the way of academics. Really study for and do well on a few papers/exams/projects, whatever, and show her the results of your hard work. Also maybe you can take advantage of house study hours, study files, study-buddies, etc, and let her know that your sisters are helping you that way. Once she sees you are not sacrificing school work for fun, she may realize that she doesn't have to worry about that.

[techkitty]

I didn't have any problems breaking the news to my parents. Of course, when I explained to them what Gamma Sigma Sigma was all about, they were thrilled that I was doing more to help out the community. (I get more flack from my friends, about it not being a "real" sorority since we're service oriented, etc) My mom and dad were thrilled when they found out I got in last week.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

Hello,

That is one thing that I've heard at home.

Just curious, what is the average cost of dues and fees for a member of a Greek organization. I'm trying to get an idea if it is feasible, or not, without parental financial support.

Thanks in advance!

It verys by Organization of course. The size of the campus and Greek Organizations.
Normaly it will of cost more joining any group on campus. Many times the cost of living in a GLO house is a little cheaper than either on campus or off campus as the rent.

But, what it costs is the important thing!

What do you get out of being a member of a GLO!

You learn to:

run your life.
you learn to lead in your life.
you learn how to work with people who may not be just like you.

You will learn how to be more productive at a lot cost than you may think!

[susan314]

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

Hello,

That is one thing that I've heard at home.

Just curious, what is the average cost of dues and fees for a member of a Greek organization. I'm trying to get an idea if it is feasible, or not, without parental financial support.

Thanks in advance!

It varies from campus to campus, and chapter to chapter.

If you know where you will be attending college (or at least have it narrowed down to a few campuses), you should be able to get the information specific to that campus from the Greek Life office. It may even be available on their website. NPC groups are required to make this information available as a part of rush. I'm not sure whether fraternities have the same requirement nationally (you didn't mention your gender, so I'm not sure which pertains to you ), but I know that many campuses do have fraternity info available anyhow.

That will help you get the information most relevant to you. Rather than a hodge podge of info from GC posters around the country from very different campuses.

[Tom Earp]

It will vary from GLO to GLO!

But, in the overall picture it will be well worth it in the People that you meet and become Brothers with if you so do.

You can and learn so much more, how to be a part of a larger group, become an Officer and learn how to lead others. It will also be expected to have good grades to help not only yourself but your Brothers of the chapter.

Will you learn to be a part of something bigger yes. Will you donate time for helping others than yourself, yes.

Will there be Brothers who may halp you down the road upon graduation or members of other GLOs, yes.

So, what is the cost on that?

There is only one person that needs to make that decission and that it you!

"I will never tell a person to not go Greek"!

[paulam]

I learned that we had a Mothers' Club in my hometown and urged my mother to attend a meeting. To her surprise, she found two of her card playing buddies (her girls as she called them) were members of the Mothers' Club and since she had known their daughters since they were babies, I had her blessing. My Mom ended up being President of the Mothers' Club and turned into an avid booster. We invited our parents to our yearly formal and made sure to acknowledge them and honor them for their support on Parents Weekend.

We also asked for help in organizing our house and they threw us a "shower" with our alumnae chapter to help us obtain new items.

My Mom particularly liked the idea of mandatory study nights and she was proud when I rose to a position of leadership in my chapter. Keep emphasizing the positives and get your parents involved.

Long time SDT alum wishing her Mom was still around.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by paulam

I learned that we had a Mothers' Club in my hometown and urged my mother to attend a meeting. To her surprise, she found two of her card playing buddies (her girls as she called them) were members of the Mothers' Club and since she had known their daughters since they were babies, I had her blessing. My Mom ended up being President of the Mothers' Club and turned into an avid booster. We invited our parents to our yearly formal and made sure to acknowledge them and honor them for their support on Parents Weekend.

We also asked for help in organizing our house and they threw us a "shower" with our alumnae chapter to help us obtain new items.

My Mom particularly liked the idea of mandatory study nights and she was proud when I rose to a position of leadership in my chapter. Keep emphasizing the positives and get your parents involved.

Long time SDT alum wishing her Mom was still around.

Amazing how small the world is.

Thank You!

[ΑΓΔSquirrel10]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

do you live at home and commute to campus?

I live on campus, but it's in my hometown (I live 20 minutes away from home). I guess my mom is having a hard time letting me go. I'm the oldest, so this is all new for my mom. My mom did say at the beginning of the school year that is was harder for her knowing that I was only 20 minutes away, yet she still couldn't see me. Thanks to everyone for the advice! I'm hoping that next year she will have a completely different attitude about my commitment to Alpha Gam.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrel10

I live on campus, but it's in my hometown (I live 20 minutes away from home). I guess my mom is having a hard time letting me go. I'm the oldest, so this is all new for my mom. My mom did say at the beginning of the school year that is was harder for her knowing that I was only 20 minutes away, yet she still couldn't see me. Thanks to everyone for the advice! I'm hoping that next year she will have a completely different attitude about my commitment to Alpha Gam.

I commend you on sticking to your guns. As you get along in college/life, your mom's going to see you less and less. By standing firm and attending things like chapter, even if your mom doesn't understand why it's important to do that instead of spending time with her, is part of the whole push-pull process of becoming a fully independent adult. If you were still living under her roof, that would be one thing, but if you're living at campus you'll most likely find yourself becoming more and more independent from your family.

Holding strong at this phase will only help your mom deal with the inevitable, bigger transitions in the future (i.e. getting a job and moving away).

[FSUZeta]

it must be hard to try to help your mom understand and to help her accept that you are getting on with your life as you should. do you go home every weekend(and spend the night) or are you expected to be there for sunday dinner? it sounds like you might need to wean your mother from you being so available.

would it work into your schedule for you to set aside a day, or an afternoon, to spend with your mom-just you and your mom, noone else? tell her that is her special day, to do what she would like to do with you.

lynn had a brought up a great idea-if your chapter doesn't have a parents club, maybe your mom could help start one. that would involve her in the sorority and help her meet other parents.