Mother-in-laws

[AChiOhSnap]

I think the vast majority of "bad MIL" stories aren't actually a result from a seriously evil, hovering MIL and a totally victimized, innocent DIL.

I think that most MIL problems mostly occur when the MIL/DILs can't or won't be flexible with "the way things are done." People get really passionate about their traditions, familial expectations, and boundaries. So when Mary MIL suggests that maybe Danielle DIL should quit her job to stay home with the kids, Danielle is like "Hell no, this is my life and my family, butt out" and Mary is totally offended, saying "How could you go against our family tradition like that? That's not what's best for my son and grandkids." Of course, this pisses off Danielle even more and the whole debate becomes a point of extended familial contention. And thus an ugly MIL/DIL relationship begins to snowball.

Now for my future MIL stories...
Let me first say that I really love my FMIL. She's a great person and we get along very well, and she's even told my fiance that she wants to be the most easygoing MIL ever. For the most part, she's been an absolute angel. That said, she's a little "kooky" in some really funny ways. She's not exactly the most "in touch" person while I'd say my fiance and I are culturally "with it" as most 20somethings are (i.e. we know how to perform a Google search and we know that Britney Spears is a singer, etc.)

My only funny MIL stories have to do with a total, utter breakdown in communication due to what can only be described as cultural boundaries (in that I live in 2007 and she lives in 1975). For instance, MIL wanted to give my younger brother a birthday present. She asked me for ideas, so I gave her a few ideas like video games, electronic equipment, books, etc. She ended up giving my brother a bunch of Star Wars action figures. Now my brother likes Star Wars as much as any other guy, I guess, but he certainly isn't like a die-hard fan. I should also mention that brother's a COLLEGE FRESHMAN and hasn't owned toys in years. (My fiance later spoke to FMIL and the only thing she ever said about it is that someone told her that Star Wars action figures can be worth a lot of money and that she thought that they would be nice "collectibles"). Thanks for the thought anyway MIL! She's funny like that.

Other quirks include FMIL's habit of using what she perceives to be "rap slang" around black men (embarassing), mailing me every magazine/newspaper article/printed-out chain email that she believes might be remotely related to my life....everyday (annoying), and owning a pet rat that I think is rabid (scary).

She means well.