Jack & Jill

firecracker08 · #1 03-21-2007, 10:13 AM

I have a different question about J&J. Forgive my naivete, but I thought of J&J as a way for Af. Am. children to interact with one another when in communities that may not afford children of similar backgrounds to meet and greet each other. Is the purpose different now?

NiaX · #2 03-21-2007, 12:38 PM

I was a child member of J-n-J back from 1986 to 1998. Yes your Mother has to be invited b/c the org is an org of MOTHERS helping their children. In my city we had 2 chapters (folks were crazy to do that.. but oh well) and they were trying to extend invites to the most influential Mothers (sometimes the moms got invited b/c of who the husband was...) in the city. Being influential doesn't mean rich all the time, but they were the power players.

Firecracker08... I think that depends on what city... cause in a sense it is... but if you have kids coming from money backgrounds... J&J was no better than a Links or Girlfriends mtg with kids....(and I bet you will find the same membership overlapping in all those orgs and in the sororities...)

Senusret I · #3 03-21-2007, 12:39 PM

This is gonna sound silly probably...... but are Jack and Jill daughters given some sort of legacy consideration? How about wives of Jack and Jill sons?

Senusret I · #4 03-21-2007, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

This is gonna sound silly probably...... but are Jack and Jill daughters given some sort of legacy consideration? How about wives of Jack and Jill sons?

never mind, the answer is on the Jack and Jill website

ladygreek · #5 03-21-2007, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

This is gonna sound silly probably...... but are Jack and Jill daughters given some sort of legacy consideration? How about wives of Jack and Jill sons?

I think it depends on the chapter! Although I was a Jack and Jill kid in the Lou, I was denied admittance into The Minneapolis chapter, because I was a single Mom! And the national president of J&J had been my nursery school teacher and a good friend of my Mom's. They were livid, but I basically told them if that is how this chapter thinks, I don't want to be in it anyway and have my child face any ridicule!

Now my child is a MBA and senior marketing manager for a large consumer products company and some of those kids are.... let's just say their modicum of success is rather lower. Not to mention the number of mothers who are now divorced. - LOL

ETA: Summerchild I posted this before I read your post. Amen!

ladygreek · #6 03-21-2007, 11:42 PM

The invitation process:

The kids are divided into age groups. Each chapter sets a limit for the number of kids in a group. When a vacancy occurs, i.e. the child moves to the next group, or the family moves, then mothers are nominated that have a child in that age group. If the mother who is accepted has other children then they are also accepted in the other age groups, vacancy or not. Sorta like add-ons.

I was an add-on, because my mother was invited because of my younger sister. So I had to fit in with a group that had been together for many years. If any of you are from the Lou, suffice it to say that Michael Roberts was in my group, or rather I was in his. His younger brother was in my sister's group.

black_princess · #7 03-21-2007, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiaX

I was a child member of J-n-J back from 1986 to 1998. Yes your Mother has to be invited b/c the org is an org of MOTHERS helping their children. In my city we had 2 chapters (folks were crazy to do that.. but oh well) and they were trying to extend invites to the most influential Mothers (sometimes the moms got invited b/c of who the husband was...) in the city. Being influential doesn't mean rich all the time, but they were the power players.

Firecracker08... I think that depends on what city... cause in a sense it is... but if you have kids coming from money backgrounds... J&J was no better than a Links or Girlfriends mtg with kids....(and I bet you will find the same membership overlapping in all those orgs and in the sororities...)

Though I don't have any children as of yet, I can't help but wonder, what does that mean for mothers and children who are not in these other organizations (where you say membership laps over), are not power players or big movers & shakers, or have the pleasure of knowing members? Instead, they are "regular people" who are successfully employed and do good work in their community. Does this mean that their kids are left out because of lack of connections although they may be good contributors to the organization? *Just thinking out loud*

risingstar · #8 03-21-2007, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by black_princess

Though I don't have any children as of yet, I can't help but wonder, what does that mean for mothers and children who are not in these other organizations (where you say membership laps over), are not power players or big movers & shakers, or have the pleasure of knowing members? Instead, they are "regular people" who are successfully employed and do good work in their community. Does this mean that their kids are left out because of lack of connections although they may be good contributors to the organization? *Just thinking out loud*

Awesome question. I was wondering the same thing. Thanks.

black_princess · #9 03-21-2007, 02:00 PM

No problem . . risingstar. I guess that's why they say it couldn't hurt to ask 'cause someone else might be wondering the same thing

But the main reason I ask is because I was working with a young man yesterday (school tutor) and he has soo much talent (he's published some of his poetry, he's a musician with a cd, a comedian, and an all around smart guy . . he calls himself a renniasance (sp) man). But his concern was that in the NY project in which he lives no one will ever "find" him (talent wise). I was just thinking that this 14 year old could possiblely benifit from that advantages and opportunities that J&J may offer, but how would he and other great students, parents, ect who may or may not be in such a difficult situation in the words of my student "get found" or find their way to the organization?

Senusret I · #10 03-21-2007, 02:31 PM

There are plenty of youth development non-profit organizations that can help the young man continue on a positive path. http://www.citykids.com is just one of them.

Otherwise, he needs to go to high school, go to college, and work on finding himself, not getting found.

He is not a victim, he is a winner.

NinjaPoodle · #11 03-21-2007, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiaX

Firecracker08... I think that depends on what city... cause in a sense it is... but if you have kids coming from money backgrounds... J&J was no better than a Links or Girlfriends mtg with kids....(and I bet you will find the same membership overlapping in all those orgs and in the sororities...)

It comes with the territory.

AKA_Monet · #12 03-21-2007, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by black_princess

Though I don't have any children as of yet, I can't help but wonder, what does that mean for mothers and children who are not in these other organizations (where you say membership laps over), are not power players or big movers & shakers, or have the pleasure of knowing members? Instead, they are "regular people" who are successfully employed and do good work in their community. Does this mean that their kids are left out because of lack of connections although they may be good contributors to the organization? *Just thinking out loud*

Quote:

Originally Posted by black_princess

But the main reason I ask is because I was working with a young man yesterday (school tutor) and he has soo much talent (he's published some of his poetry, he's a musician with a cd, a comedian, and an all around smart guy . . he calls himself a renniasance (sp) man). But his concern was that in the NY project in which he lives no one will ever "find" him (talent wise). I was just thinking that this 14 year old could possiblely benifit from that advantages and opportunities that J&J may offer, but how would he and other great students, parents, ect who may or may not be in such a difficult situation in the words of my student "get found" or find their way to the organization?

To put it bluntly, no. If you do not have networking connections, then you will not have these experiences. Yes, it sucks. This is the way the "game" is played. Even though there have been significant strides to make a "level playing field" over the last 50 years, the world still operates that way. Anyone who tells you it is different, is lying to you. Yes, it is crap.

Your question is: Can it be different or changed?

In some regions or areas of the country--the United States, no. In some other regions of this country, yes.

What does it take to change, A LOT of hardwork, energy and effort. In ALL that you do, it has to be that.

I have lived in my current city for ~4 years. I have already made a significant impact on concepts and things I felt that needed to be changed. The community I am interested in buffering and upholding is the African American community. Through my Sorority, I have introduced a Health Disparity Elimination related Health Forum. The forum will be sponsored by Komen for the Cure, Pfizer, Novartis, Eli Lilly, American Heart Association, Glida's club, Cancer Lifeline, PCC Natural Food Markets. The location was given to my chapter for FREE.

I am a professional healthcare provider and Yes, I did all of this for FREE. I was NOT paid for the hours I spent consulting and event planning. Most people get well over $5000 for this kind of job. I have the State Medical Director presenting, for free. I have one the state's best Breast Cancer Surgeons, presenting for FREE. I have another hospital's STD director presenting HIV/AIDS for FREE...

Kids feel these kinds of things should be given to them without any work.

For me to finagle all this, yes, I had to be a project whore. I had to attend bullisht-azzed meetings until the middle of night, spend several night away from my husband, get up EARLY in the morning to slang stuff.

That is the "name of the game".

And see, my husband thinks it is ALL about one's brain or intelligence... Yes, intelligence only allows to KEEP your job. But getting in there and meeting folks--NETWORKING--that is where you need to be...

Unsure about where to start?

COMMUNITY SERVICE in your area of interest... Non-profits always need help, that's a guarentee. In fact, in some med school, it is a requirement for admission...

Senusret I · #13 03-21-2007, 09:43 PM

Amen, amen, amen.

Tenacity, hard work, all that.

A few of my "organization-minded" friend always ask me "Don't you want to be in the Boule/Sigma Pi Phi?"

And I tell them "What can the Boule do for me that I can't do for myself?"

AKA_Monet · #14 03-21-2007, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Amen, amen, amen.

Tenacity, hard work, all that.

A few of my "organization-minded" friend always ask me "Don't you want to be in the Boule/Sigma Pi Phi?"

And I tell them "What can the Boule do for me that I can't do for myself?"

My dad, your fraternity brother is in the Boule... Whereas, IMO, your Fraternity (like my Sorority for me), can give you the hardwork and impetus to "BE" that difference, the Boule (and maybe the Links for me) is the networking or connection driver to see that enacted.

Some of father's business deals happened because of members of the Boule assisted him...

Not everyone needs all these things. But to be in a "high stakes game" you will have to ante up. This game is "high stakes" as much as they make you pay to be in the Boule...

NiaX · #15 03-21-2007, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

My dad, your fraternity brother is in the Boule... Whereas, IMO, your Fraternity (like my Sorority for me), can give you the hardwork and impetus to "BE" that difference, the Boule (and maybe the Links for me) is the networking or connection driver to see that enacted.

Some of father's business deals happened because of members of the Boule assisted him...

Not everyone needs all these things. But to be in a "high stakes game" you will have to ante up. This game is "high stakes" as much as they make you pay to be in the Boule...

That is some truth! My dad has been in the Boule since I was 6.... and that is where the other part of the movers and shakers reside in my town.

I agree with your thought about the "game", AKAMonet... so true!