Dating advice

PrettyBoy · #1 03-11-2007, 03:27 AM

Since you're from the "crib", I'll go ahead and give my 2 cents.

This sounds like a serious problem to me. I really don't think the male female friendship thing works at all. Someone is always attracted to the other person. If you end up with someone else, I'll betcha he'll get jealous. I know you were being nice to the guy, but you put yourself in a bad position by studying with him and talking to him on the phone. Even if he is a nice guy, if you're not attracted to him, and you know he's attracted to you, all that's going to do is cause more problems. Trust me, this joker isn't done with you. He's not going to give up. You said he's aggressive too. See, he probably thinks you're easy going and very nice, so therefore he's thinking "Oh she'll eventually give in once she sees that good guys are hard to find." Once you meet "prince charming" that dude is going to get jealous and try to mess things up for you. I hope none of this happens, but I think it will. I mean I hope you find "prince charming" but I hope your "friend" doens't mess you up. It's up to you, but it's just a little advice.

I hope this helps.

cheerfulgreek · #2 03-11-2007, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Since you're from the "crib", I'll go ahead and give my 2 cents.

This sounds like a serious problem to me. I really don't think the male female friendship thing works at all. Someone is always attracted to the other person. If you end up with someone else, I'll betcha he'll get jealous. I know you were being nice to the guy, but you put yourself in a bad position by studying with him and talking to him on the phone. Even if he is a nice guy, if you're not attracted to him, and you know he's attracted to you, all that's going to do is cause more problems. Trust me, this joker isn't done with you. He's not going to give up. You said he's aggressive too. See, he probably thinks you're easy going and very nice, so therefore he's thinking "Oh she'll eventually give in once she sees that good guys are hard to find." Once you meet "prince charming" that dude is going to get jealous and try to mess things up for you. I hope none of this happens, but I think it will. I mean I hope you find "prince charming" but I hope your "friend" doens't mess you up. It's up to you, but it's just a little advice.

I hope this helps.

I don't understand how I put myself in a bad situation. I was just being nice, because he's a sweet person. I don't think he would be the jealous type. You sound like you've been in a similar situation. Have you? Why don't you think men and women can be friends?

PrettyBoy · #3 03-11-2007, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I don't understand how I put myself in a bad situation. I was just being nice, because he's a sweet person. I don't think he would be the jealous type. You sound like you've been in a similar situation. Have you? Why don't you think men and women can be friends?

CG, here's the deal. You are in a bad situation. Here's why. O.K. this guy is physically attracted to you and based on your post he has been for quite some time without you even knowing it. This guy is just happy being around you. He figures that if he can't have you as his girl then he will settle for friendship as long as he is around you. At the same time, he's not going to want any other men around you either. I could be wrong and maybe he isn't the jealous type, but he came to your sorority house too? This joker is very aggressive. Now, lets say he shows up one day and you have a guy over you really like a lot. Uh oh. What do you think the outcome of that will be? Not good.

I've never been in a situation like yours because as soon as I get the feeling women start showing interest, I end the friendship, of course unless I like her . If they don't show interest then that's cool . I have never been able to have a woman as just a friend. They've always wanted more and that's why I don't think women and men can be friends. I'm sure there are some rare cases, but it has never happend for me.

As for you, this doesn't look good. You really need to tell your sorority sisters to stop messin' with this one. I'm going to bed. Good luck homie.

cheerfulgreek · #4 03-11-2007, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

CG, here's the deal. You are in a bad situation. Here's why. O.K. this guy is physically attracted to you and based on your post he has been for quite some time without you even knowing it. This guy is just happy being around you. He figures that if he can't have you as his girl then he will settle for friendship as long as he is around you. At the same time, he's not going to want any other men around you either. I could be wrong and maybe he isn't the jealous type, but he came to your sorority house too? This joker is very aggressive. Now, lets say he shows up one day and you have a guy over you really like a lot. Uh oh. What do you think the outcome of that will be? Not good.

I've never been in a situation like yours because as soon as I get the feeling women start showing interest, I end the friendship, of course unless I like her . If they don't show interest then that's cool . I have never been able to have a woman as just a friend. They've always wanted more and that's why I don't think women and men can be friends. I'm sure there are some rare cases, but it has never happend for me.

As for you, this doesn't look good. You really need to tell your sorority sisters to stop messin' with this one. I'm going to bed. Good luck homie.

You've never had a female friend without them thinking you're cute? Oh, please. If this is true, then you must be really, really cute.

Just because they think you're cute, doesn't mean they want to jump your bones.

I hope you're wrong about all of this. Great advice but I really do hope you're wrong. I guess I'm a little worried now, because you're starting to make some sense out of all of this.

You're going to bed?! Awwww man.

Just when the conversation was getting good.

O.K. thank you PrettyBoy.

Scandia · #5 03-11-2007, 08:25 AM

Pretty Boy- while it often happens that one (usually the less physically attractive of the two) ends up liking the other, this is not always true 100% of the time. I can assure you that Jacques and I were just friends. His girlfriend Melanie even saw us interact and could tell from our body language (or lack of it) that we saw each other only as friends- that we thought of each other as big brother and little sister.

Cheerfulgreek- with some people you can be nice. But with others, you have to be direct. And with others, you have to be blunt bordering on rude because they will NOT take the hint no matter how many times you say NO. No matter how many times you hint at what your type is- or even tell the person that he or she is not your type- they will NOT understand that you want to be JUST FRIENDS. What he's doing is bordering on stalking. You need to have a serious talk with him- and if he keeps pursuing, it may be time to break off things for good.

And you are right about the fact that there is a difference between "finding someone to be attractive" and "being attracted to a person". With the last guy I dated the first one was definitely true, but the second one did not follow.