Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[GlickThetaTau]

I have heard very few stories of people not getting a bid for the organization, in fact it is much more common for people to get 2 or 3 bids. One story does stick out. A girl cheated with the boyfriend of one of the sisters. The couple broke up after days of the cheating, broken up by the guy. The sister was an alumnus, and despite their differencies the girl and the sister became friends, but despite this fact the other sisters put their noses where they didn't belong and did not give this girl a bid, even though it was her one desire during college. She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks but because of this one event (yes it is pretty big) she was not given a bid and treated very poorly by the sisters. Essentially they sisters had made up their mind before they even met the girl.

Now if one does not get a bid i have to think that they did something to anger the members of the organization. It has been my experience that organizations want numbers right off the bat. Thats what the pledging process is for so that you have a chance to personalyl interact with someone and truely find out their character. You cant learn everything about someone during rush, especially if your opinion of them is already tainted

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by GlickThetaTau

I have heard very few stories of people not getting a bid for the organization, in fact it is much more common for people to get 2 or 3 bids. One story does stick out. A girl cheated with the boyfriend of one of the sisters. The couple broke up after days of the cheating, broken up by the guy. The sister was an alumnus, and despite their differencies the girl and the sister became friends, but despite this fact the other sisters put their noses where they didn't belong and did not give this girl a bid, even though it was her one desire during college. She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks but because of this one event (yes it is pretty big) she was not given a bid and treated very poorly by the sisters. Essentially they sisters had made up their mind before they even met the girl.

Now if one does not get a bid i have to think that they did something to anger the members of the organization. It has been my experience that organizations want numbers right off the bat.

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?



Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

Yeah, I guess if you put it that way, in those instances it's possible. But it certainly is very possible to not get a bid during informal since spots in chapters are often very limited in number. It doesn't sound like this guy really understands the way sorority recruitment - formal or informal - works.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

On my campus, it was possible to receive multiple snap bids or informal recruitment bids. However, it was not possible to receive multiple formal recruitment bids.

[Symbal]

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

I think you missed where achiosnap said:

"Don't let a thread on an internet message board cloud your opinion on Greek life. None of us know your school. It's up to you to sort through all the advice and opinions on Greek chat and decide for yourself what's applicable to your situation."

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

Then don't look at it. That's kind of what I was getting at.

PNMs will never know why they're cut. It's not just because membership selection can't be discussed. It's because a lot of times the members themselves don't even know all the reasons. It's not like a sorority will hold up a picture of a PNM during voting and everyone will be like "OMG she wore Old Navy instead of True Religion jeans, she is SO cut."

Unless a PNM is a complete basketcase or is known as the biggest ho on campus, there's almost never one specific reason a PNM is cut. Suffice it to say, sometimes there's nothing you can do to "improve" because you probably don't need to improve... it's either a bad match or there are a limited number of spaces and the sorority has to take the best matches first.

This is a really bad analogy but here goes: pretend a man is trying to win your heart. He may be really nice, funny, cute, whatever but something just doesn't "click" with you. He's still a really great person, and you wish the best for him, but he's just not right for you. There's nothing he'd be able to do to "improve" so you'd be more likely to date him. It's not about his jeans or his shyness. It's just not a good personality match. A lot of times PNMs just don't click with a sorority either and it's not personal.

I hope that maybe sheds a little bit of perspective on this....you're only going to make yourself crazy if you try to figure out what you did "wrong" and get discouraged by anecdotes relayed on Greek Chat. I re-read your recruitment story and your posts since you tried COB and I know this has been really hard for you. If you want to try recruitment again, you probably shouldn't keep reading the bad rush stories and the "why you got cut" threads because it's only going to freak you out. These threads are only designed to give PNMs an "aha" moment as to why they got cut ("Oh, so Ole Miss sororities wouldn't bid a pregnant junior with a 2.2 GPA?"). If the advice doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because it doesn't apply.

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Unless a PNM is a complete basketcase or is known as the biggest ho on campus, there's almost never one specific reason a PNM is cut.

You might also want to add "too much airing of grievances on GreekChat" to that list.

Just sayin'. Especially if the PNM is going to make another attempt to rush and hopes to be successful this time around.

[daydreamer1112]

Wow achiohsnap, I'm proud to call you my sister! Thanks for the amazing advice--I could have used a voice like yours when I was rushing and wondering why some houses cut me.