Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[daydreamer1112]

Also, I don't agree with the notion that if you get cut from your favorite house you should drop out and try again next year. If they don't want you once, why would they want you later? And why would you want to be with a group of girls who didn't appreciate you the first time they met you? Have some self-respect, and examine why you want to be in a sorority in the first place. Most people who have their hearts set on one place feel that way because it's the "best" with the "hottest" girls that frats like the most. What the hell? You shouldn't join a sorority because you want to be in a brothel. Look for girls who appreciate you and trust the system to find you the group you belong with, regardless of what the frats think of them.

Originally Posted by daydreamer1112

Also, I don't agree with the notion that if you get cut from your favorite house you should drop out and try again next year. If they don't want you once, why would they want you later? And why would you want to be with a group of girls who didn't appreciate you the first time they met you?

First of all, I want to say that I believe in maximizing options and NOT dropping out just because a PNM doesn't get invited to the favorite house.

Second, and this depends on campus culture, I fully support a PNM going through recruitment a second time because it could be possible that somehow the PNM just fell through the cracks the first time around. And why do you assume that the PNM would want to even be in her previous top house? Opinions can change over a period of time. I've read many stories here where PNMs had a change of heart and eventually found their home in another house.

You don't know the reasons why the PNM was cut, so you really shouldn't assume that just because they cut you the first time, they'll cut you again.

Have some self-respect, and examine why you want to be in a sorority in the first place. Most people who have their hearts set on one place feel that way because it's the "best" with the "hottest" girls that frats like the most. What the hell? You shouldn't join a sorority because you want to be in a BROTHEL. Look for girls who appreciate you and trust the system to find you the group you belong with, regardless of what the frats think of them.

While I don't doubt the fact that some PNMs go through recruitment for superficial reasons, it's very wrong of you to say that a PNM going through it a second time has no self-respect. PNMs fall in love with a house for reasons you don't even know, and it really isn't your place to question their integrity -- even if they may be setting themselves up for disappointment.

Finally, I won't even touch on your brothel comment.

That is all.

[daydreamer1112]

I agree, OTW, I just think that it's better to be open-minded and really examine the sororities that you have left rather than saying, "Oh, XYZ cut me, so I'm dropping out--screw all these other houses." I'm not saying there's never a situtaion where it is in the PNM's best interest to drop out and try again, I'm just saying in my experience, a lot of girls dropped out for the wrong reasons. They had houses left that were GREAT fits for them but dropped out because they weren't "the best" houses--and "the best" houses weren't necessarily places that I think they would have felt at home in.

PS: I didn't badmouth the house that didn't take me. In fact, I said nothing but positive things about them, although I do think they took a few girls they will regret taking. I still like them a lot and still feel that they would have made an amazing home for me--I'm definitely NOT trying to be negative about them, obviously I still like them or I wouldn't be saying that I still think I fit in with them, even though they cut me.

[AChiOhSnap]

Thanks

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by daydreamer1112

Also, I don't agree with the notion that if you get cut from your favorite house you should drop out and try again next year. If they don't want you once, why would they want you later? And why would you want to be with a group of girls who didn't appreciate you the first time they met you? Have some self-respect, and examine why you want to be in a sorority in the first place. Most people who have their hearts set on one place feel that way because it's the "best" with the "hottest" girls that frats like the most. What the hell? You shouldn't join a sorority because you want to be in a brothel. Look for girls who appreciate you and trust the system to find you the group you belong with, regardless of what the frats think of them.

If you see yourself in that place and that place only...why would you take something else, taking someone's spot who might be more whole heartedly "into" the other group, and therefore a more productive member for them? If I hadn't gotten Alpha Gam, I would have tried to COB in the spring. I felt like I had to suicide, because I didn't want to take a spot in Chi O meant for a girl that was totally in love with Chi O (I mean, theoretically assuming I would have gotten a bid, which of course I don't know...and I still thought they were really awesome, but they weren't "home").

Sometimes people just get skipped over...it doesn't mean their favorite house doesn't like them. It's partially a numbers game...and one girl might be a really great girl, but she didn't bring her "A" game on the first night and got cut because her personality didn't show. After a semester on campus, she might have a better chance. Yeah, there's the risk of getting cut again, but it might be worth the risk.